UFC

First order of business ... turn my bedroom door into a Gucci shrine!!!

We'd say it looks lame ... but Rampage is really strong.

UFC heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez didn't let a busted face stop him from celebrating his victory last night -- the guy partied hard, bandages and all.

Cain and his crew hit up a club called The Mark in Houston, TX following Cain's epic win over top contender Junior Dos Santos at UFC 166 -- and despite the injuries, Cain kept a smile on his face.

In case you missed it, it was an awesome match. Velasquez eventually won out with a brutal TKO in the 5th round, but not without taking some damage himself.

UFC newbie Andre "Touchy" Fili has a secret weapon for his debut fight tonight -- stained, old green underwear ... and the fighter is pretty confident it'll give him an edge.

Fili knows the underwear might turn some people off ... however Touchy's convinced they'll bring him luck -- since he wore them during his most intense amateur fights.

Sadly, Fili won't actually be wearing the crusty briefs -- they're too long for his new gear ... but Andre says they will hold down the fort in his hotel room during 166.

As for the drizzle stains ... he's had 'em a long time.

Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney says he's not interested because, "Risks already exist for the courageous, world class fighters who enter the Bellator cage; without adding further unnecessary risks into the mix."

Sucks for Rousimar -- since a handful of former UFC stars have made the switch to Bellator like Rampage Jackson and Tito Ortiz ... who fight on Pay-Per-View later this month.

Bjorn adds, "Fighter safety is paramount to me and my team."

McGregor tweeted photos of he and "Nasty" Willie Roaf hitting up The Library Thursday night in Las Vegas ... and the no-touching policy obviously wasn't in effect.

Fun Fact: Willie's mom was the first black woman to serve on the Arkansas Supreme Court ... and his sister is an Episcopal Priest.

We've all seen athletes do regular push ups. And clapping push ups. And diamond push-ups ... but have you ever seen anyone do BACKFLIP PUSH-UPS?!

Meet UFC fighter Chad Mendes ... who showed off his acrobatic workout skills at a media event for his upcoming fight against Nik Lentz at "UFC on Fox 9" in December.

For good measure, Chad also knocks out a "clapping behind the back" push-up.

Last time we saw anyone pull off push-ups like these ... was right before we turned off "Don't Mess with the Zohan."

Jon Jones is no match for Wladimir Klitschko or his brother Vitali -- so claims Joe Rogan ... who tells us the UFC champ's goal to beat one of the Ukrainians is laughable.

Joe couldn't have been clearer before blowing out of  LAX ... Jones wouldn't stand a chance in the boxing ring with either Klitschko -- both world heavyweight boxing champs.

Rogan says Bones WOULD have a better chance in an MMA fight ... but one Klitschko would still have a serious edge.

UFC Hall of Famer Chuck Liddell fought an intense battle in L.A. this week -- no octagon ... just octonauts.

The Iceman waded through hoards of children at the Topanga Mall -- daughter in tow -- to check out "Octonauts! Live" ... a stage production based on the popular Disney show.

The kiddie crush was all smiles as they gazed at Captain Barnacle and Kwazii -- but by the look on Chuck's face, he just took one for the team.

Watch the show open and listen to the theme song ... you'll understand.

Jon Jones may have had his face bashed in at UFC 165 last night -- but that didn't stop the light-heavyweight champ from flashing his extremely swollen face for a photo after the fight.

Jones' opponent Alexander Gustafsson posted the gnarly pic this morning online -- showing a beat up moment of respect between the two fighters inside a Toronto hospital after the pay per view.

UFC badass Miesha Tate says she won't rest until she BREAKS Ronda Rousey's face ... telling TMZ she doesn't just wanna win when they fight -- she wants to knock Ronda's ass out cold.

Tate -- who's currently a coach on Fox Sports 1's "The Ultimate Fighter 18" -- was out in NYC yesterday when she told us how she plans to defeat Rousey when they face off at UFC 168 in December.

"I'm just going to smash her," Tate told us ... "I want her to wake up and see the ceiling and the headlights and me standing over here with the belt on already."

It ain't gonna be easy ... Rousey's undefeated in the world of MMA ... and she's pretty handy with the arm bar.

Still, Tate's confident -- telling us, "I would love nothing more than to break her jaw."

Here's some video of Tate in action -- she's a BEAST!!!

Soooo ... Joe Rogan works out.

The UFC announcer went shirt-off at the beach in Hawaii this weekend ... proving Carrot Top ain't the only comic who knows his way around the weight room.

Fun Fact -- Rogan also happens to be a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu ... which is why we're immediately issuing the following apology for comparing him to Carrot Top.

Sorry Joe.

MMA legend Tito Ortiz is no stranger to bad breakups ... and tells TMZ he's moved on from the UFC because he knows Dana White ain't lookin' to bury the hatchet anytime soon.

Dana and Tito famously trashed each other following Tito's last UFC fight back in 2012 ... and Ortiz has since struck a deal with Bellator, a rival MMA organization.

In fact, Ortiz is set to fight fellow UFC-defector Rampage Jackson under the Bellator banner in November.

But, when we asked Tito if there was any chance at patching things up with his former boss and returning to the UFC ... Tito simply explained, "Nah, Dana holds grudges."

It ain't the first time Tito and Dana have gone after each other -- they also tore each other apart back in 2008 ... and Tito left the UFC ... only to return one year later.

Tito Ortiz is scrambling to protect his reputation in the face of a public smear campaign ... helmed by his baby mama Jenna Jameson -- telling TMZ, whatever she's about to say on TV is bound to be filled with lies ... because she's a dirty liar.

FYI, Jenna recently sat for an interview with "Entertainment Tonight." It's unclear what the interview is about, but Tito's guessing he's a main talking point ... and given their sordid history, he probably isn't portrayed in the best light.

So he's coming out to clear his name preemptively -- telling us, "I want to make it very clear that any and all allegations she has made about our personal life and my character are completely false. Jenna continues to paint a picture of distorted reality, which has been hurtful to both myself and my family. I hold sole custody over our boys, which speaks for itself."

He adds, "I am moving on with our life and with our boys, and I pray this is all over soon. I wish Jenna would get help to not only save herself, but for the children she brought into this world."

He was a joke in "Street Fighter" ... he sucked in "Double Team" ... but Jean-Claude Van Damme could BEAT YOUR ASS in real life, so says UFC champ Georges St-Pierre.

A well-dressed GSP was out being a badass in NYC yesterday when we asked if he thought martial arts legend Bruce Lee would be able to dominate in today's UFC (c'mon, of course he would).

But Georges said the superfight he'd REALLY like to see is Van Damme vs. Chuck Norris -- "I think that would have been the best showdown."

GSP says he's trained with JC in the past and says the Muscles from Brussels is no joke when it comes to fighting (see: final scene from "Bloodsport").

Of course, Chuck Norris is kind of a badass too -- he once FOUGHT A BEAR!

Two years after UFC badass Brock Lesnar was forced to retire due to serious stomach issues, the Beast Incarnate proved his guts are still TOUGH AS HELL ... by woofing down enough food to feed a small Italian village.

As you may recall, Brock was diagnosed with a severe case of diverticulitis back in 2009 -- a digestive tract disease that usually forms in the large intestine -- and after multiple surgeries, he was forced to retire in 2011.

But things are lookin' up ... 'cause TMZ has learned Lesnar and his wife Sable hit up Fresco restaurant in Montclair, NJ on Monday ... and Brock put his belly to the test.

Check out what he ate:

-- Ahi tuna with asparagus (shared)
-- Margherita pizza (shared)
-- Chicken Parm ... with TRIPLE-EXTRA chicken
-- Full bowl of parpadelle bolognese

... and, to top things off, dude crushed a slice of cheesecake by himself.

We're told the entire meal cost just north of $500 ... PLUS, we're told the WWE star left a "very generous" tip to everyone who stayed past closing time to take care of him.

Awesome.

Newly-crowned UFC champ Chris Weidman says he's unstoppable -- telling TMZ, he destroyed UFC's reigning middleweight king Anderson Silva when no one else could ... and he's ready to do it again in a few months.

There's a lot of speculation that Silva succumbed to Weidman over the weekend because he's getting old and has lost his edge -- but Weidman's not buying it, telling us Silva was as strong as ever in the Octagon ... he just wasn't strong enough.

Sounds like fighting words to us ... which is good because Weidman and Silva are already set to rematch very soon.