Jersey Shore

Sammi from "Jersey Shore" is officially in the clear after allegedly popping a girl twice in the face at a Miami club last month -- but it's only because she got the hell out of Dodge in the nick of time.

The Miami-Dade State Attorney's Office tells TMZ, the case of Sammi's fists of fury is closed -- because "as a matter of policy, we do not file charges involving misdemeanor crimes when the accused is beyond [our] jurisdiction."

But here's the rub ... if Sammi ever shows her face in Miami again, she could face battery charges.

According to the State Attorney, "This case could be revisited if and when the accused returns."

We're told Sitch is now convinced he knows more about producing the show than the producers or MTV. As one source put it, "It's gotten ridiculous. If we tell him not to cross the street, he will. He just defies us."

What's worse ... producers are trying to keep the cast real ... so they're not making deals on the phone or bragging to castmates and others about their fame or their wallet. In that department, The Situation is out of control. As a result, a lot of what's already been shot is unusable, because it doesn't even resemble a reality show.

And here's what's pissing off producers the most. We're told the cast gets one time a week where they can take care of their personal business deals off camera. Sitch is on the phone all the time. We're told he thinks people want to see him wheeling and dealing on the phone, and it has driven producers crazy.

Whether you like it or not, ab-flasher The Situation is releasing a rap song -- and we've got the first clip.

The "Jersey Shore" star's song -- aptly titled "The Situation" -- is a collaboration with Fatman Scoop, DJ Class, The Disco Fries and a whole lotta auto-tune.

Sitch's club banger hits iTunes this week.

You've been warned.

Snooki wasn't telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth when she said she didn't use tanning beds anymore because of President Barack Obama's harsh comments.

Our "Jersey Shore" spies tell us Snooki is now doing what's called a cocktail -- she goes in a high pressure tanning bed, and then tops it off with a spray tan.

In this case, The Situation's body is a wonderland.

With Snooki supervising, Paula felt up Sitch's shaved smooth chest backstage at a rehearsal for the CMT Music Awards in Nashville on Wednesday.

TMZ has learned Doron Ofir Casting is looking for "12 lucky guys and gals who are keepin' it country and want to party their asses off" to star in a new reality show called "Party Down South."

TMZ has learned Margaret Skourlis -- the current Ms. NJ United States (yes, that's a real pageant) -- auditioned for the show last week.

Margaret -- who's not Italian, but Greek-American -- tells TMZ she thinks she'd get along with Snooki, and claims she can handle the "JS" crew after surviving beauty pageants ... "We're not as evil to each other but we're just as snippy in other ways."

Margaret's best credential: She told us pageants and "Jersey Shore" both "excenturate things." Your guess is as good as ours.

It all went down at the Aztec Ocean Resort in Seaside Heights, NJ -- where according to officials more than 3,000 people gathered on the streets to watch The Situation dance on a hotel balcony.

According to the Seaside Heights Chief of Police -- people were getting pushed and shoved in the crowd when The Sitch removed his shirt ... so the Chief personally asked the "Jersey Shore" star to cover up and tone it down before the crowd got out of control.

The Chief tells us The Situation totally understood and even put his shirt back on ... but it's only a matter of time before it happens again!!!

As The Sitch got off his plane from Miami -- where he was just shooting Season 2 of "Jersey Shore" -- dude told us his next step is to "jump into film."

Sources close to "The Situation" tell TMZ that Snooki, Pauly D and the rest of the crew will spend today -- their last day in Miami -- on the set of the video for "I Like It."

The song, by Enrique Iglesias and featuring rapper Pitbull, appears on Enrique's new album as well as the "Jersey Shore" soundtrack.

TMZ spoke with Seaside Heights Chief of Police Thomas J. Boyd, who tells us 7-10 police officers will be assigned to the "Jersey" cast 24/7 during production. Last year, only one officer was assigned to the show.