Hot Bodies

Got a little sand on your perfectly-toned butt? No problem. Just ring that little bell and your loyal butt-washing attendant will be right over ... carrying a gleaming silver pail filled with Fiji water just to de-sand your perky cheeks.

Just one requirement: you must be Victoria's Secret Angel Candice Swanepoel ... who proudly showed off the ridiculous ass-splashing service she got during a recent photo shoot in St. Barths.

FYI -- we were joking about the Fiji part ... but La Toya wasn't.

Jessica reportedly has a tiny person growing inside of her, but has yet to confirm a pregnancy.

But on Saturday she showed up to Zach Braff's mansion -- where the wedding was held -- in this kind-of-poofy black dress ... which CONVENIENTLY covered her stomach (aka her baby incubator).

"Shahs of Sunset" participant Mercedes Javid has got it -- and ain't afraid to flaunt it ... which is cool since we know she has at least one huge fan, right in our own office. We love ya, MJ!

"Shahs of Sunset" buxom party girl Mercedes "MJ" Javid poured her voluptuous curves into a terrified purple animal print bikini and soaked her smooth womanly flesh under the sun in Santa Barbara this weekend.

"Top Chef" host Padma Lakshmi proved she can stomach a lot more than just a meal ... and showed off her pipin' hot bod in a baby blue bikini in Miami this weekend.

Scrumptious.

L.A. Dodgers pitcher Josh Beckett got the paddle from his smokin' hot bikini-clad wife in Maui this weekend.

With his wife Holly at the helm of a stand up paddle board, Josh sat back and enjoyed the ride.

Sofia Vergara is filming a new movie that's revealing a lot more of the "Modern Family" star than we're used to seeing ... by having her flaunt her God given talents in sexy black lingerie.

The gorgeous 40-year-old showed off her beautiful unmentionables on the set of "Fading Gigolo" in NYC on Friday.

Remember when Kat Von D vowed to NEVER remove her tattoo of Jesse James' face even though they broke up?? 'Memba that? Well ... she just changed her mind.

Kat just posted a photo showing a laser beam blasting away at the portrait of a young Jesse that Kat had inked on to her rib cage back when they were dating.

When they broke up last year, Kat told us the tat had "a lot of meaning" ... and she wanted to keep it to preserve the memory.

But Kat has obviously had a change of heart ... and paid a visit to Dr. Tattoff. She also tweeted, "AND SO IT BEGINS! First round of tattoo removal well underway! :)"

No word on why Kat changed her mind ... but we're guessing a giant portrait of the ex-boyfriend doesn't sit well with the current boyfriend.

Looking like your average suburban father heading to the mall on a Saturday, the 30-year-old Duke of Cambridge rocked a comfortable baggy sweater, worn in easy fit khakis, dark dress socks and a pair of sensible walking shoes as he made his way to King George VII hospital in London today -- where Kate is being treated for severe morning sickness.

Israeli supermodel Bar Refaeli just tweeted this photo of her ass ... because she felt like it.

Happy early Hanukkah everyone!

Derek Jeter's had a very full off-season -- 'cause the Yankees superstar is busy nursing a broken ankle, and apparently ... twins! Suddenly, dude's stats aren't all that's fat.

Face it, supermodels like Alessandra Ambrosio are just like the rest of us -- because they buy toilet paper just like us, and maybe ... possibly even poop just like us! We know ... shocking.

Model SueLyn Medeiros -- famous for her bootylicious DUI arrest last year -- wasn't taking any risks while toasting her buns in the Bahamas yesterday ... preserving her perfect assets with some SPF daaaaaayum.

Here's club kingpin Jeff Beacher in the new billboard for his Hollywood hotspot Beacher's Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel -- and David Beckham in his infamous H&M underwear ad.

Both are larger than life.

The question is...

Hold the phone -- here's 25-year-old Victoria's Secret model Maryna Linchuk squeezing her smoking hot lady bits into a skimpy pink bikini yesterday in Miami.

We hear it's snowing somewhere right now.