The chick featured in this photo is NOT in "Men In Black 3" ... but she showed up to the premiere in Germany anyway ... and ABSOLUTELY NOBODY complained.

Sporting a necklace ... and some garbage bag strips attached to other garbage bag strips ...  German bikini model Micaela Schaefer walked the same red carpet as Will Smith and Josh Brolin on Monday.

Agent J ... meet Agent DD.

Name: Tanning Mom ... aka Patricia Krentcil
Measurements: Don't wanna think about it
Turn Ons: UV Rays, carcinoma, cameras
Turn Offs: The movie "Powder" ... the bad guy in "Da Vinci Code"

Yes, Tanning Mom says she's willing to flaunt her sizzlin' hot body for Playboy ... if only they would ask. She's even been practicing her sexy poses.

But if a clothed Tanning Mom is more your speed ... you're in luck -- TM says she's been approached by multiple people interested in featuring her on a reality show.

Still, we gotta ask ...

Former "Hills" star Audrina Patridge celebrated her 27th birthday at Wet Republic at the MGM Grand yesterday ... by donning her customary two piece outfit.

Like some parts of Audrina, seeing her in a bikini never gets old.

Former "The Hills" actress Audrina Patridge took time off from her busy schedule of wearing a bikini in L.A. ... to show off her slammin' body in a white hot bikini at the ME Cabo Hotel in Mexico yesterday.

Audrina is down in Cabo San Lucas celebrating her 27th birthday with her BMX boyfriend Corey Bohan and some family members.

All of Audrina has grown up quite nicely.

Supermodel Miranda Kerr showed off her smokin' hot maternal instincts in a sexy white bikini while on the beach with her adorable son in Bora Bora the other day.

Further proof why Orlando Bloom is the luckiest -- and most hated -- man in the world.

Her name's Lydia Bright. She stars on a UK show called "The Only Way Is Essex" that's basically "The Hills" with English accents. And she DESPERATELY needs a bottle of sunblock.

Ass-PF 100, anyone?

Supermodel Anja Rubik has outdone Angelina Jolie ... and flashed her ridiculously sexy long leg -- and nearly everything else -- by barely wearing a dress with a slit cut to her earlobe at the Costume Institute Gala in NYC last night.

No word on how the hell the hip 28-year-old got out of the limo.

Angelina Jolie debuted the infamous "Jolie" leg at the Oscars in February. It's become a thing.

"Teen Mom" star Jenelle Evans took time out from getting arrested to show off her new pride and joy ... her brand new boobs.

After going under the knife just last week, the 20-year-old flaunted her new buxom figure in a well endowed pink bikini on the beach in North Carolina this weekend.

While her mother is taking care of her son Jace, let's hope Jenelle can retain custody of her new girls.

"Criminal Minds" Shemar Moore continued flaunting his ripped body on the beaches of Miami, posing for the camera as he made his way out of the water yesterday.

The only thing criminal here is how good he looks for 42.

OctoMom's first day as a self-serving porn star is in the can ... so to speak.

TMZ has learned ... Nadya Suleman completed her first day of XXX shooting at a porn mansion in the San Fernando Valley on Thursday ... and we're told things couldn't have gone better!!!

We're told Octo appeared nervous when she arrived to the home ... but after chatting with some other porn stars who were at the house, she seemed to calm down.

Before the shoot, producers decided it would be a good idea to screen some porno flicks for Octo as an educational tool ... so to speak.

But when it was time for Octo to get down to business ... with herself ... one source on the set tells us "She was a natural ... she looked great!!"

Hopefully Octo has a good babysitter -- 'cause she's due back on the set next week.

Shemar Moore proved why "Criminal Minds" is must see TV ... his ridiculously smokin' hot body.

Looking half his age, the 42-year-old soaked his smooth hairless muscles in the warm waters off Miami Beach on Thursday.

Everyone set your DVRs now.