Hot Bodies

It's official ... Lindsay Lohan can no longer contain herself after partying her face off in Brazil.

The 26-year-old actress ditched her trusty bra Saturday for a helicopter ride in Florianopolis ... after partying all night in Sao Paulo. She's been on the Brazil nightclub train ever since she flew south of the equator to promote some jean company last week, and she's obviously having support issues.

While there were no signs of the feds, the 52-year-old anatomically correct Staten Island wise gal attempted to cool off her fully loaded man-made ginormous guns in the warm waters off Fort Lauderdale on Thursday.

It was a battle of the baby bulge on Wednesday, as maternity fashionista Kim Kardashian bedazzled on the streets of NYC -- while Jessica Simpson shopped in her comfy sweats in Los Angeles.

So we gotta ask ...

"Pawn Stars" pays BANK ... just ask Chumlee ... who dropped thousands of dollars on an expensive new pair of boobs for his girlfriend, TMZ has learned.

Sources close to Chum tell us, the perky new breasts were a recent birthday gift for his gf Tanya -- but that wasn't all he got her.

We're told Chumlee also rented out a penthouse suite for him and his lady at the D Casino hotel last weekend, paid for several lavish dinners at the hotel's Andiamo steakhouse -- including one attended by Tanya's 11 girlfriends -- and even arranged fancy limo rides through Vegas for her and her family.

And get this ... after dinner Saturday night, Chum hit up the high-limit blackjack table ... where the minimum was $500 per hand.

Chumlee tells us, "I wanted it to be the best birthday ever for her and was happy to be a part of a great party, celebration, and special gifts."

Hehe ... special gifts.

While NBC may have dreams of replacing 'Today' show reigning king Matt Lauer with CNN prince Anderson Cooper at some point in the future, the real question is ...

There's a mad scramble under way to get into Jon Hamm's pants -- with two of the biggest underwear companies on the planet hoping to win the affection of Jon's junk ... TMZ has learned.

The undie brands gunning for Jon's crotch are Fruit of the Loom and Jockey -- which both reached out to Hamm after reports surfaced that "Mad Men" producers asked Hamm to stop going commando on set because his dong was visible through his clothes.

TMZ has learned ... both companies have reached out to Hamm in the hopes of remedying the alleged problem ... with FREE UNDERWEAR FOR LIFE!!!

A rep for Jockey told us ... "Jockey would like to offer our support for Jon Hamm in the form of a lifetime supply of Jockey underwear. "

The Fruit of the Loom people also have a message for Jon -- "We want people to be themselves. And if going Commando makes you happy, we say go for it. But in case you change your mind, we got you covered."

For his part, Jon hasn't confirmed the commando rumors ... despite the fact that there are a TON of pics on the Internet of his moose knuckle in full swing.

Kim Kardashian says, even with pregnancy, she's only up to 140 pounds -- which very few people believe. So, step right up and play the game that's not sweeping the nation! (Prizes not included)

Mom jeans and stretch pants be damned, because Kim Kardashian isn't letting a little thing like carrying an unborn child to term stop her from wearing skin tight uncomfortable leather maternity dresses.

By the grace of God, the 32-year-old mom-to-be somehow managed to stay upright in a pair of sky high stiletto heels and successfully wedge all of her childbearing hips, ass and thighs into a form fitting mustard yellow sheath while maneuvering through the streets of NYC on Tuesday.

Soccer babe Brandi Chastain proved she's still got the goods 14 years after infamously stripping down to her sports bra at the 1999 Women's World Cup ... by flaunting her rock hard bikini bod in L.A. on Monday.

The ripped 44-year-old Olympian went two pieces while practicing dives for the celebrity diving show "Splash." Brandi jumped on board the ridiculous competition series after Chelsea Handler's sidekick Chuy injured his foot and was forced to drop out.

Looks like Brandi will have no problem stomaching the competition.

Christina Aguilera looks like she's shed weight since leaving "The Voice" -- and we think we know why ... those super-luxurious spinning chairs might be too comfy! You've been warned, Usher.

"Mob Wives" Chicago" star Pia Rizza is adamant -- the porn company offering her $100,000 to have sex on screen ... can take their deal and shove it somewhere they usually shoot .. up close.

Pia's response comes on the heels of an offer from porn producer Brazzers ... asking the 'Mob Wives' star to bare all in one of their nudie flicks ... after Playboy shot her down.

Pia tells TMZ ... even though she would have posed for Playboy, pigs will fly before she drops trou for a XXX film, saying, "ABSOLUTELY NOT! That is f***ing insane. A porn deal is not in my future."

She explains, "I am not that girl and I will not be doing porn!! I am a mother and it’s just not something I would ever do no matter how much they pay me."

FYI -- she's still down to strip for Hef, saying, "Playboy is on a different level. Everyone has done playboy because it's classier."

Here's Arnold Schwarzenegger back in his early bodybuilding days when he was just 19 in 1967 (left) -- and his shirtless 19-year-old son Patrick Schwarzenegger in Miami this weekend (right).

Question is ...

They've been spotted out getting cozy again lately, but last night Hayden Panettiere and her ex-boyfriend Wladimir Klitschko put all those dating rumors to rest ... by gorging on their tongues in public.

With the entire American Airlines Arena watching, the itty bitty 23-year-old babe and her 6'6" Ukrainian boxing champ lover inhaled each other's mouths at the Miami Heat game in Florida on Sunday.

After previously dating for about two years, Hayden and Wlad ended their relationship back in 2011.

Glad to see they've kissed and made up.

It's been six years since he divorced Britney Spears, but Kevin Federline is still livin' large.

Rockin' a long grown out weave hidden underneath a baseball cap, a shapeless oversized t-shirt which accentuated his manly curves, fancy wide leg elastic waist shorts that flaunted his man cankles and a pair of comfy sensible kicks which cushioned any blow to his joints, the 35-year-old father of five enjoyed some quality time with his adorable son Sean Preston at his soccer game in L.A. on Sunday.

When God closes a door, he opens a window, and in the case of "Mob Wives Chicago" star Pia Rizza ... that window is hardcore porn.

As TMZ first reported, Rizza got word that some racy pics she took were about to be released, so she gave them to us as a way to gauge Playboy's interest. Turns out ... there wasn't any.

But Rizza does have a future in the adult business if she wants it. Porn company Brazzers is offering her $100,000 because they feel her "fierce sexual energy has taken the world by storm."

Flattery will get them everywhere, we suspect.

A rep for Brazzers says they'd prefer to shoot a full-on porn, but they're willing to renegotiate the deal if Pia would prefer to do a pictorial.

Citizens of Earth were on high alert this week after a vision from the heavens descended upon New York City ... the almighty Ryan Gosling.

With his immaculately disheveled locks, intellectually superior statement glasses, perfectly grown out face scruff, miraculously sexy vintage-looking graphic t-shirt exposed through his supernaturally matched hoodie & jacket combo, His Holiness -- who says he's punishing us mortals by taking a break from acting -- was spotted leaving a Manhattan hotel with what must be some sort of sacred text in hand.

Even nonbelievers are in luck, because the brooding celestial 32-year-old deity is here to save us all.

Amen.