You Might Want to Rethink

Take a bunch of rednecks ... put 'em on a desert island with a giant roll of duct tape ... and you get one of the most painfully stupid things you'll ever see.

We won't go into details here -- but let's just say people from the South can be extremely resourceful when it comes to unsightly body hair removal.

The clip is from a CMT reality show called "Redneck Island" that comes out next month -- think "Survivor" but with yokels.

It might be the most cringeworthy few seconds in TV history -- Kathie Lee Gifford asked Martin Short how his wife is doing ... one small problem ... she died 2 years ago.

Martin appeared on "The Today Show" this morning to promote his new movie, "Madagascar 3" -- when Kathie asked, "And you and Nancy have one of the greatest marriages of anybody in show business. How many years now for you guys?"

Martin doesn't know how to respond, saying, "We ... have ... married ... 36 years."

Apparently Kathie didn't get the memo -- Martin's wife Nancy Dolman died in August 2010 from ovarian cancer.

The clip gets even worse -- you have to watch.

This video is nuts -- an Indiana toddler took the mic at his church recently, and sang a hate-filled anti-gay song ... with the lyrics, "Ain't no homos gonna make it to heaven" ... and the crowd went WILD.

The video was reportedly recorded at the Apostolic Truth Tabernacle in Greensburg, Indiana -- featuring a young boy on the altar, barely old enough to walk, singing a song he was obviously spoon fed.

It's pretty hard to make out the words -- so here are the lyrics ...

"The Bible’s right, somebody’s wrong.
The Bible’s right, somebody’s wrong.
Romans one, twenty six and twenty seven;
Ain’t no homos gonna make it to Heaven."

The congregation erupts in thunderous applause after the song.

FYI, here's Romans 1:26-27 -- "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error."

Clint Eastwood's daughter must have waaaaaay too much money to blow, 'cause the reality TV star just lit a $100,000 Birkin bag on fire ... all for the sake of a photo shoot.

19-year-old Francesca Eastwood -- who stars in the E! show "Mrs. Eastwood and Company" -- and her celebrity photographer boyfriend Tyler Shields decided to drop some major cash on the Hermes hand bag ... just so they could DESTROY IT!

If you don't know, the luxury-item bags range from $9,000 to $150,000 a pop (this was the $100k version) which apparently made no dent in the duo's wallet, because they sliced it in half with a chain saw and then let it burn -- all while the camera captured the fashion murder on film.

So we gotta ask ...

A WWE event in Brazil came to a screeching halt Thursday evening ... when local law enforcement stopped a live match and threatened to arrest Chris Jericho for desecrating the Brazilian flag.

It all went down during a match between Jericho and C.M. Punk -- who was proudly waving the flag in the ring. Jericho took the flag away, crumpled it up and kicked the flag out of the ring ... and that's when police stepped in and put a stop to the event.

We're told Jericho was informed that desecrating the national flag is a crime in Brazil ... punishable by incarceration.

Cops gave Jericho an option -- apologize to the arena ... or go to jail. Chris chose the former ... grabbing the mic and telling the crowd he immediately regretted his actions. Cops allowed the event to continue.

Sources connected to the WWE tell TMZ ... the flag stunt was NOT planned or approved by WWE officials.

The WWE has just released an official statement saying, "Chris Jericho has been suspended indefinitely due to an irresponsible act of denigrating the Brazilian flag at a WWE event in Sao Paulo on May 24. The WWE has apologized to the citizens and the government of Brazil for this incident."

It's the most famous crash diet in history ... the Master Cleanse ... but according to celebrity super-trainer Jillian Michaels ... it's dangerous for your body.

Michaels was out in Malibu this weekend, when we asked about rumors that Beyonce dropped the baby weight by going on a Master Cleanse ... a 10-day program where people are only allowed to consume tea and lemonade mixed with maple syrup and cayenne pepper.

"Don't do the Master Cleanse," Michaels told us bluntly ... "It's bad for you."

Back in 2006, Beyonce told Oprah she shed a TON of poundage by using the program for 14 days ... but now, Michaels insinuates Beyonce is more educated about the dangers of the Cleanse ... and HIGHLY DOUBTS the singer would ever do it again.

Dr. Oz is reeeeeeealllllyyyy excited about his pasta ... judging by the southern bulge he appeared to be sporting during a photo shoot for "Good Housekeeping" ... OR IS IT???

The Internet has been buzzing ever since this photo surfaced in the April edition of GH ... which appears to show the doc enjoying magnum-sized bites of pasta ... while pitching a khaki tent.

Some people think Oz's anatomy is to blame ... others believe it's simply an optical illusion created by a crease in his pants.

We called Oz's people to get the long and short of the photo mystery -- but so far, their lips are sealed.

Britney Spears spoke to FOX cameras before she took the stage at yesterday's Upfronts ... and she did so while chewing a piece of gum. Ding dang, y'all!!!

Britney ditched the gum by the time she went in front of the advertisers ... so clearly someone caught a glimpse of Brit's red carpet faux pas and corrected it.

For what it's worth ... Simon Cowell was chewing away too!

The gum wasn't the only thing Britney was chompin' on during yesterday's festivities -- Brit took a few bites out of her fingernails, too.

Tanning Mom will never ever EVER sully the hallowed pages of Playboy ... despite desperately wanting to strip naked for the venerable magazine -- this according to Playboy sources.

As we reported, 44-year-old Patricia Krentcil would happily accept an invitation to bare her leathery hide for Playboy ... that is, if the nudie mag offered.

But Playboy sources tell TMZ, that will never happen in a million kajillion bazillion years.

One source says, “It wouldn’t even be considered” -- Hef wouldn’t let TM pose in the magazine or ANY Playboy outlet. Simply put -- Tanning Mom just isn't Playboy material.

You don't say.

Name: Tanning Mom ... aka Patricia Krentcil
Measurements: Don't wanna think about it
Turn Ons: UV Rays, carcinoma, cameras
Turn Offs: The movie "Powder" ... the bad guy in "Da Vinci Code"

Yes, Tanning Mom says she's willing to flaunt her sizzlin' hot body for Playboy ... if only they would ask. She's even been practicing her sexy poses.

But if a clothed Tanning Mom is more your speed ... you're in luck -- TM says she's been approached by multiple people interested in featuring her on a reality show.

Still, we gotta ask ...

Competitive eating monster Takeru Kobayashi downed a gut-busting 42 CUPS of coffee for his latest food stunt -- but his rep tells TMZ, the chowdown champ handled the massive caffeine jolt like a champ ... in fact, he didn't even have to poop.

Kobayashi's rep tells TMZ, Kobayashi was a tad jittery afterwards -- but overall, he was totally fine.

The rep says Kobayashi didn't eat anything before the stunt -- shot a couple weeks ago as a promotional video for Eight O'Clock Coffee -- and "That's why he didn't get the sh*ts."

The rep adds, "Actually, the only thing after the insane amount of coffee was that he kept having to go pee over and over again ... so many times."

Octo, fully clothed, said she doesn't feel that Patricia Krentcil should lose her kids, but she does feel Child Protective Services should step in to give Krentcil some parenting tips.

POP QUIZ -- "Put the whole thing in your mouth" ... "Swallow it" ... "Keep it in there" ... these are all phrases that appear in ... A) Octomom's new porn .... or B) her recent attempt at "The Cinnamon Challenge."

If you answered A, you're probably right -- except the correct answer is B.

For those who don't know, the Cinnamon Challenge is when you try to swallow a tablespoon of ground cinnamon in 60 seconds or less ... no water, no nothing.

Rihanna was a no-show for her final rehearsal for "Saturday Night Live" last night -- which did not sit well with the show's producers, including head man Lorne Michaels ... TMZ has learned.

According to our sources, RiRi called in sick for the dress rehearsal, which is done live in front of a studio audience right before the actual show. We're told Michaels takes dress rehearsals very seriously and was quite upset when Rihanna bailed at the last minute.

Our sources say that in her place, Rihanna's choreographer danced to her songs.

When Rihanna showed up later looking just fine, we're told the staff was shocked ... and felt she didn't appear sick enough to have missed the dress rehearsal ... though no one from the show called her on it.

According to our sources, once the live show got going, Rihanna was seen eating an apple and walking around in between songs ... which bothered several staffers because she did not seem ill at all.

We're told producers can't even remember the last time someone has skipped the dress rehearsal.

Sources close to Rihanna tell TMZ she went through every rehearsal except the dress rehearsal (which she was in the building for) because she just felt too ill to do it. We're told RiRi had a doctor come to her dressing room before the show and administer a shot of penicillin before she went on.

The bad news: Amanda Bynes was involved in another hit-and-run in Hollywood last night.

The good news: She didn't hit a cop car this time.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... a man was driving last night near the intersection of Crescent Heights and Melrose Blvd. when he claims he was sideswiped by a Range Rover that was trying to pass him on the right.

According to our sources, when the SUV didn't stop, the guy called police and reported the hit and run.

But the guy didn't let it go there. According to our sources, he began to follow the SUV himself (which wasn't difficult because there was traffic). We're told cops responded to the scene and even dispatched a police helicopter to track the SUV, unsure of how severe the accident was.

When cops finally caught up to the Range Rover, we're told the driver was none other than Bynes ... who told police she had no idea she had struck another vehicle. Our sources say the damage to Bynes' SUV was so minimal, it is possible she didn't feel the accident.

Law enforcement sources tell us Amanda was very cooperative with police and cops had her exchange information with the other driver. We're told she was not given a citation and cops will not be investigating the incident further.

Mexican mega-rock band Maná was outside a Coldplay concert when we got to ask 'em the burning question about groupies that was on absolutely ... NO ONE's mind. ¡Ay, dios mio!