Celebrity Divorce

It's over as fast as it started ... Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif have settled their divorce ... TMZ has learned.

As you know ... the 2 were locked in a battle royale ... restraining orders, vicious accusations and a lot of bad blood.

But in a joint statement obtained by TMZ, Paul and Adrienne say, "We're happy to announce we have reached agreement on a settlement," adding they are both pleased.

They go on, "There has been so much untrue negative innuendo and destructive rumors beyond our control ..."

In the statement, which we got from their rep, Jim Yeager, Adrienne and Paul say, "We want the best for each other and we're confident we can help each other make a continuing positive impact with our children."

They go on, "Our goal is for our children to have stable and nurturing relationships with both of us so we can all find as much happiness as possible."

They end with this ... "We appreciate the good wishes we continue to receive from our supporters around the world."

It's still too early to call ... but it looks like Roseanne will NOT be the next President of the United States ... and her ex-husband Tom Arnold is partly to blame.

Of course, Roseanne claims to be a serious candidate to be the next leader of the free world ... running as the nominee of the Peace and Freedom Party.

In case you haven't followed her campaign, here's a summary -- she hates both Democrats and Republicans and REAAALLLLLY wants to legalize marijuana. That's pretty much it.

But her ex-hubby Tom Arnold tells TMZ ... she just hasn't earned his vote -- saying, "I'm voting for Obama, but for God's sake let Roseanne have her pot ... she's 60."

REMINDER -- Don't forget to vote today ... or Sophia Bush will be ashamed of you.

6:30 AM PT -- Roseanne isn't getting much help from her old castmates either.

Rumors be damned ... a frustrated Joe Simpson is telling friends and colleagues the stories that he's switched teams are absurd.

There have been several reports out recently that Joe has told his family he's gay and that's why his marriage fell apart. There are also reports about several guys he's rumored to be dating/hooking up with.

The people we spoke with are split -- some believe him, and some think he's just not ready to come out publicly.

So we gotta ask ...

Mexican pop star Paulina Rubio is sick and tired of supporting her estranged husband -- and has now filed docs asking a judge to ORDER him to get off his lazy ass and find a job ... TMZ has learned.

Paulina's husband Nicolas Vallejo-Nagera filed for divorce earlier this year and requested alimony -- but Rubio now says that's BS, claiming Nick is "perfectly capable of self-support" and should be forced to find a job to pay his own damn bills.

Paulina -- who was just sued this week for allegedly beating her assistant -- insists there's no excuse for Nicolas' laziness, claiming he is "a young, bi-lingual, highly intelligent and educated man, with degrees in business, and is physically active and healthy."

She adds, "He has had his own businesses in the past; however, he has not sought gainful employment since he began living with his wife."

Paulina wants a judge to order Nicolas to find a job, as well as pay Paulina's attorneys' fees. BTW, the divorce is still in play and the judge has not ordered Paulina to pay any support -- yet -- but she wants to nip this one in the bud.

It's been 3 years since Tiger Woods' ex-wife Elin Nordegren smashed his SUV with a golf club -- over a massive cheating scandal that derailed his life -- and now, Tiger's finally starting to rebuild ... starting with the Florida mansion where it all went downhill.

Construction is already underway at Tiger's Windermere home -- the same home where Tiger famously crashed his SUV following a blowout argument with Elin over his endless philandering ... and Elin attacked the car with a freakin' golf club.

Neighborhood sources tell TMZ, Tiger's uprooting the pool and replacing it with a brand new outdoor swimming facility. We're told he's also adding a new deck in the backyard, as well as a new spa.

Tiger has already obtained the requisite legal docs to commence building.

It's unclear if Tiger's renovating the home for his own personal enjoyment, or whether he plans to sell the place.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have taken NO steps to end their marriage ... TMZ has learned.

Sources connected with the couple tell us ... neither Ashton nor Demi have given their lawyers any indication they want to file for divorce.

We're also told -- contrary to several reports -- Demi and Ashton are not haggling over money and who gets what. There have been NO discussions about dividing assets.

It's unclear why neither of them has gotten off the dime to end their marriage -- but they haven't.

Ashton and Demi separated in November, 2011. They were together as a married couple for 6 years.

Trying not to make eye contact, former couple Katy Perry and Russell Brand sat on opposite sides of the court at the Lakers game at Staples Center in L.A. on Tuesday.

Both Katy and Russell -- who divorced earlier this year -- employed one of the hardest acting techniques known to man ... pretending it's not awkward when you run into your ex.

At least they can agree on which team to root for.

Avril Lavigne's ex-husband ... JUST GOT OWNED BY THE GUY FROM NICKELBACK!!!

Here's what happened -- Deryck Whibley and his hot GF Ari Cooper went to a Halloween party this weekend dressed up as Avril and her new fiance Chad Kroeger.

Deryck was Avril ... Ari was Chad ... it's sorta funny, but kinda weird ... and a photo of the cross-dressing couple made it to Twitter (see above).

Now for the good part -- Chad Kroeger saw the pic and responded on his Twitter page with the following message:

Former NFL star Chad Johnson may once again be able to communicate with his ex-wife Evelyn Lozada -- after allegedly head-butting her -- because Evelyn plans to let the no-contact order against him expire.

Sources close to the ex-couple tell TMZ, Chad's on track to finish his batterer's intervention program in the next couple months -- at which point Chad will ask the judge to terminate his probation and lift the no-contact order.

If that happens, Evelyn would have to get a civil restraining order to keep Chad away -- but we're told she has decided NOT to do that ... because she just wants to "move on."

Chad was sentenced to one year probation and the batterer's class after pleading "no contest" to domestic battery following the August 11 fight with Evelyn -- but since he's completing the class early ... the judge can also lift the probation early.

Erin Brockovich's husband has filed for divorce, TMZ has learned.

Eric Ellis just filed the docs in L.A. County Superior Court, citing "irreconcilable differences." The couple was married in 1999. They have no minor children. A date of separation is not listed.

Eric wants spousal support, and doesn't want to pay Erin a penny. He's her third husband.

In case you don't know -- even though you should -- Erin was the subject of a 2000 biographical film named after her, starring Julia Roberts.

Erin was instrumental in constructing a case against Pacific Gas & Electric energy company in California in 1993 -- which allegedly tried to hide evidence of mass chemical contamination in a neighboring town. The case resulted in a $333 million settlement.

Just days after news broke of the demise of his marriage, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson's newly single father Joe Simpson was spotted out in L.A. on Thursday sporting a much more, er, youthful look.

Doing his best Ellen DeGeneres impersonation, the 54-year-old rocked blonder highlighted locks, a fitted yellow sweater, black skinny jeans and matchy matchy spiffy kicks.

As TMZ reported, Joe's wife Tina Simpson filed for divorce last month -- after being legally hitched for 34 years -- claiming their marriage has become "insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities."

Tom Cruise just filed a $50 million lawsuit against Life & Style and In Touch magazines, claiming the mags defamed him by reporting he had abandoned 6-year-old Suri.

In the lawsuit, filed in L.A. federal court, Tom takes issue with the July 30th cover of Life & Style, which reads, "SURI IN TEARS, ABANDONED BY HER DAD" -- as well as the October 1st cover of In Touch, which shows a picture of Suri above the headline, "ABANDONED BY DADDY."

According to the suit, Tom claims the mags' headlines are FALSE -- insisting, he "loves his daughter dearly and would never abandon her."

Tom is suing for $50 million plus punitive damages for defamation and invasion of privacy.

In Touch and Life & Style are sister magazines owned by the same publishing company Bauer Publishing.

Cruise's lawyer, Bert Fields says:

"Tom is a caring father who dearly loves Suri. She's a vital part of his life and always will be. To say he has 'abandoned' her is a vicious lie. To say it in lurid headlines with a tearful picture of Suri is reprehensible."

Fields goes on: "Tom doesn't go around suing people. He's not a litigious guy. But when these sleaze peddlers try to make money with disgusting lies about his relationship with his child, you bet he's going to sue."

Fields goes on to bash the mags, saying, "These serial defamers are foreign owned companies with their global headquarters in Hamburg. They take money from unsuspecting Americans by selling their malicious garbage. Having to pay a libel judgment may slow them down."

Fields says any money Tom gets from the mags will go to charity.

We haven't heard back from the Romney campaign office -- however Mitt's attorney was quoted about the Stemberg divorce in Time magazine, saying ... “This is a decades-old divorce case in which Mitt Romney provided testimony as to the value of a company. He has no objection to letting the public see that testimony.”

9:49 AM PT -- A rep for Tom Stemberg also released a statement ... saying, "Over the past several years, the judge in this case has made it very clear that the gag order imposed should not be violated. We have never violated this order and will continue to adhere to the court’s ruling on this case."

Mitt Romney LIED under oath when he testified in the divorce of his good friend and screwed the friend's wife out of a lot of money in the process ... so claims the ex-wife of Staples' founder Tom Stemberg.

Multiple sources connected with the divorce tell TMZ ... during Tom's uber nasty divorce case with ex-wife Maureen, Mitt Romney gave a deposition and testified during the trial that Staples was worth virtually nothing. Romney testified that the company was worth very little and Tom was a dreamer and "the dream continues."

Romney characterized the Staples stock as "overvalued," adding, "I didn't place a great deal of credibility in the forecast of the company's future."

Partly as a result of Romney's testimony, Maureen got relatively little in the divorce, but we're told just weeks after the divorce ended, Romney and Tom went to Goldman Sachs and cashed in THEIR stock for a fortune. Short story -- Romney allegedly lied to help his friend and screw the friend's wife over.

And there's more ... Our sources say years later, Maureen, who suffered from MS and had multiple bouts with cancer, got a visit from one of Tom's guys, who gave her papers informing her that Tom was cancelling her health insurance. Our sources say the irony here is that we're told Tom was working as one of then Governor Mitt Romney's chief health care advisers.

Sources tell us ... Tom also got custody of the couple's one child, making allegations of abuse against Maureen. And get this ... in the mid-90s, after the divorce, Tom sent the boy a letter saying, although he loved him, because of issues related to the divorce "it will not be possible for you to be a part of our family for the foreseeable future."

Jessica Simpson's mother Tina has filed for divorce from Jessica's dad Joe.

Tina filed the papers in Texas last month, claiming, "The marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities."

Tina and Joe were married in 1978. They have no minor children.

In the docs, obtained by TMZ, Tina claims she has separate property from Joe and wants to keep it. It's unclear what that property is.

In the county where Tina filed, there are specific rules about how divorcing spouses have to behave toward each other during proceedings -- they can't curse at each other, harass each other over the phone, or physically attack each other ... basically they HAVE to act like civilized adults.

If one spouse violates the rules, they could be found in contempt of court.

Joe filed a response to Tina's divorce petition days later, insisting Tina get nothing from the split.

Joe and Tina both played a pivotal role in turning their daughters Jessica and Ashlee into pop superstars.

A rep for the family just released a statement, saying, "It is an amicable split and there is no third party involved. Any other related allegations are completely false. The family appreciates your respect for their privacy at this time."

6:45AM PT Gloria Allred is in court in Boston and she is representing Maureen Sullivan Stemberg (below). We just got the details about Romney's testimony in the Stemberg divorce. Click here to read it.

7:30AM PT The court hearing where the Boston Globe is asking a judge to unseal Stemberg divorce documents -- including Romney's testimony -- has been continued until Thursday morning. We're waiting to see if Allred comments on the case.

8:05AM PT Gloria and Maureen walked out of court. They did not comment.

Mitt Romney was heavily involved in the extremely messy divorce of one of his key supporters ... and the Boston Globe is going to court first thing Wednesday morning in an attempt to unseal the court file as well as lift a gag order ... TMZ has learned.

The divorce was between Staples co-founder Tom Stemberg and his first wife Maureen. We're told the divorce battle lasted for years and was extremely ugly.

Sources tell us Romney gave both a deposition in the divorce and testified in the trial. According to our sources, the Boston Globe got a tip that there was "juicy information about Romney" in the sealed documents.

Romney, Stemberg and Maureen were all served papers by the Globe notifying them that the paper was trying to unseal the case and lift the gag order enforced on all parties.

According to an article in the Boston Globe in 2005, Maureen received nearly 500,000 shares of Staples stock in the divorce ... but sold half her shares before the company went public.

Stemberg and Romney's business ties go deep. Bain Capital helped launch Staples ... widely seen as the first big success for Romney's venture capital company -- and Romney sat on Staples' board of directors for many years.

Our sources say Tom has filed papers opposing the Globe's motion. Romney's lawyers have not responded.

Tom has been a major Romney supporter, even speaking for five minutes at the Republican National Convention.

We're told Gloria Allred represents someone connected with the divorce and we believe -- though we have not confirmed it -- that is Maureen.

Eva Longoria has a nasty red blotch on the back of her neck -- and she's probably THRILLED about it ... 'cause it used to be a tattoo of her ex-husband's basketball jersey number.

Back in January, Longoria began laser treatments to erase 3 Tony Parker-inspired tats -- the "NINE" tattoo ... the wedding date tattoo on her wrist ... and Tony's initials (which were put on a very private, undisclosed location).

Tattoo removal doesn't happen overnight -- it takes multiple sessions, which have to be spaced out over several months.