Family

It's GOOD to be Arnold Schwarzenegger's illegitimate love child -- just ask Joseph Baena, who just got a BRAND NEW JEEP for Christmas ... and TMZ has the pics.

We've learned Ahnald traveled up to Bakersfield on Monday and personally delivered the 16-year-old a brand new 2014 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon ... which, of course, comes with a removable roof (hence the headline, get it?).

We're told Joseph is PUMPED about his new whip ... there's just one problem -- he doesn't have his driver's license yet.

Still, sources say Joseph tried to sneak out to his whip to secretly take it out for a spin ... but he was caught by his mom Mildred Baena and she quickly put a stop to it.

Clearly, she's not a fan of sneaking around ... anymore.

Apparently, MONSTER DUNK SKILLS run in the family ... 'cause LeBron James' kids just went HAM on their Nerf hoop ... and the rim-crushing highlight was all captured on video.

LeBron's sons -- 6-year-old Bryce and 9-year-old Bronny -- teamed for a crazy alley-oop style slam on Christmas morning ... and LeBron was so proud, he posted the footage online.

James even Instagram'd a message to L.A. Clippers stars Blake Griffin and Chris Paul ... saying, "Bronny and Bryce gone hold down Lob City until y'all get back. Cool? It's like the both of y'all but we gone keep it in our room. Haha."

Fun Fact -- If 28-year-old LeBron can stay healthy enough to play in the league for 10 more years, he's got a shot at playing ALONGSIDE his son.

Beyonce's mother Tina Knowles tells TMZ ... she made a prediction way back in 1993 ... and it didn't just come true, it put Nostradamus to shame!!!!

It all had to do with Beyonce's heartbreaking defeat on "Star Search" ... when her girl group lost to a man band called the Skeleton Crew.

Denise just responded to the story via Twitter ...

Charlie Sheen has declared nuclear war on his ex-wife Denise Richards ... blasting her as a "heartless" and "ugly" hag who's holding their children hostage.

Sheen just blasted Richards ... again ... this time, he's furious that Denise won't let their children visit him to exchange Christmas gifts.

Charlie expressed his anger in a series of texts ... saying, "lemme see if I got this straight; you won't even spring the girls for 30 mins, from the 10 mil house I gave you, (100 yds away) to come down and open the gifts their dad bought them before they leave??"

"I hope your stocking is bronze-age coal stuffed along with an assortment of 8x10's of yours so you can see how despicable and heartlessly ugly you and your fermented soul continue to be."

He added, "hash tag. hag shag."

Charlie also says despite the fact Denise won't let him see the kids, she had the "audacity" to ask him to borrow his private jet to go on the big family trip that she banned him from.

Charlie says he went to Denise's home to plead with her to change her mind and to deliver gifts to the kids, but was not allowed to see them.

Charlie concludes, "This is the worst Xmas I've ever had."

Charlie Sheen is no longer on Santa's naughty list ... the actor was just given an awesome Christmas gift -- permission to celebrate with his twin boys.

Sources close to the situation tell TMZ ... the kids temp guardian Scott Mueller (Brooke Mueller's brother) has no interest in punishing Bob and Max on Christmas ... so he and Sheen hooked it up.

We're told Charlie's stoked that he can spend Christmas with the boys -- it takes the sting not seeing daughters Lola and Sam ... who are going on a trip with other ex-wife Denise Richards ... Sheen claims he's not allowed to tag along.

Bah humbug.

Steve Harvey tried to pressure his ex-wife into making a mea clupa ... that she lied when she claimed he brutally beat their son ... so she claims.

Steve Harvey's lawyer wrote a letter for Mary Harvey to sign -- obtained by TMZ -- in which she says she made up the allegation that Steve beat their 11-year-old son with a belt and paddle.

The letter reads in part, "I have to deal with that [the lie] and answer to God for my behavior."

The letter goes on, "I know that you love our son and would do anything legal to protect him. You are a loving father."

As for Steve's effort to keep the allegations under wraps, the letter goes on to say, "I realize that you sought the sealing of the record as a measure to protect our son from a lot of unnecessary anxiety from his peers and others and to protect us as a unit from a media frenzy."

Mary refused to sign the letter and their war continued ... ending this week with a judge throwing Mary in jail for leaking documents to the media.

Steve Harvey was accused by his ex-wife and 11-year-old son of brutally beating the boy ... but Harvey's rep tells TMZ the comedian has been cleared.

A judge found Mary Harvey in contempt Thursday and sent her to jail for leaking sealed information about the alleged incident to the media.

As for the incident ... according to a police report -- obtained by TMZ -- Mary claims Steve got a phone call from the boy's school informing him his son lied about turning in homework. According to the kid, Steve hit him with a belt and then a paddle board -- the kind used for hazing in fraternities.

According to the police report ... cops took photos of the boy's injuries, showing bruises on his buttocks and right thigh, as well as cuts on his leg. The police report says the boy told cops, the beating was so brutal he had trouble urinating for days.

The matter was then referred to the Texas Dept. of Family and Protective Services. Steve's rep tells TMZ, the Dept. concluded, "Based on the information obtained, the child does not appear to be at risk ... the case is closed without further investigation."

The war is over ... Tom Cruise has settled his epic $50 million libel suit against a magazine publisher that accused him of abandoning his daughter Suri ... and part of the settlement included a carefully-worded apology.

The terms of the settlement are sealed. Each side will pay its own legal fees.

Part of the deal was that the defendants issue the following statement: "Bauer Publishing, 'In Touch' and 'Life and Style' never intended to communicate that Tom Cruise had cut off all ties and abandoned his daughter Suri and regret if anyone drew that inference from anything they published."

As we reported ... Cruise sued Bauer Media Group last year over a cover story that appeared in Life & Style magazine claiming he had "abandoned" his then-6-year-old daughter Suri in the wake of his divorce from Katie Holmes.

The conflict was pretty insane -- you'll recall, Tom sat for a deposition in the lawsuit and compared acting to fighting in Afghanistan.

Shaunie O'Neal claims Shaq is full of BS when he says he was always opposed to doing a reality show with their kids ... and says she has it in black and white ... he's lying.

Shaunie filed unsigned contracts and correspondence with the court -- obtained by TMZ -- in which it's clear ... Shaq was negotiating to become a part of the reality show. Shaq was negotiating not only his participation in the show, but his 4 kids as well.

Shaunie submitted a sworn declaration from the head producer, who claims Shaq gave him the green light to do the show, only to withdraw permission after saying the show is "not a good look for me."

The Robertson family just drew a line in the sand with A&E -- NO PHIL, NO SHOW ... and says they are already talking to the cable channel about possibly pulling the plug on "Duck Dynasty."

The family issued a statement saying, "As a family, we cannot imagine the show going forward without our patriarch at the helm. We are in discussions with A&E to see what that means for the future of 'Duck Dynasty.'"

They also say they're "disappointed" that Phil Robertson was suspended by A&E just for expressing his religious beliefs ... which, they point out, is his "constitutionally protected right."

Fun fact: "Duck Dynasty" is the highest rated cable reality TV show ever.

Way to go A&E.

Shaq's blocking Shaunie O'Neal's reality show out of spite ... because of his own failed reality show attempts -- and demanded a ransom of $1 million to give her the go ahead -- so Shaunie claims in new legal docs, but Shaq is calling BS.

Shaunie tried to get a judge to effectively green light her attempt to put her kids in a new reality show with her ... something Shaq is strongly against.

But in her legal docs -- obtained by TMZ -- Shaunie says it's all sour grapes, claiming Shaq tried and failed 3 times to do a reality show with his kids. But sources close to Shaq tell us ... it's simply not true, and if a network wanted a reality show ... he's way more marketable than her.

Shaunie also claims in the docs that Shaq was ok with her show ...as long as she gave him $1 million, which she refused to do. Our Shaq sources say, ridiculous ... the last thing he needs is $$$.

Shaunie grouses that she needs to do the show to pay the bills, because she gets no alimony. But we've learned Shaq pays her $100,000 A MONTH in child support for their 4 kids.

Shaunie says Shaq barely gives two craps about the kids and only sees them 8-10 days a YEAR. Shaq sources tell us Shaunie's lying ... he sees the kids "plenty" and is very involved in their school.

Shaunie O'Neal was unconvincing this morning in court ... a judge just rejected her bid for an order allowing her to put her kids on a new reality show ... something ex-hubby Shaquille O'Neal is vehemently against.

Shaunie wanted the judge to rule in her favor without a hearing, but Shaq's lawyer, disso-queen Laura Wasser convinced the judge there was no rush and a hearing was only fair ... but that takes time.

TMZ broke the story ... Shaq -- who has joint custody -- has been warring with Shaunie over the reality show, insisting ubiquitous cameras at home would be a terrible distraction for their 4 kids ... some of whom are already struggling in school. He's also worried the show will portray Shaunie and the kids in a negative light.

Shaunie has insisted the show will be wholesome family fun, but with scandal-hungry producers breathing down Shaunie's neck and her own cat-fighting track record on "Basketball Wives" ... Shaq isn't convinced.

Filming for the reality show is scheduled to begin in January ... so Shaunie's really under the gun.

Shaunie O'Neal is rushing to court this morning for an emergency order allowing her to put her kids on her new reality show ... but ex-hubby, Shaquille O'Neal, is saying, "Over my dead body."

Shaunie has a deal for a new reality show for VH1 -- "The Shaunie Project." It's about life with her and her kids. But we've learned Shaq has put his big foot down, saying there's no way he'll allow their 4 kids to appear.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... Shaunie has tried convincing Shaq that her show is just like "The Cosby Show" -- good, wholesome, family fun. She told him one of the episodes will focus on Shaunie's aversion to working out. The kids will convince her that working out is good and they'll all run a 5K together. Forgive our cynicism, but it sounds like this show may be scripted.

Shaq is not buying it and feels there are too many pressures imposed by producers -- to be able to keep the show wholesome. He's convinced the show will end up showcasing a dysfunctional family that will hurt his kids, some of whom are already struggling in school. Shaq believes no good can come from cameras in the home.

We're told Shaunie will tell the judge she needs an emergency order so she can meet her deadlines -- filming is scheduled to start the first week of January.

Shaq is also leery of Shaunie ... who once proclaimed she would no longer tolerate violence on her show, "Basketball Wives," because it damages the image of Black women ... yet she quickly changed her mind and the cat fights continued.

Charlie Sheen just dodged another bullet -- the judge in his guardianship case decided NOT to hold him in contempt for yapping on TMZ Live.

Charlie violated the gag order the judge imposed by railing on Brooke Mueller, the L.A. County Dept. of Children and Family Services and the judge himself, calling him "dishonorable judge douchebag."

But we've learned there was a private hearing today where Brooke said she had no interest in pushing the issue so the judge gave Charlie a pass,

And more good news for Charlie. The judge said he was going to grant Sheen 2, 2-hour monitored visitations with twins Bob and Max, and assuming DCFS gives him good reviews, Charlie will incrementally get his custody restored to 50/50.

We got video of Brooke as she was leaving court. She was mum on everything.

Michael Jordan is on his way to creating a basketball team of his own ... TMZ Sports has learned he's having IDENTICAL twin girls.

Michael's wife, Yvette Prieto, is pregnant, though we don't know how far along. They were married in April.

Michael already has 3 kids -- 2 boys and a girl. The kids are all in their 20s.

The people we've been speaking with in Jordan's world are being super secretive/scared stiff. But we're told so far ... the pregnancy is progressing just fine.

Charlie Sheen vows to hit Denise Richards where it really hurts -- in the child support department, because he says he's going to court to get a judge to slash the amount she gets.

Charlie is telling friends ... a judge has NEVER signed off on his current child support agreement with Denise -- it was all agreed to privately.

Denise currently gets $55,000 a month in support for their 2 kids. He's enraged that he's been so generous, and not just with child support. Charlie says he shelled out $9 million for the home he bought for her -- specifically so their 2 girls could be close to him.

So Charlie is telling his buddies ... Denise is epically ungrateful because he says she's denying him the right to have XMAS morning with the girls. He says she's actually taken away the girls' phones so they can't call him.

So Charlie's going to court. Not only does he want child support reduced, he wants the judge to establish his iron-clad right to see his kids on specific holidays.