Bill Cosby's comedy act Thursday night is solid proof he's a living, breathing dichotomy ... on the one hand bullying weak reporters into killing stories about his alleged rapes, and on the other making himself sound like an evil man on the prowl.
Cosby performed to a packed house at the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. In one bit, he jokes about his relationship with kids, saying "Bill Cosby you are an evil man!"
But in case the audience didn't connect the dots, he went on to joke about his relationship with his wife, saying it's not as "energetic" after 50 years of marriage ... but says there are still "certain things, as a male, you get excited about."
BTW ... Cosby killed it and got a standing ovation.
I'll Never Use a Switch Again
11/21/2014 6:19 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Adrian Peterson is finally speaking out -- saying he's a changed man and vows to never hit any of his children with a switch again ... in what seems like an obvious ploy to appease NFL commish Roger Goodell.
The NFL star just gave an interview with USA Today, essentially saying he now understands why people are upset at the way he disciplined his 4-year-old son ... and that he feels terrible about it.
"There's different situations where a child needs to be disciplined as far as timeout, taking their toys away, making them take a nap. There's so many different ways to discipline your kids."
He added, "No one knows how I felt when I turned my child around after spanking him and seeing what I had left on his leg. No one knows that dad sat there and apologized to him, hugged him and told him that I didn't mean to do this to you and how sorry I was."
"I love my son. I love my kids, my family. Like I said after I took the misdemeanor plea, I take full responsibility for my actions. I regret the situation. I love my son more than any one of you could even imagine."
The timing of the interview is VERY curious ... considering NFL commish Roger Goodell just ripped Peterson in a letter for having shown "no meaningful remorse" since the incident.
In a letter, which Goodell made public, the NFL commish explained why he banned AP for the rest of the season without pay.
Goodell continued ... "You also said that you felt ‘very confident with my actions because I know my intent.’ These comments raise the serious concern that you do not fully appreciate the seriousness of your conduct, or even worse, that you may feel free to engage in similar conduct in the future.”
So, the question now ... you buyin' AP's new stance? Or is it just lip service to try and get back on Roger's good side?
Fires Back At Eminem
I'm 'Bored' Of Your Rape Threats
11/21/2014 6:59 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Iggy Azalea is beefing with ANOTHER huge rapper -- blasting Eminem for saying he's going to rape her in a new rap song.
Em went after Azalea in a track called "Vegas" from his upcoming album ... saying:
"So, what’s it gon’ be?
Put that sh-t away, Iggy
You gon’ blow that rape whistle on me ... scream!"
Clearly, Iggy wasn't too happy about the lyrics and fired back on Twitter:
"Im bored of the old men threatening young women as entertainment trend and much more interested in the young women getting $ trend. zzzz"
She continued, "Its especially akward because my 14 year old brother is the biggest eminem fan and now the artist he admired says he wants to rape me. nice!"
"Women in music have the bigger balls anyhow we endure much more harassment and critic."
It's interesting ... considering Iggy just wrapped up another huge rap war with Snoop ... who called her a "b*tch" and a "c**t."
Snoop eventually apologized. So far, Eminem has yet to respond to Iggy's comments.
'I'm Not Gay No More' Guy
Church Threatens Legal Action
11/21/2014 12:50 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
The Church of God in Christ insists Andrew Caldwell call in the lawyers ... because their now-famous parishioner jazzed up his hilarious moment with background singers and released it on iTunes.
A church honcho says they're ordering him to stop hawking the song partly because they own the audio, but also because they feel Andrew is making a mockery of the service ... and that's hilarious.
But Andrew's calling BS, telling TMZ he's copyrighted the song ... and says it's his voice and only he -- not even God -- can claim ownership of it.
So maybe the dispute will be settled by a higher power -- Judge Judy.
Yeah, I Took Brooke Shields' Virginity
11/21/2014 12:40 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Dean Cain says Brooke Shields is right on the money when she says she was deflowered by Superman and was so flummoxed by the experience she ran screaming down the hall naked.
Our photog got Dean at LAX Wednesday ... and asked about Brooke's new book in which she describes in great detail losing her virginity to him.
Dean's a gentleman and is cautious at first -- not having read the book -- but when our guy told him Brooke had good things to say, he was down with the whole story.
BTW ... our guy referred to it as her "experience" with Dean, and he made it clear ... they had a whole lot more than an experience.
'Ink Master' Contestant
I Colored My BF's Eye Black
And Got Busted
11/21/2014 12:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
"Ink Master" contestant Madison "Maddie la Belle" Loftis tattooed her boyfriend, but not with ink ... with her fists, and she ended up in the slammer.
Maddie -- who appeared on Season 3 -- tells TMZ she got into a fight that started with words and ended with fists. She says it was mutual combat, but she's the one who called the cops.
Greensboro cops tell us when they arrived Maddie was fine, but her boyfriend had a swollen eye.
Maddie's man didn't want to press charges, but North Carolina requires cops to arrest someone who inflicts injury during a domestic fight ... so she got busted for misdemeanor assault and battery.
Maddie says all is forgiven and they're back together.
As for whether she would punch him again, Maddie told us, "Every day, all day."
Guess Who This Sharp
11/21/2014 12:20 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Before this mini Miami Vice kid was lookin' stylish is Hollywood he was just another kid looking "cool" in Cincinnati, Ohio. Can you guess who he is?
'Party Down South' Star
Drinking And Driving
... It's Sorta My Thing
11/21/2014 12:10 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
The cast of "Party Down South" has a love for booze in mass quantities ... and they've racked up another in a long list of DUIs.
PDS star Josh Murray was pulled over in Rankin County, Mississippi early Saturday. He flunked the field sobriety test and went to jail for DUI and driving with a suspended license.
It's the second time Josh has been popped for DUI. He faces jail time, and license suspension for 2 years.
PDS has a rich history of alcohol-related hijinks. Mattie Breaux was busted for DUI earlier this year, Ryan Richards bonged an entire bottle of Jägermeister, and Lyle Boudreaux allegedly stole a credit card so he could keep his binge on during Mardi Gras.
The good news ... at least nobody pissed themselves this time.
Actress Louisa Moritz
Cosby Forced Oral Sex
During Carson Appearance
11/20/2014 5:02 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF
An actress who played Rose in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and starred in the '70s show "Love American Style" claims Bill Cosby stuck his penis in her mouth in her dressing room before an appearance on Johnny Carson's "Tonight Show."
68-year-old Louisa Moritz tells TMZ ... she was at the NBC studios in New York in 1971, waiting in the green room for her appearance on the show. She says there was a knock at the door, and it was Cosby, who she says walked in and said he was impressed with her work and "implied that he was going to see to it that I will become a major star through his direction."
Moritz -- who also played a cop in Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke" -- says Cosby "suddenly approached me and took out his penis, which was now in the line of my face [she's 5'0"] and pressed up against it."
She goes on, "He took his hands and put them on the back of my head and forced his penis in my mouth, saying, 'Have a taste of this. It will do you good in so many ways.'"
She says as Cosby walked out he turned and said, "Now you don't want to upset me and the plans for your future, do you?"
Moritz says she never told anyone, until now. She says although the statute of limitations has run out, she intends to file a civil lawsuit against Cosby.
Cosby's lawyer, Marty Singer, tells TMZ ... "We've reached a point of absurdity. The stories are getting more ridiculous." Singer adds, "Mortiz is a lawyer who was disciplined by the California State Bar and ordered not to practice." We pulled the documents -- she can't practice because she didn't report certain quarterly reports ... the nature of the reports is unclear from the documents.
In other news...
This is how you're used to seeing Gwyneth Paltrow today, but you probably forget what she looked like over 15 years ago!
Busted for Stalking [Update]
11/20/2014 6:08 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF
The famous "pregnant man" Thomas Beatie was arrested Thursday for felony stalking -- according to cops, he's engaged in some major spy games to track an ex over the last couple years.
Beatie was taken into custody by Phoenix police officers around 11:30 AM. He's currently being held in Maricopa County Jail without bail on one charge of stalking an ex -- at this point, it's unclear if it's an ex-girlfriend or his estranged wife.
Cops say the alleged victim found a GPS device hidden in her car ... and told Phoenix PD she suspected Beatie put it there. When detectives contacted him, they say Beatie admitted putting the device there 2 years ago ... and even said he'd replaced the battery in the unit several times.
Earlier this year, Thomas accused his estranged wife, Nancy, of verbally assaulting him and his new girlfriend ... and a judge issued a restraining order.
We called Nancy ... and she would not confirm or deny she's the woman Beatie allegedly tagged with the GPS.
Boxes Ex-NFL Badass ...
Gets BLACK EYE
11/20/2014 3:15 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Armie Hammer thinks he's such a badass boxer ... he dared to step in the ring against a former NFL linebacker whose nickname was "Lights Out" -- which explains the shiner on Armie's eye.
TMZ Sports got this shot of Armie's bruised face after his sparring match with ex-Chargers star Shawne Merriman -- who's 6'4" and 280 lbs! Nonetheless, we're told Hammer's the one who sought out Merriman as a sparring partner.
The bout went down Wednesday at Unbreakable Performance -- a new gym on the Sunset Strip owned and run by ex-Bears star Brian Urlacher and Jay Glazer from FOX Sports. We're told Armie's been training with Glazer for several months ... and word is everyone in the gym was stoked Armie wanted to challenge Shawne.
We're guessing Armie's agent isn't so stoked about his swollen face -- which makes it even cooler he's doing it. Can't wait for the rematch!
In other news...
Naya Rivera's alleged transformation into Kim Kardashian left her looking like THIS in New York City.SEE MORE »
Thinks We're Soulmates
11/20/2014 3:06 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Ryan Gosling just got a restraining order against a woman he says has been stalking him for 3 months because she believes she's his "twin flame."
According to legal docs -- obtained by TMZ -- Gosling says Grace Marie Del Villar has been sending harassing emails and packages ... in one case she sent a torn-out page from a magazine featuring Eva Mendes and stapled a copy of her contact info to the page.
She has also bombarded the inbox of Ryan's sister with messages, saying, "I am kicking your brother's head."
The tipping point came on Oct. 28th, when Del Villar traveled from NYC to L.A. and showed up at Gosling's family residence, rang the security gate and said she was "Ryan's twin." She left a doll catalog at the gate.
She's ordered to stay 100 yards away from Ryan, Eva, and their daughter Esmeralda.
His sister Mandi also got a restraining order against the stalker.
I Call All My Friends N Word
Even White Chicks
11/20/2014 1:55 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Marlon Wayans has just filed legal docs defending an Instagram post in which he called an extra from his movie "Haunted House 2" a n**** and a Cleveland lookalike ... saying the N-word is a term of endearment, and the dude DOES look like Cleveland.
Marlon says in the docs -- obtained by TMZ -- he grew up in the projects of NYC, where black men and women frequently used the N-word (with both an "a" and an "r") as a colloquial term of camaraderie.
Wayans says he doesn't restrict use of the word to his black friends, bragging in his declaration he calls his "Haunted House 2" co-star Jaime Pressly the N-word too. And get this ... Jaime filed her own declaration saying, "Mr. Wayans has addressed me as n**** in the past and frequently uses it as a term of endearment with his friends and family."
As for the photo that triggered the lawsuit ... Marlon says it's ridiculous. Pierre Daniel posed for the pic and even has a scene in the movie where he's referred to as Cleveland.
So separated at birth.