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Khloe Kardashian's a regular private dick ... when it comes to tracking down the punks who stole $250k worth of jewelry from her house -- but Lamar Odom can relax.

His alibi's pretty solid. For now.

Sure, George Lopez got bombed and wound up passed out on the floor of a casino -- cause, y'know ... not too many other options when you suck down several dozen shots.

Liquor. It's complicated.

Answer: The Oscars red carpet is the most awesomely hysterical event!
Question: What is something no one's ever said in the history of anything?

Yeah, having a bunch of celebs isn't enough to make the annual pre-show funny -- but we have a simple solution. Pay attention, Academy!

One McDonalds customer's rage over napkins -- one napkin, to be precise -- inspired him to file the most awesome $1 MILLION lawsuit we've ever seen.

It's awesomeness covered in ridiculousness ... and fried in hysterical.

Kim Kardashian's plan to make a quick, easy $500,000 blew up in her face when a fancy event took a seriously racist turn -- if you consider a white guy in Blackface mocking your fiance, racist.

And the whole thing went down right in the heart of -- well, some of us aren't really sure.

Jason Momoa's ridiculously chiseled physique doesn't come easy, and he even admits that maintaining it is really hard! Hey-ohhhh ... yes, we're talking about sex.

Trust us ... his workout beats an hour on a treadmill. Every time.

Legendary "Dating Game" host Jim Lange shared his stage with some huge Hollywood types back in the day ... Ahnald, Farrah, even Michael Jackson!

Sure the occasional serial killer found victims love with Jim's help. But he was just that good.

R.I.P. big guy.

The Janoskians are known for their stupid, and sometimes hysterical Internet stunts -- and now it's made 'em sex symbols. And we all know there's nothing sexier than Australian teenagers talking crap.

Seriously ... they talked about poop. A lot.

Drake and Rihanna's Paris reunion was way more than just a performance for fans -- because there were all kinds of signs the exes are actually bumping genitals OFF stage too.

Hint: Those white outfits ain't so pure.

Jennifer Lawrence is so worn out, so beat down -- at the age of 23 -- she needs a break from Hollywood ... or at least that's what one movie honcho claims.

Which is cool -- because she's totally earned it, right? Not even close ... said one person.

Robin Thicke fought the good fight to save his marriage ... taking a hail Mary flight to meet Paula Patton in Canada -- but it must have been too little too late.

Or she couldn't forget all the "crevicing" he's been spotted doing. Yeah, that's a word now.

One Direction fans can chill ... the boys aren't breaking up yet -- which is awesome news for anyone who isn't named Harry Styles.

That guy's kinda screwed.

Can't keep a good rattlesnake down -- or a deadly one -- 'cause the snake that killed Pastor Jamie Coots from "Snake Salvation" ... is back in the church.

And now you have options: Death by rattler venom OR flame! Ahh ... religion.

Rihanna got slammed for her Instagram shout out to a fan who happens to be incredibly well endowed -- in the face.

Jeez ... compare one guy's lips to a leather recliner, and everyone gets bent!

Christina Aguilera pregnancy by Matt Rutler was no mistake ... it was precisely planned as the final domino in an elaborate plot!

Her ultimate goal is still up for debate, but his goal's pretty obvious. Way to go, Matty!

No one can explain how the first 'Sharknado' became such a HUGE hit last year -- but now that we've seen Ian Ziering shooting the first scenes of the sequel in NYC ...

Ummm.