The Kardashians

Well, we hate to break the news ... but it's official -- Kris Humphries is off the market.

Kris exchanged vows yesterday in Montecito, CA with his blushing bride, Kim Kardashian (maybe ya heard of her?)

The star-studded guest list included the likes of Ryan Seacrest and his girlfriend Julianne Hough, "Dancing With the Stars" pro Mark Ballas and his date Cheryl Burke, Brody Jenner and his girlfriend Avril Lavigne, dress designer Vera Wang, Demi Lovato, Ciara, NBA star Carmelo Anthony and La La Vasquez and the Lohans ... Dina, Ali and Lindsay.

Kim's older sisters Kourtney and Khloe served as maids of honor, while younger sisters Kylie and Kendall were bridesmaids. The ring bearer was Kim's nephew, Mason Disick, who carried wedding bands designed by Lorraine Schwartz, who also designed the 20.5-carat engagement ring.

Bruce Jenner walked Kim down the aisle.

Kris wore a tailor-made white tuxedo jacket with black pants and a white bow tie by Ermenegildo Zegna. He changed into a traditional black tux for the reception.

The dinner was catered by Wolfgang Puck and the bride and groom were introduced and then serenaded by Robin Thicke.

Kim Kardashian made a brief appearance outside her hotel this afternoon -- talking to sister Kourtney as she gets ready to walk down the aisle.

It's nice they were able to share an intimate moment before things get crazy.

Lindsay Lohan arrived at a hotel in Santa Barbara in the wee hours of the morning as she gets ready to attend to the Kim Kardashian wedding today.

Sources close to Lindsay tell us the reason why she showed up to the hotel at 2:30 AM ... her mom Dina arrived on a late flight from NYC.

Kim Kardashian doesn't do anything for free (get your mind out of the gutter) so it only figures her wedding day would be a HUGE pay day for Kim K.

People magazine won the bidding war for exclusive wedding day photos, says The Hollywood Reporter, to the tune of $1.5 MILLION.

The trade says Kim and hubby-to-be Kris Humphries also raked in $300,000 for the engagement announcement back in May and $100,000 from OK! mag for bridal shower pics.

We thought weddings were supposed to cost money?

The tents are up ... the grass is cut ... and the pool has been transformed into a makeshift stage -- all in preparation for Kim Kardashian's MEGA-WEDDING this weekend.

Everything appears ready to go at the $29 million estate in Montecito, CA where Kim and Kris Humphries will take the plunge this weekend.

As we previously reported, the majority of the wedding festivities will go down underneath the tent in an effort to thwart the paparazzi -- because the Kardashians don't want the footage to leak out before their special airs on TV.

Wedding crashers BEWARE -- Kim Kardashian's party planning team is taking drastic measures to keep uninvited guests OUT ... with security treating the event "as if it was the White House."

Sources connected to the wedding tell TMZ ... party crashers are being treated as a serious threat ... and not only will security constantly patrol the grounds at the Montecito estate ... but we're told they'll also get support from the sky ... in the form of roaming choppers.

We're told the majority of the wedding festivities will take place either indoors or under tents to thwart the paparazzi -- because the Kardashians don't want the footage to leak out before their special airs on TV.

Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian are a bunch of purse-stealing fakers -- at least according to a handbag designer, who claims the new Kardashian Kollection knocked off one of her signature bags.

Designer Monica Botkier fired off a cease and desist letter on Thursday to Sears -- the retailer currently hocking the Kardashian line -- insisting the $94 faux leather bag inarguably resembles her $600 Trigger Clyde Satchel.

According to Women's Wear Daily, Sears promptly pulled the KK bag from its website.

You see the wares, so we gotta ask ...

Kris Jenner says the cosmetics company she endorses has NO RIGHT to sue her for getting plastic surgery back in June ... because the procedure didn't affect her face ... it just tightened up some loose neck skin.

The company in question -- called B&P -- sued Jenner earlier this week, claiming she breached a contract to endorse a line of their anti-aging skin care products ... when the famous mother publicly admitted to getting a facelift.

By doing so, B&P alleges, Jenner violated her agreement not to harm the reputation of the company and the product she's endorsing -- an eye care line called "Beautiful Eyes in a Bag."

But sources close to the Kardashian Klan tell TMZ, Kris is adamant ... the lawsuit is BOGUS -- because Kris' facelift didn't affect her eyes in any way whatsoever ... JUST HER NECK.

Kris' alleged agreement with B&P went into effect in March 2011 and was to be effective until March 2012 -- but Kris admitted ... she got the facelift in June.

So we gotta ask ...

Kim Kardashian says she's totally fine with the fact her fiance Kris Humphries chose ANOTHER woman -- his mom -- as the most beautiful woman on the planet ... calling it "sweet."

Kim was leaving a nail salon in Bev Hills yesterday ... when she told us, it was "Definitely cool for him to say ... I thought it was sweet."

In case you missed it -- Kris seemingly whiffed on the most softball question ever last week, when he was walking WITH KIM and someone asked if he thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world ... and he didn't just say YES!!!

File this under: Things you NEVER say to your fiancee.

Kris Humphries was lumbering around L.A. yesterday when he was asked -- IN FRONT OF Kim Kardashian -- if he was with "the most beautiful girl in world" ... and HE SAID, gasp, NO!

TMZ has obtained a copy of Kim Kardashian's wedding invitation, and it has all the makings of a fancy schmancy affair.

The wedding, which will be held on Saturday, August 20, is strictly black tie.

The ceremony will be held in Montecito, California -- near Oprah's mansion.

Of course, the bash is being thrown by Kris Jenner and her sidekick, Bruce.

Another member of the Kardashian Klan has agreed to compete on the next season of "Dancing with the Stars" TMZ has learned ... but it ain't Khloe ... or Kourtney ... or Kris -- it's a dude!

Multiple sources confirm ... Rob Kardashian is officially on board -- despite concerns about the "Dancing" schedule conflicting with Kim's super MEGA wedding in August. We're told the two sides addressed the issue and hammered out a plan -- and Rob signed on the dotted line.

As TMZ first reported, Kim filed suit against Old Navy because she felt they were trying to intentionally deceive people into thinking she was a spokeswoman for the company by using a girl who looked just like her in their commercials.

But our sources say ... the suit was filed because Sears felt the Old Navy commercial compromised its ad campaign for the Kardashian Kollection -- an exclusive line of clothing and bedding that launches in about a month and a half.

We're told Sears execs actually questioned if Kim was part of the Old Navy ads. The company feels the ad creates confusion in the marketplace and that happens to be exactly what Kim needs to prove to win her suit.

Bottom line -- Kim doesn't care about KK wannabes ... but she cares a lot about a deal that could be worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

Khloe Kardashian originally debuted a picture of her hubby's new do on her Twitter last week -- showing stars shaved into his typically smooth head.

We're told Lamar had his barber, "G", give him the stars in honor of his cousin -- who used to call him "LaStar" while he played for the Clippers.