Fashion

Joey Lawrence turned up at an event in New York on Wednesday, coiffed within an inch of his muscly, manscaped life! Gimme a break!

With his spraytanned skin, uber-waxed brows, Posh-age shades, Madonna-inspired rosary, cleavage-baring top in size XSmedium -- ever-so nonchalantly semi-tucked into his white-belted premium denim -- Joey looks like a bald wannabe Gotti brother in a "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" science project!

Whoa, is right!

Dressed like a total poshtitute in what appears to be a botched tuxedo/racing ensemble, Victoria Beckham somehow took home the Woman of the Year crown at the Glamour Magazine awards last night. Say whaaaat?!

Though Mrs. Beckham was touted by the mag's editor as "a role model" and "indicative of the modern woman," Beckham's only recent accomplishments appear to be constantly looking hungry and pissed-off, and shtupping one of the sexiest men in the world. Role model indeed ... for automatons and streetwalkers!

Other "glamorous" women honored at the event included Sienna Miller -- who said she had too much wine to make a speech -- and the musical group Girls Aloud (think Pussycat Dolls with British accents). What, Jordan wasn't available? The ceremony was somewhat redeemed by also giving awards to Angelina Jolie (yes, Posh beat Angie for the highest honors), Beyoncé and Helen Mirren -- though none of them showed up to receive the, er, honor.

Who knew sexy Jessica Alba wore clothes?!

The "Fantastic Four" star went on a major shopping binge in Beverly Hills last week, stocking up on some hot summer gear. During her shopping extravaganza, Alba hit up trendy Harmony Lane boutique twice and charged up ten dresses and five tops in size XS. Betch! Jess also picked up some Insititute Liberal shrugs and a bunch of Vita bracelets and J.Rae necklaces. In total, the 26-year-old dropped over $4,300 -- and even came back to shop with her parents! Look what I bought, mommy!

We're told Alba was looking for outfits for her upcoming summer travel with boyfriend Cash Warren, aka the luckiest former production assistant in the world!

She may be stylin' with her latest finds, but hopefully Jess realizes all anyone really wants to see her wearing is -- absolutely nothing!

TMZ has learned that Jen hit Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills and dropped over a thousand bucks on three Kaloo plush toys for the little newborn. A well-placed source tells us the 38-year-old left a note to include with the gifts that read: "Dear Wyatt, Welcome to the World! xxoo Jen." Awww!

Miss Aniston needn't worry; advancements in fertility should give her plenty of time to decide if she wants to conceive a lil' friend of her very own!

After presenting at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday, Victoria Beckham dined at Nobu -- well, she was there -- no word on whether she actually ate anything -- in an outfit more appropriate for Hollywood Blvd. than Malibu! Need a date?

Apparently, Posh enjoys selling as much as buying!

Ash, wearing some type of optical device that looks like it was devised for Helen Keller, was carrying a massive alligatorish bag -- which might just be the carrying case for her crazazy sunglasses.

Afterwards, Ashley went to her mah-jongg game and brought her fabulous homemade kugel. Such a doll that one!

Legendary rap star and hockey enthusiast Snoop Doggy Dogg dipped into his 'stache stash last night, in an effort to stay under the radar at the Stanley Cup Finals in Anaheim. Somehow, despite the incredibly convincing disguise, he stood out from the crowd.

Maybe it's because summer is right around the corner. Maybe it's because they want to show the world what close friends they are. Whatever their reason, yellow was the answer to all of yesterday's questions.

The BFFs shopped around Beverly Hills boutiques on Wednesday, toting ginormous matching handbags and goggle sunglasses. Rumer was sporting a perky and more Demi-Moore-ish haircut. On the sidewalk, they were not toppled by the weight of their purses, and even managed to thrown in some giggles for gawkers.

With her Gap jeans and Sketchers sneakers nowhere to be found, "American Idol's" Jordin Sparks is being tweezed, waxed and flat-ironed into her Badgley Mischka gowns! After all, "American Idols" aren't born -- they're made!!

The high-end designers have outfitted the gorgeous 17-year-old for tonight's finale, making it the first time a world renowned couture house has custom-made ensembles for an "A.I." finale. Good thing Melinda Doolittle was cut -- Badgley Mischka gowns don't come in neckless!

Last night's show also featured Jordin wearing a slimming black and green mini-dress by Poppie Couture (pictured here), which designer/stylist Poppie Harris handbeaded herself. And to think, just last month, Jordin was buying Nicole Miller dresses off the rack at Bloomingdales. Quelle Horreur!

My Blankee has sent a half dozen of the plush 30" x 35" hypoallergenic blankets to the fashionista felon in hopes of making her stay at the Prison Hilton a little more tolerable. Or she can tie them together and try to escape!

While we're told the blankees are a hit with children of celebs like Tori Spelling and Gwen Stefani, Paris will be the first incarcerated A-lister (?) to cuddle with the $66 security blanket. That's hot!

With tonight's season finale, "Heroes" star Hayden Panettiere is hanging up her cheerleading uniform -- at least for the summer!

But it looks like the 17-year-old won't be lacking any outfits. TMZ has learned that on a recent retail blitz at trendy Beverly Hills boutique Harmony Lane, Hayden dropped over $2000 on dresses, tops and jewelry. Save the aggravation. Save the receipt!

Sources tell TMZ the underage beauty spent over an hour picking out items like a sexy $289 Voom Butterfly dress, a plush $289 Deborah Lindquist cashmere skull cardigan and $84 Vita bracelets/necklaces. Even superheroes like to accessorize! We're told Hayden kept talking about how excited she was to be a part of the hit show and how the whole cast goofs around a lot on set. Saving the world from total destruction can be such a pissah!

Lance isn't the only celeb who's adding this trendy bling to his look. "American Idol" judges Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul are also fans of the flashy razor pendant.

Cheaper versions exist, but these bladin' stars won't have anything but the cutting edge best!

Tragic party girl Tara Reid managed to pull it together, and dare we say, actually looked good last night. Has anyone seen a flying pig?

The former actress arrived to the Music Video Production Awards in Los Angeles, glammed out in an elegant navy dress and simple ponytail. Has Tara finally learned that less is more?! And by that, we don't mean flashing her mangled stomach -- or her American pie!

Maybe now she'll be able to get into Hyde. Maybe.

Somewhere between the red carpet and the inside bar at Maxim's Hot 100 party in New York on Wednesday, Linds took off her form-fitting Rainbow Bright/Mariah Carey-inspired mini dress and slipped into yet another (even shorter) Vegas showgirl/Mariah Carey-inspired blue/black glittery nightie dress. So many outfits, so little time!

While she may have switched frocks midway through her latest club crawl, as far as we can tell, she came and left with the same guy -- dude du jour, Calum Best. Luckily for LiLo, tomorrow is another day.

Redfreckles.com is selling these hot pink bracelets inscribed with "Paris is my cell mate" for a measly $5. That's hot!

"The heiress has been a loyal customer of Red Freckles and we want to show our love and support for her during this most difficult and trying time," says Red Freckles Founder and CEO, Lisa Shulman, who is donating a portion of the proceeds to MADD. Red Freckle's celebrity clientele also includes Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes and Alicia Keys.

Seafaring fashion designer John Galliano posed with two treasures, Penelope Cruz and Charlize Theron, at his Christian Dior Cruise Fashion Show on Monday in New York. Ahoy, mateys!

Hidden inside a gorgeous Cruz and Theron LBD sandwich, one almost fails to notice that the over-the-top couture king looks like he was styled by Captain Jack Sparrow. Arrrgggh!

Although Penelope and Charlize co-starred in the film, Johnny G.'s the one with his "Head in the Clouds."