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DJ Steve Aoki absolutely nailed one of his wheelchair-bound fans in the face with a 80-foot cake toss -- and if you think that's awesome ... the kid's reaction is the real icing on the ... oh you get it.

And now ... a verse from our song about the worthless piece of garbage who stole James Gandolfini's Rolex:

We hope you burn in hell ...
You gutter punk slime.
We hope your eyeballs melt ...
So you can't tell time.

Don't worry, there's more ... and the music is awesome.

Check out the clip.

Britney Spears put God fearing men to the test by wearing a super slutty outfit to church -- thereby daring everyone to block out their impure thoughts.

Guess that wasn't the last temptation, after all.

Tony Hawk's first skateboard now hangs in The Smithsonian -- but the museum better make room on the wall for another Hawk sighting.

Turns out ... the son also shreds!

Simon Cowell and Lauren Silverman were spotted getting cozy a year ago on a boat -- while her husband was also on the boat! If that seems strange, that's because ... IT IS!

Unless, of course, you're used to chilling on a yacht ... where life is very different.

Mega-producer Brian Grazer has the Midas touch, but with his new movie "Rush" coming out ... he's gotta be worried about this year's trend of bombing blockbusters, right?

Nope ... and BG says the reason is simple: no snails, dude. No snails.

Britney Spears and her giant breasts (who knew?) know no fear -- because she braved the potentially less-than-pristine pools of a water amusement park for TWO straight days!

She better pray it's #1, and not #2 ... rated.

Alex Rodriguez will never play baseball again ... is what some people think -- just because he scarfed down 20 wings at a Hooters, just as he's supposed to be getting in game shape.

Before you dismiss the theory, please note -- A-Rod also had CURLY FRIES!! Boom.

Taylor Swift has been entrusted with rock's biggest secret -- who Carly Simon's singing about on "You're So Vain" -- which means TSwizzle's probably writing a song right now to spill the beans.

Right, legion of Taylor-haters?

Former NFL star Shawne Merriman is a certified badass on the football field -- but tackling the "American Ninja Warrior" course is next level.

And Shawne, let's just say real ninjas don't lose fights ... with trampolines!

Shirtless Kiefer Sutherland reminded us he's the biggest party animal in Hollywood -- just in case we forgot about the time he dropped trou at a bar, or jumped into a Christmas tree, or dressed up like booze, or...

You get the picture.

Anthony Weiner's sexting/phone sex partner Sydney Leathers is following the natural progression -- turning political controversy into a potential cash cow..

A porno cash cow!

Taylor Swift's new bikini is totes adorable according to ladies -- while in the eyes of guys ... it's the ugliest female-figure-ruining thing since your grandma hit the beach in the 1930s!

This ... means war.

'Real Housewife' NeNe Leakes' ridiculous wedding cost her and absurd $1.8 million -- and then spawned a lawsuit that could cost her north of $2.5 million!

If only she'd taken Harvey's advice.

Danica McKellar was best known for playing Winnie Cooper on "The Wonder Years" ... until now. Now DM is that hotpants-wearing, midriff-baring chick from a music video!

You lose, Kevin Arnold ... and we win.

We know Shakira's hips don't lie, but her ass is another story -- because even though she put on a sexy g-string to hit the beach in Hawaii ... she kept her goods under wraps!

Why so cruel, Shakira? TMZ investigates!