You Might Want to Rethink

Shameless underage fame whore Courtney Stodden couldn't leave well enough alone this weekend -- stripping down to a sacrilegiously tiny bikini in 30-degree weather ... and single-handedly destroying our Christmas spirit.

We can't decide if this makes it more or less creepy, but the guy in the Santa suit is Courtney's 51-year-old husband Doug Hutchinson -- and Saturday, the barely legal couple abandoned whatever shred of dignity they had left ... and exchanged dirty talk in the snow just north of L.A.

The Cheerios honeybee got the XXX treatment on the front page of an official Cheerios website this morning -- thanks to some mischievous vandal -- and now, General Mills is scrambling to clean up the mess.

It's supposed to be a website for kids to make their own Cheerios-themed comics -- but clearly, someone got carried away ... and the explicit cartoon made it to the top of the popular "Honey Defender" website.

A rep for the cereal company tells TMZ, “We have some safeguards that are supposed to keep this from happening, but I guess it wasn’t set up with this game."

The rep adds, "Normally, our games where we allow viewers to spell out things themselves have safeguards that tell children they can’t type stuff like that in. Let’s just say this is no longer going to be the 'Hot Comic of the Week' much longer!”

She's probably the last person who should be handling a firearm -- but yesterday in L.A., a cowgirl-hat-wearing Brooke Mueller dropped by a local gun range ... and waved around a real-life handgun.

She was sentenced to 20 years in prison for hiring a hitman to murder her husband -- but now, failed husband-killer Dalia Dippolito is cooking up a new scheme ... a book full of delicious recipes!

You’ll remember ... Dalia was convicted in June of soliciting to commit first-degree murder -- after her 2009 arrest, when caught paying an undercover cop to kill her hubby of 6 months.

29-year-old Dalia is now serving house arrest while waiting out an appeal to the 20-year sentence -- and in the meantime, she's keeping herself busy ... putting together a cookbook of her favorite recipes.

Dalia tells TMZ, she "poured [her] heart and soul into" the book -- which she describes as "a combination of cooking, health and nutrition, self-help, decorating and humor with a modern twist."

Right now, she's looking for a literary agent to help lock down a deal -- adding, "I want to teach people that you can bring the sexy back in the kitchen regardless of whatever you have going on in your life."

Alec Baldwin just went OFF about American Airlines, its employees, post 9/11 travel, and the entire airline industry -- and best of all ... this rant came wrapped in an apology.

In his letter, just published on Huffingtonpost.com, Baldwin begins by apologizing to passengers on yesterday's flight ... saying, "It was never my intention to inconvenience anyone with my 'issue' with a certain flight attendant." He claims the woman singled him out to "make some example of me."

Baldwin continues ... "It's no secret that the level of service on US carriers has deteriorated to a point that would make Howard Hughes red-faced. Filthy planes, barely edible meals, cuts in jet service to less-traveled locations."

He also claims the industry used 9/11 "as an excuse to make the air travel experience as inelegant as possible."

In his closing shot, Baldwin says many flight attendants "walk the aisles of an airplane with a whistle around their neck and a clipboard in their hands," and make air travel a "Greyhound bus experience."

Best apology ever.

Note to Alec: On Greyhound, you can play "Words with Friends" all you want.

Two California families are lucky to be alive -- after a "Mythbusters" experiment went horribly awry yesterday ... sending a cannonball careening through their homes, leaving MASSIVE holes in its wake.

Sgt. JD Nelson from the Alameda County Sheriff's Department says hosts Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage were trying to figure out how effective a cannon is at firing non-cannonball objects ... but first, they had to test the cannonball itself.

The cannonball was supposed to land harmlessly in a nearby hill -- but something went wrong ... and the ball, traveling at about 1000 ft/s, went over the hill bordering Camp Parks Military Firing Reservation, and into the neighboring town of Dublin, crashing through two separate houses before finally coming to rest ... inside someone's minivan.

The Discovery Channel show has been put on hold after the mishap, pending a full investigation. Luckily, no one was injured.

Thanks to San Francisco KTVU for the footage.

Homeless people in Indiana are feeling the wrath of Charlie Sheen's former goddess Bree Olson -- who's BEGGING her community to stop giving money to beggars.

Olson ignited a firestorm on Twitter earlier today when she posted a photo of a beggar -- and wrote, "STOP giving then money Fort Wayne! The more you give them money this place is gonna start looking like Skid Row."

She added, "Fort Wayne has PLENTY of room in the shelters and almost every church has food shelter and placement. No excuse for him or the others here."

Olson -- a former porn star -- was bombarded with insults from people who don't see things her way. One person wrote, "Some people are more comfortable asking for help than sucking d*** for money."

Still, we gotta ask ...

Vinny from "Jersey Shore" believes the way to a stripper's heart is through pretend rape ... this according to the lyrics in a new rap song he just released.

Vinny just posted a song called "Rack City Mix" on his YouTube page -- in which the reality star rhymes about going to a strip club and skillfully courting one of the dancers ...with lyrics like:

"I ain't got a girl ... You ain't got a man ...
I've got a date for ya ... and it's in my pants."

The rap continues:

"Oh you a fan? You wanna take a pic?
I like your crack girl ... I wanna take a hit.
Yeah I'm takin' it ... I'm a get you naked b*tch ...
We can f**k and make it fit... boomin s**t and slatin' it.
Actin' like I'm raping it ...
f** k her til she fakin' it."

But wait, there's more:

"If I act like a d*ck ... slap me with your t*ts."

Vinny posted an explanation on his YouTube page, saying, "I felt like being a naughty boy and rapping like a G. Ladies I still love you."

Gay people aren't the only ones who need to learn how to laugh at themselves -- T.I. tells TMZ Live ... the black community is also guilty of being overly sensitive when it comes to jokes.

T.I. called in, standing by what he said in the recent Vibe interview ... that gay people who try to stifle arguably homophobic jokes simply because they're offensive are "not American."

And T.I. insists ... the argument doesn't just apply to gay people -- it applies to anyone who can't take a joke, black people included.

But there's one exception ... the n-word. Then all bets are off.

T.I. thinks gays need to get over themselves ... at least the ones who try and muzzle people from telling harmless jokes.

T.I. was discussing gay rights with Vibe magazine -- an issue he says he supports -- and then mentioned Tracy Morgan's controversial comments earlier this year:

"Man, I will say this, the funniest joke I ever heard Tracy say during a stand-up was, 'C'mon man, I think gay people are too sensitive. If you can take a d**k, you can take a joke.' [Cracks up laughing.] That s**t was funny to me. And it’s kind of true."

Then T.I. unloaded ... talking about oversensitivity in the gay community, which he believes betrays the First Amendment which guarantees freedom of speech.

"They’re like,‘If you have an opinion against us, we’re gonna shut you down.’ ... That’s not American. If you’re gay you should have the right to be gay in peace, and if you’re against it you should have the right to be against it in peace."

So we ask ...

Doing his best Kenny G impersonation, adult contemporary singer/songwriter Jason Mraz rocked some curly longer locks and chin bush at an event in Australia last night (left) -- quite a change from his more groomed and clean-cut bikini look of a couple years ago (right).

Porn legend Sasha Grey -- winner of the 2010 AVN award for best anal sex scene -- was invited to read books to 1st graders at an L.A.-area elementary school last week ... but the school tried to cover it all up ... after parents pitched a fit.

TMZ has obtained photos of Sasha reading children's books at Emerson Elementary School in Compton on November 2nd ... participating in the Read Across America program. Grey, who hasn't done porn in 2 years, may have been invited because she's mainstream now, with credits which include "Entourage."

Sasha tweeted about the experience -- calling the students the "sweetest" ever. However, not everyone saw it that way ... some angry parents complained to the PTA -- who then contacted the school's principal ... but there's one problem.

A rep for the school district is flatly denying Sasha was ever inside one of its classrooms -- telling TMZ, "We have several celebrities who read to our students each year. The actress you have indicated [Sasha] was not present."

Clearly, the photos we obtained show otherwise.

12:00 PM -- Sasha has released a statement, saying she refuses to quit the program over the complaints -- click here for more.

Ashton Kutcher attacked the Penn State Board of Trustees for firing Joe Paterno last night -- but there was one little problem, seems Ashton didn't know about Joe's misdeeds.

Right after Paterno got the chop, Kutcher tweeted, "How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste."

Almost immediately, Kutcher was attacked by people informing the actor about the situation -- writing things like, "F**k you. He covered up child rape you sick, geriatric f**k."

Roughly 30 minutes later, Kutcher removed his original tweet -- and replaced it with, "Heard Joe was fired, fully recant previous tweet! Didn't have full story. #admitwhenYoumakemistakes."

He later continued, "This is an insane story, I just heard paterno was fired, getting the rest of the story now... Wow."

He added, "As an advocate in the fight against child sexual exploitation, I could not be more remorseful for all involved in the Penn St. case."

The mother of "Toddlers and Tiaras" star Paisley Dickey has done it again ... dressing up her 3-year-old daughter in a questionable outfit -- this time a motorcycle biker chick Halloween costume.

While Paisley's mom thankfully left the baby hooker "Pretty Woman" getup at home this time, she did deck out her baby girl in a very adult little black mini dress and motorcycle boots.

So, we gotta ask ...

Herman Cain's rep was dead wrong when he told TMZ that Oksana Grigorieva's bodyguard only protected the Republican presidential candidate one time ... and we have the photo proof.

TMZ broke the story ... Kristian Otto Herzog -- who served jail time in 2009 for impersonating a police officer -- was a member of Cain's security detail during a campaign stop in Detroit on Oct. 21.

Cain's rep told us Herzog only worked for the campaign on that ONE occasion ... and insisted he would not be asked back to work any future Cain events.

But TMZ has obtained photos of Herzog working security at the Republican presidential debate in Las Vegas on Oct. 18 ... even taking a photo with Cain's arm draped around him at the hotel after the event.

Now, Cain's rep has changed his tune -- telling us he "did some research" and could now confirm Herzog did work the debate along with a 3rd event in Ohio on October 22.

Sources connected to the Cain camp tell us ... Herzog may have been able to slip through the screening process because the campaign was in a "rush" to find extra security and didn't have time to perform a more thorough background check.

TMZ spoke with Herzog ... who insists he was NOT fired ... but says he felt pressured to resign after we published our story this weekend.

The man who tried to calm down Shia LaBeouf moments after the beatdown in Vancouver last week tells TMZ ... the actor threatened to pull a knife on him in the wake of the fight ... but he never actually flashed a blade.

TMZ spoke with Shea Carter ... the man who restrained Shia after the fight ... who tells us he noticed the actor inside the Cinema Public House bar BEFORE the melee. Carter says LaBeouf had been drunkenly swaying into several patrons ... including one man who calmly warned Shia, "Hey man, watch out."

Carter says Shia replied, "Oh yea? Or what? What are you going to do about it?" That's when the two decided to take things outside ... and the guy beat Shia down to the ground.