DUI

The impaired duo took turns lifting their dresses and slapping each other's behinds while the men around them drooled. Even comedian Godfrey gets in on the action, looking like he's trying to restrain himself from completely grabbing some of the exposed goodies.

These women have the kind of class you just can't buy ... but can rent.

Tracy Morgan has completed his probation for DUI, and has been cleared for removing his SCRAM alcohol monitoring anklet too early.

TMZ was in court today, where a Los Angeles County Judge told Morgan's attorney, Blair Berk, his "probation terms have been fulfilled." Before making his decision, the judge looked over several letters submitted by medical doctors, and a letter from the SCRAM company verifying a medical issue. The court was given five photos showing proof of Morgan's medical problem, which caused him to remove the SCRAM early. As of now, we do not know the exact nature of the ailment.

TMZ was outside of Virgin Megastore in Times Square last night, where a few obsessed BSB fans were already lined up for tonight's record signing -- including a team of wasted, red-headed, Irish soccer players.

After singing a sloppy rendition of "I Want It That Way," the guys proceeded to strip off most of their clothes -- thankfully leaving boxers intact -- and even had a jig-filled dance-off with a homeless man. Way to break down those Irish stereotypes!

The possessed "Child's Play" toy was outside of Area -- where he let his love of four-letter words fly while taking pictures with a few female friends.

He left with a car full of ladies -- guess his classy pick-up line, "I am Chucky and I'ma bite your ass!" sounded appealing.

Britney Spears was pulled over by an L.A. Sheriff last night -- and while she got off with just a warning, the scene around the car was complete insanity.

TMZ caught Spears and ex-assistant/"cousin" Alli Sims leaving Winston's late Monday night, where the two were quickly pulled over for a minor infraction, nothing serious. Brit wasn't driving, but it was her Pumpkinmobile, and Alli can be heard telling the officer, "We'll get one this week, she just got this." It's unclear what was said, but It appears that Brit's temporary tags might have expired.

After the officer walked away from the vehicle, a drunk guy started shaking his booty against Brit's window, with Spears looking extremely confused (more so than usual) as he kept dancing. A screaming match broke out in front of the car too. Gimme more crazazy!

Tracy Morgan didn't wear his alcohol monitoring bracelet for the full 90 days, and now he claims that a medical issue is the reason.

TMZ has learned that Morgan's attorney, Blair Berk, appeared in a Los Angeles County courtroom today and explained that Morgan took off his SCRAM bracelet early because of an undisclosed medical condition.

Berk will present specifics to the court on October 30.

Spirited Swanson started off by giving a detailed description of the event -- "The Scream Awards, are ... it's like screaming, crazy!" -- before hugging every security guard (some more than once) she could get her hands on.

Let's see Sarah Michelle Gellar do that!

TMZ caught the giggly actress donating money to the dog of a man in need. Yes, the dog. Wonder what put her in such a happy mood? Nicole then happily flipped off cameras and jibber-jabbed about J.Lo's pregnancy and working on TV pilots.

It's so nice to see a together, healthy and upbeat former child star out having a good time.

The streets were also filled with stumbling society girls and drunk debutantes, and one classy birthday girl who left paps disgusted after flashing her ta-tas.

All this and more in today's "got milk?" edition of Bar Catcher.

Security watched -- one with his pistol ready -- as the bloodied brawler's pathetic attempts to get around his female friends failed. The gun-toting guards seemed wary of what the ruffian was determined to retrieve from the trunk of his car. More liquor perhaps?

One of our cameramen spotted an extension wearing, tweaked out brunette in front of Hyde last night -- no, not Britney. It looked like a war zone outside of some of the other clubs, with a herd of ladies struggling to find the energy to remain upright. DUI nightcaps are not fun, darlings! Please, people, choose your designated drivers! Dranks to that!

All this and more in today's Bar Catcher.

UPDATE: TMZ just received the following statement from Angle's attorney:

"Kurt Angle maintains his innocence relative to the charges brought by the police in this matter. The improper arrest occurred in the middle of the afternoon after Mr. Angle showed no signs of intoxication. The police have no blood alcohol content and not firsthand knowledge of his operation of his vehicle. We believe the motivation for this arrest is based upon Kurt Angle's celebrity status and we are confident that we will prevail when the truth becomes evident."

Kurt Angle, the former WWE and current TNA wrestling star, was charged with DUI and careless driving after being pulled over on the afternoon of September 28.

Angle was arrested at his home in Moon Township, Penn. after a witness spotted a white Cadillac Escalade driving erratically after pulling out of a local bar. The registration of that vehicle led police to Angle's home, where cops say he admitted to driving the vehicle and that he had just left the bar in question.

Officers then say Angle showed "signs of intoxication," and they administered a field sobriety test, which he failed. Angle was then placed under arrest and taken to a local hospital where he refused to take a blood test.

No future hearing has been set.

Angle won an Olympic gold medal in freestyle wrestling in 1996. Calls to Angle's reps were not immediately returned.

• Kurt Angle DUI Press Release

The big-boobed beauty got the boot at Crimson over the weekend ... and embarrassed herself in front of TMZ cameras when she was too drunk to put together one sentence after another. Shame be gone!

That girl is none other than Jessica Kramer, a onetime Playboy Cybergirl and current Internet T&A fleshtrepreneur.

When she watched herself on TMZ TV Monday, she admitted on her MySpace page it was, "not one of my proudest moments, but what's done is done and I had a great night!"

TMZ was outside of Crimson last night, where one fantastically chested female got the boot for drinking too much. Slurring her every word, homegirl tried to prove she was sober -- she wasn't successful.

After attempting to run back into the club a few times, one of her buddies threw her in a taxi, where she proceeded to cuss out our cameraman and punish him in the worst way possible -- by flashing her incredible cleavage. The horror!

"30 Rock" star Tracy Morgan admitted in court today to consuming alcohol on August 4 -- a violation of his probation stemming from a DUI conviction.

As a result, Morgan was ordered to wear the SCRAM device an additional 80 days and complete 10 AA meetings by October 23.

If he violates his probation again, Los Angeles City Attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan tells TMZ that Morgan would go to County Jail for 30 days.

Morgan violated his probation in Los Angeles when he was arrested for D.U.I. on November 28 of last year in New York.