Bradley Cooper Now 39 Times More Likely to Die in a Car Crash

Bradley Cooper is now much more likely to seriously injure himself on the road -- because TMZ has learned ... the actor just got his motorcycle license in L.A.

Sources tell TMZ, Cooper hit up an L.A.-area DMV earlier this month -- where he successfully passed his test for a motorcycle license ... permitting him to hit the streets on whatever overly-priced vintage chopper he inevitably decides to buy.

But he better be careful -- according to some random motorcycle crash statistics we looked up, "Motorcyclists were 39 times more likely than passenger car occupants to die in a crash ... and eight times more likely to be injured."

Hey, if you're gonna lose a leg -- may as well look damn cool doing it.

Abercrombie & Fitch The Situation Can't Sue Us ... We're ALLOWED to Mock Him

Abercrombie & Fitch is trying to end their ongoing feud with The Situation once and for all -- asking a judge to dimiss the "Jersey Shore" star's lawsuit against the clothing company ... on grounds dude can't take a joke.

The war between Sitch and A&F began back in August -- when A&F publicly offered to pay The Situation NOT to wear its clothing. A month later, Sitch sued the company, claiming it ripped off his "GTL" and "Situation" trademarks on a line of guido-mocking t-shirts (below).

But now, A&F is trying to put an end to the back-and-forth -- claiming Sitch had no right to sue them in the first place ... because he doesn't technically own the trademarks in question ... he only applied for them.

What's more -- A&F claims Situation's application for "Gym Tan Laundry" has actually been suspended ... because MTV already owns "Gym Tanning Laundry," and the US Patent & Trademark Office thinks they're too similar.

But trademarks aside -- A&F insists its shirts are still protected under a law that allows parody as part of free speech ... in other words, the shirts were obviously a harmless joke ... albeit at the Situation's expense.

Bottom line, A&F is hoping to avoid further litigation by citing an often incontrovertible fact ... The Situation is full of crap. So far, no word back from Sitch's camp.

Amanda Knox Signs with Book Agent Who Repped Barack Obama

The Amanda Knox story is one step closer to bookstores everywhere -- TMZ has learned, she's signed with a very powerful literary agent in DC.

According to sources, Amanda recently inked a deal with lawyer/lit agent Robert Barnett -- who has brokered book deals for some of the biggest names imaginable ... Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin and Dick Cheney ... to name a few.

Our sources say Amanda's Italian ex-BF Raffaele Sollecito -- who was also convicted and then exonerated in the murder of Meredith Kercher -- has signed with a book agent of his own ... Sharlene Martin, famous for brokering deals for several NY Times bestselling authors.

Porn Legend Sasha Grey Reads to 1st Graders, School Attempts Cover-Up

Porn legend Sasha Grey -- winner of the 2010 AVN award for best anal sex scene -- was invited to read books to 1st graders at an L.A.-area elementary school last week ... but the school tried to cover it all up ... after parents pitched a fit.

TMZ has obtained photos of Sasha reading children's books at Emerson Elementary School in Compton on November 2nd ... participating in the Read Across America program. Grey, who hasn't done porn in 2 years, may have been invited because she's mainstream now, with credits which include "Entourage."

Sasha tweeted about the experience -- calling the students the "sweetest" ever. However, not everyone saw it that way ... some angry parents complained to the PTA -- who then contacted the school's principal ... but there's one problem.

A rep for the school district is flatly denying Sasha was ever inside one of its classrooms -- telling TMZ, "We have several celebrities who read to our students each year. The actress you have indicated [Sasha] was not present."

Clearly, the photos we obtained show otherwise.

12:00 PM -- Sasha has released a statement, saying she refuses to quit the program over the complaints -- click here for more.

Lindsay Lohan $1 Million Offer from Sex Toy Company

Lindsay Lohan's genitals are a friggin' gold mine -- because Playboy's million dollar baby has just received ANOTHER million dollar offer from a sex toy company ... TMZ has learned.

The honchos from an adult entertainment company called FleshLight have fired over a letter to Lohan's reps ... hoping to seal a deal with the actress which would allow the company to take a mold of LiLo's lady parts to produce "authentic" Lindsay Lohan sex toys.

Shockingly, the practice of genital molding is not that uncommon in the world of adult entertainment ... loads of XXX actresses -- including Jesse Jane and "Nailin' Palin" star Lisa Ann -- have copied their private parts for sex toys.

We're told Lindsay hasn't seen the offer yet ... but sources close to the actress tell us, "She would never accept such an offer for any amount of money."

As TMZ first reported, Lindsay is going full frontal for Playboy ... but only agreed to the deal because she felt the photos would be "tasteful."

Lindsay Lohan FULL FRONTAL for Playboy

Lindsay Lohan didn't wuss out for her Playboy shoot -- TMZ has learned, the actress will BARE ALL in her upcoming spread ... i.e. the holy trifecta ... or as one source close to Playboy put it, "boobs, ass, and vag."

As we previously reported, Lindsay recently locked down a nearly-million-dollar deal with PB for a full pictorial -- and yesterday, she finally wrapped her 4-day shoot.

Reports circulated Lindsay would pull one of those lame semi-nude fiascos -- all sideboob, no fun -- but sources close to Hef & co. tell us, that is NOT the case. Lindsay did insist the photos be "tastefully done," but we're told she's still going the full monty.

It's unclear when Lindsay will grace the cover -- but it could be the life-giving jolt Playboy needs for a comeback.

Snooki Website Issues Crippling Apology For Bogus Pot Story

Snooki's legal team just smoosh smoosh'd all over the website that published a false story about her -- that she was arrested in a marijuana mega-bust yesterday -- because the site has issued an embarrassing apology for the mix-up.

TMZ obtained a copy of the mea culpa -- sent to Snooki's reps earlier today -- in which the website admits, "It has come to our attention that the story we released regarding your alleged arrest yesterday was false."

The site continues, "Our actions were wrongful and reckless ... What we did was wrong. We are sorry we did it. We are sorry for the attention it brought you."

And the coup de grace -- "We would also like to inform you that upon your request we will no longer use nor refer to you, your name, your likeness, nor your image."

Boom. Snooki wins by knockout.

Shia LaBeouf Allegedly Threatened to Pull Knife after Brawl

The man who tried to calm down Shia LaBeouf moments after the beatdown in Vancouver last week tells TMZ ... the actor threatened to pull a knife on him in the wake of the fight ... but he never actually flashed a blade.

TMZ spoke with Shea Carter ... the man who restrained Shia after the fight ... who tells us he noticed the actor inside the Cinema Public House bar BEFORE the melee. Carter says LaBeouf had been drunkenly swaying into several patrons ... including one man who calmly warned Shia, "Hey man, watch out."

Carter says Shia replied, "Oh yea? Or what? What are you going to do about it?" That's when the two decided to take things outside ... and the guy beat Shia down to the ground.

Mel Gibson, Oksana Grigorieva Settlement Hits a Roadblock

Oksana Grigorieva just made a beeline for family court after her settlement with Mel Gibson hit a snag ... TMZ has learned.

As TMZ first reported, Oksana and Mel struck a deal in which Oksana would walk away with $750,000, the house she's living in, and some other stuff. In return, she'll leave Mel alone. They also agreed to 50/50 custody of Lucia.

The settlement agreement is scheduled to go before the family court judge tomorrow for final approval, but we're told the lawyers are still fighting over how it's worded and they've reached a stalemate.

Our sources say Mel's lawyers asked the judge for more time so they can hash it out, but Oksana showed up to court this morning to fight the request ... because she wants the deal done STAT.

Judge Scott Gordon gave Mel and Oksana an extension to sort out their differences -- but only until November 1st ... less time than Mel's people were hoping for.

Lindsay Lohan Booted From Community Service Program

Lindsay Lohan has been kicked out of the program where she was supposed to complete her community service because she violated the rules numerous times ... TMZ has learned.

Judge Stephanie Sautner ordered Lohan to serve 360 hours at the Downtown Women's Center in L.A., as part of her probation in the shoplifting case. Part of the deal -- the judge required her to be reliable, non-disruptive, and serve at least 4 hours at a time.

But sources tell us ... Lindsay blew off 9 scheduled visits ... and when she did show up, she would often bail after working there for only an hour.

Sources say ... 2 weeks ago, she was terminated from the Women's Center because of the violations. The Probation Department's volunteer center has now assigned her to a new community service program at the Red Cross. We got a pic of Lindsay doing her community service there earlier this week.

Now here's the BIG problem ... Lindsay is due back in court next week for a progress hearing. Judge Sautner made it clear ... there would be no more second third fourth fifth sixth chances. If she screwed up again, she was going to jail.

And just for bad measure, we've learned aside from Lindsay's violations at the Downtown Women's Center, the number of community service hours she has racked up so far is "very unimpressive."

Janice Dickinson I Was WRONGLY NAMED in School Mom Attack!

Janice Dickinson has been sued for allegedly beating the crap out of another woman in front of an elementary school last month ... only there's one little problem, cops say Janice was NEVER THERE!

A woman named Jill Gatsby claims she was trying to pick up her 5-year-old kid from an L.A. elementary school on September 28 ... but when she couldn't find a parking spot, she moved some trash cans in front of a nearby home from the street onto the sidewalk to make room for her car.

That's when Gatsby claims "a lady" came out of the home ... and became aggressive. Gatsby claims she whipped out her cell phone to record the incident, but "the lady" snatched the phone out of her hand ... and smacked her in the face with it.

Chris Brown & Bow Wow $5,000 Stripper Tippers

Chris Brown and Bow Wow don't take their hard-earned money for granted -- and to prove just how seriously they take their finances ... the rappers dropped $5,000 a pop on MULTIPLE strippers last week.

Bow and Breezy let loose at the King of Diamonds strip club in Miami last Wednesday -- the largest strip club on the planet -- buying untold bottles of booze for their entourage ... and lining the floor with singles.

Sources at the club tell TMZ, at least three dancers walked away with $5,000 in tips ... each.

A local celebrity baker topped off the night with a giant 2-story cake for Team Breezy, lined with Swarovski crystals. Chris Brown's rep confirmed the after party took place at KOD -- but didn't have a further comment. So far, no word back from Bow Wow's rep.

Tom Sizemore Scores Huge Legal Victory

Tom Sizemore just won a gargantuan victory in court ... not only did his lawyer prove he did NOT violate his probation, the judge actually ended Tom's probation more than a year early, because he's doing so well.

Tom was arrested last month because neither he nor his lawyer presented timely proof that he completed his community service in Tom's battery case.

But today ... Tom's new lawyer, Kent Schaffer, went back to the judge and explained that the old lawyer just dropped the ball, and that Tom had completed all of his community service, and then some.

So the judge praised Tom, and then terminated probation a year and a half early.

Tupac Sex Tape THE PHOTOS

For all the non-believers ... Here is photographic evidence there IS a Tupac sex tape.

TMZ broke the story ... Tupac received oral sex from a mystery woman back in 1991 ... and it was all caught on tape. The 5-minute video shows Tupac in a living room, holding a cocktail in one hand and a blunt in another.

An unreleased Tupac song is playing in the background, as the rapper sings along, wiggling his hips -- all the while getting serviced by the woman.

At one point, Money B from Digital Underground walks into frame, and Tupac puts his cocktail arm around him as the two gab away.

Tupac Sex Tape Surfaces

A five-minute sex tape showing Tupac receiving oral sex while rapping and dancing has surfaced ... and TMZ has seen it.

The tape, shot in 1991, begins with a bunch of groupies in a living room during a house party. Tupac walks into the room with his pants down to his ankles, his shirt off ... sporting several chains.

Tupac -- whose head is shaved -- pulls one of the women toward him, and she begins performing oral sex. As she does her thing, an unreleased song of Tupac's is playing in the background, as Tupac is singing along and dancing, wiggling his hips.

And it gets even better. As the woman services Tupac, who is holding a cocktail in one hand and a blunt in another, Money B from Digital Underground walks over to him. Tupac puts his cocktail arm around Money B, continues singing and dancing ... and the woman never stops.

As the tape ends it appears he's ready to begin sexual intercourse. It's unclear if there's another tape.

We've learned the person in possession of the tape is making plans to release it.

One thing's for sure ... Tupac was a multi-tasker.

"X-Men" Star Wife Files for Divorce

"X-Men" star James Marsden's wife has filed for divorce, TMZ has learned.

Lisa Linde cited irreconcilable differences. She's seeking spousal support and joint legal and physical custody.

A rep for James tells TMZ, "This was a mutual decision. They are committed to raising their kids together and remain great friends."

The couple married in 2000 and have two children -- a son and a daughter.

Lisa filed for divorce on September 23rd. So this is interesting ... TMZ got video of James at 4:30 AM that morning, outside the Papaya King hot dog shop in New York, singing with a bunch of friends.

BTW, Lisa's dad, Dennis Linde wrote Elvis Presley's 1972 hit, "Burning Love."