Hook Ups

The Game tells TMZ, he is NOT schtupping Khloe Kardashian ... despite reports to the contrary.

Photos surfaced today showing Game and Khloe -- who's married to Lamar Odom -- hugging it out in L.A.'s Runyon Canyon Park last month ... where Game's been doing a "60 Days of Fitness" program.

You'll recall, Khloe's brother Rob Kardashian is also doing the program ... and Game tells us, Khloe is too, which is why they were hanging out.

The Game says, "The pictures that they see of us out together are because she is a part of my 60DaysofFitness team."

Michael Fassbender chatted it up with a very pretty blonde girl last night in London, and you gotta wonder what she was thinkin' ... as in, "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just Michael Fassbender."

MF was in London, outside the Groucho club in Soho. The lady seems pretty calm about the whole thing. It's unclear if she recognizes Michael ... after all, he does have his pants on.

Michael is famous for "Shame." He's also famous for his extremely large penis.

When you put them side-by-side, Tiger Woods just can't hold a candle to Elin Nordegren's alleged new boyfriend. In fact, Tiger's is WAY smaller.

Billionaire coal magnate Chris Cline has moored his mega-yacht on Florida's swanky Jupiter Island, directly in front of Tiger's lesser vessel.

It's no contest all the way, with Chris' boat measuring 164 feet, and Tiger's a tidy 155 ft.

Chris does misstep in the name game. His Yacht is called Mine Games. The name of Tiger's boat is more like a plea ... Privacy.

Back to size ... Chris has got Tiger beat by a solid 9.

Macklemore knows ... when you can't find a partner to get you into the Mile High Club, ya gotta take matters into your own hands.

The "Thrift Shop" rapper was on his way to catch a flight at LAX last night when we asked if he'd ever thrown a mid-flight bone ... something that's become harder than ever to pull off these days.

Macklemore admitted he'd never actually done the deed with another person ... but revealed he has performed 1st Class service on himself ... in the lavatory, of course.

Now that he's confirmed he's dating 28-year-old Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn, Tiger Woods has his choice of rooms to make the magic happen in his sick $60 million mega estate.

Tiger's ridiculous waterfront crib on Florida's exclusive Jupiter Island comes with all the bare necessities for an athletic super couple to work up a sweat together ... like a tennis court, diving pool and lap pool, running track, boat slip and the ubiquitous backyard golf course.

Lindsey will no doubt enjoy her time being the mistress of the house.

Once a cheater, always a cheater ... so says a former Tiger Woods mistress who tells TMZ Tiger's new GF Lindsey Vonn better know what she's getting herself into.

We spoke to former hooker/porn star/ Devon James -- who tells us she was shocked when she saw the pics of Tiger and Lindsey on Facebook yesterday ... saying, "I thought he would have picked a woman who was more petite and not someone who is more muscular and has a bigger head than his."

James continues, "But maybe his taste has changed since Elin and the 27 mistresses."

"But you know when the pics came out of Tiger and his new girlfriend ... somewhere, 15 other girls were going , 'Huh? I thought I was his GF!'"

Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn just admitted what we've all known for weeks -- they are dating ... and they've already posed for the kind of cheesy couple photos normally reserved for people about to get married.

Tiger and Lindsey each posted the dating confession on their Twitter and Facebook pages. Tiger's said ... "Something nice that's happened off the course was meeting Lindsey Vonn. Lindsey and I have been friends for some time, but over the last few months we have become very close and are now dating."

Lindsey posted a very similar comment ... "Our relationship evolved from a friendship into something more over these past few months and it has made me very happy."

But the best part of their coming out is definitely the corny photo shoot.

Oprah herself says don't hate on Terrence Howard for loving on her "tig ol' bitties" -- because she fully admits her rack was large and in charge during their sex scene.

Oprah taped an interview with Steve Harvey ... and talked about the scene Terrence made famous last week by blabbing about her round mounds.

Oprah told Steve ... "It was supposed to be like a little scene, and because Terrence Howard misbehaved it turned into a bigger scene, and then a bigger scene."

Can ya blame him?

As for people being offended about Howard's "tig ol' bitties" comment -- Oprah had an awesome response for that.

Chris Brown has a message for Rihanna ... and any other guy who might want a piece of her ... back off, because "THAT IS MY P**SY!"

Chris was partying at Emerson Theatre in Hollywood early Thursday AM when he grabbed the mic from the DJ and went off on how to talk to your woman -- and the bizarre rant was all caught on tape.

Chris said, "You GOTTA say that one thing to her ... Don't make me have to tell you again, that's my p***y baby! ... so you better not give it away!"

Chris rambled on ... "So every person in this motherf**king building, if you got a bad bitch you better say that s**t to her, or she might f**k another n***a."

Another girl tip ... don't beat your woman.

January Jones ... the alleged Sienna Miller in the Liam Hemsworth, Miley Cyrus relationship ... finally faced the media about her alleged affair yesterday ... and she didn't exactly deny anything.

The "Mad Men" star arrived to a flock of photogs at LAX and was immediately hit with the questions everyone wants to know -- Did you hook up with Liam? Why were you and Liam photographed together in the back seat of an SUV at the Oscars?

As we previously reported, Miley was spotted out in public this week without her engagement ring ... fueling rumors that she broke things off with Liam because of his alleged affair with Ms. Jones.

Making love to Oprah Winfrey is a life-changing experience ... so says Terrence Howard, who claims the best part about doing a sex scene with the Big O in their upcoming movie was her "tig ol' bitties."

Seriously, Terrence said that in a recent interview with Movie Fanatic, in which he talks about his and Oprah's love-making scene in "The Butler," slated for release later this year.

Terrence -- who plays Oprah's neighbor in the movie -- said, "Oprah and I had such chemistry. To be able to make out with Oprah and to have love scenes with her and those tig ol' bitties ... She's such a lovely, voluptuous woman ... That was wonderful."

IS NOTHING SACRED???

Bob Woodward was famously portrayed by Robert Redford in "All the President's Men" ... and the legendary journalist says the movie did the same for his sex life that Watergate did for Richard Nixon.

We caught up with Woodward in Washington, D.C. yesterday and asked if having one of the best looking guys in Hollywood play him in the 1976 movie actually helped him score more chicks.

Woodward got a kick out of the question, and then whipped out a funny ... yet sad response.

Don't blame 50 Cent for the awkward encounter he had with Erin Andrews at the Daytona 500 last week -- the hottest woman in sideline reporting says the blame lies squarely with her.

During the big race last Sunday, Erin was searching for Danica Patrick (to no avail) when she ran into Fiddy and ... well, it was weird.

But yesterday at LAX, Erin told our photog she was so frazzled in the moment ... the entire encounter was totally her fault and she's actually good friends (and even business partners) with 50.

The old "it's not you, it's me" -- we've heard that one before.

Marc Anthony's new GF Chloe Green is the daughter of UK billionaire Sir Philip Green -- which is awesome for Chloe and Marc, but not so awesome to one fashion-obsessed shopper.

Not to worry ... one good sale, and she'll get over it.

1:58 PM PT -- The woman has been identified!!! She's actress Erin Cahill from the ABC show "Red Widow." We're told Erin and Seal met two days ago at a charity function.

Seal has broken the seal ... or so it appears ... passionately embracing a beautiful mystery woman in L.A. yesterday.

Sources close to the singer tell TMZ, the woman is NOT his publicist, his assistant, his manager, or anyone else professionally related to him ... which TOTALLY MEANS THEY'RE BANGING.

It's the first time he's been seen out with another woman since he and supermodel Heidi Klum split last year after 7 years of marriage.

Her name is Heather ... and she made her first public appearance with Arnold during a romantic dinner date in Santa Monica over the weekend.

The next day, the two met up for a brunch ... and everybody knows there's no such thing as a platonic brunch.

Sources tell TMZ ... Heather is not your average physical therapist ... she's worked with a myriad of professional athletes including UFC badass Georges St-Pierre.

It's unclear if Heather is actually treating Arnold ... but one source close to the Governator tells us, "She is not in the normal group of people who treat him."

Plus, THEY BRUNCHED TOGETHER.

We smell romance ... and huevos rancheros.