Nurse!

To control birth rates, Maasai pastoralists in the Great Rift Valley of Kenya place a leather contraption called an olor on a billy goat to block its genitals from mounting the nanny goat.

Casey Aldridge and Levi Johnston could learn a thing or two from animal husbandry.

The translucent 39-year-old hit the beach in Maui this weekend with a considerably tanner mystery babe.

Looks like the records of sports stars are just as popular as the records of pop stars ... at least among doctors and nurses.

Twenty hospital workers, including nurses, admissions workers and patient relations staff have been fired this week -- accused of illegally accessing and passing around medical records of Jacksonville Jaguars' Richard Collier, according to News4JAX.

Collier was shot 14 times in September after a gunman walked up to his SUV as he waited outside an apartment complex. He was paralyzed from the waist down and one of his legs had to be amputated.

We're just sayin'.

Isiah Thomas might claim he wasn't the reason a 911 call came from his house, but the proof ain't in the police pudding.

An incident report from the scene says the ex-Knicks prez was "sprawled on the kitchen floor" and had to have oxygen administered until medics arrived, reports the Daily News. He was then taken to White Plains Hospital Center for further medical center.

Believe it or not, the 27-year-old Victoria's Secret model had her superbaby just nine weeks ago.

TMZ has learned Julianne Hough will announce tomorrow the ailment that sent her to the emergency room last week was more than a stomach ache -- it's an ovarian cyst.

We're told she will have surgery to remove the cyst and that she'll have her appendix taken out at the same time (unrelated to the cyst).

No word on when the surgery will take place or if Julianne will remain on the show this season.

UPDATE: Julianne's official site now says: "Julianne Hough, Mercury Nashville recording artist and two time 'Dancing with the Stars' champion has been diagnosed with Endometriosis and will be undergoing minor surgery to remove her appendix. Hough experienced mild stomach pains last week and was taken to Cedars Sinai medical center. After consulting with her doctor, this course of treatment was recommended. Hough will address the surgery on Monday night's 'Dancing with the Stars' where she'll perform with celebrity partner Cody Linley.

Actually, it's gorgeous 42-year-old Cindy Crawford in Wino drag for Kate Hudson's Halloween party this weekend.

Yep, it's the night of the living dead, all right.

Here's the 20-year-old Somalian beauty at the beginning of her career in 1975 (left) -- and the 53-year-old version at a NYC event on Thursday (right).

Apparently, aging is not in this season.

More Good Genes or Good Docs:

Neither one was attacked by a large, dark-skinned Obama supporter.

We're just sayin'.

An ambulance was sent early this morning to the home of ex New York Knicks president Isiah Thomas after an apparent accidental overdose of prescription sleeping pills.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Thomas was taken to White Plains Hospital and is still there right now. His condition is unknown, but he is alive. The Daily News says he took 10 prescription sleeping pills.

A spokesman for Madison Square Garden says Thomas is "fine."

UPDATE, 4:54 PM: The Harrison Chief of Police tells TMZ when officers arrived on scene they found a "46-year-old male" on the floor around midnight last night breathing on his own, and they administered oxygen to him.

Chief Hall actually laughed when we asked him why Isiah would tell the New York Post it was his daughter who was the victim, not him. "Well if that's what he wants to tell you guys," he said.

According to WJLA, when the 911 operator questioned Joe's misuse of the emergency only service, the 66-year-old barked "F*** you" and hung up. The annoyed operator called back the number that placed the call and got Joe's voice mail, which included an endorsement to elect his brother.

No word on what caused the highway congestion.

UPDATE: Brother Joe called into a local radio station, WTOP, to apologize for the whole thing. Click to listen.

If Hannibal Lecter opened a restaurant, would you go?

Mr. Gay UK, real name Anthony Morley, was convicted for killing his lover and eating part of his flesh. According to the Daily Star, he is going to serve as a consultant for a friend's new restaurant. Pass the liver!

Morley, a former chef, will offer food consultations during his pal's weekly prison visits. Morley will design the menu and give him cooking tips.

Britney Spears has a neighbor in 5150 City: Michael Madsen, aka Mr. Blonde.

We've learned Madsen was taken away from his home by L.A. Sheriff's deputies Monday around 2:00 PM after a family member in the house became alarmed by his crazy behavior. Cops responded and carted him off to the hospital on a 5150 hold.