The Lohan family wants to wish you a Merry Christmas this year ... but not Dina, not Lindsay, not Ali or Cody ... just Michael Lohan, his fiancee Kate Major, and their 11-month-old love child.
It's only one of SEVERAL pseudo-celeb Christmas cards we've obtained this year -- including ones from ex-"Baywatch" star Jeremy Jackson and his wife, Justin Bieber's surgically-enhanced lookalike Toby Sheldon, Anthony Weiner's sexting partner Sydney Leathers ... and one especially terrifying card from Tan Mom.
Click through the gallery to see them all. They're fantastic!
on a Beach
12/18/2013 12:20 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Guess Who This
SMILIN' LITTLE LADY
12/18/2013 12:10 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Before this grinning girl was the biggest "B*tch" in Hollywood -- she was just another little lady growing up in Pennsylvania. Can you guess who she is?
Santa Snapshot Contest
ENTER TO WIN!
12/17/2013 6:50 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
12/16/2013 3:20 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Paul Walker's family -- and Tyrese -- said their final goodbye to the actor on a Santa Barbara beach.
Paul's dad, his 15-year-old daughter Meadow, Paul's brother and others were there celebrating Paul's life by enjoying a beautiful SoCal day -- playing football on the sand and hanging out.
Tyrese -- who co-starred with Walker in the "Fast & Furious" franchise -- was also present.
A bunch of people wore Viking hats -- not sure of the significance.
Santa Barbara was an appropriate place for the memorial. Paul made Santa Barbara home -- he wasn't really a Hollywood guy.
What's The Big Frigin'
12/15/2013 12:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Guess Who This Ballin' Boy
12/15/2013 12:05 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Before this spectacled sport became a Hollywood heartthrob he was just another kid playing hoops in Mt. Lebanon, Pennsylvania. Can you guess who he is?
Lisa McDowell in
"Coming to America"
12/14/2013 12:10 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Shari Headley is best known for playing the fast food restaurant owner turned royalty Lisa McDowell -- opposite Eddie Murphy -- in the 1988 comedy "Coming to America." Guess what she looks like now!
Little Petey in
"The Wedding Singer"
12/13/2013 12:20 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Gemini Barnett is best known for playing Petey the kid who says "Hey Linda, you're a b*tch" -- opposite Adam Sandler -- in the 1998 rom-com "The Wedding Singer." Guess what he looks like now!
Lamar's Cheating Rap Was Last Straw
12/12/2013 1:00 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Khloe Kardashian is done with Lamar Odom, and the final straw was the alcohol/drug-fueled rap song in which Lamar brags about cheating on her.
The pictures tell the story ... on Nov 23, Khloe was in Australia, boarding a plane for the U.S. She was wearing her wedding ring.
Khloe didn't know it, but TMZ had just posted a video of Lamar Odom, in which her hubby is clearly under the influence of something, rapping about infidelity -- "And when Khloe's out of town I still be on the DL."
Sources connected to Khloe say she found out about the video on the plane and went ballistic. When she landed she was hiding her left hand in her purse. Two days later, the ring was gone and she hasn't worn it since.
As we previously reported, Khloe WILL divorce Lamar. The question is when ... as far as we know, she hasn't decided when to pull the trigger.
Drops $9 Million on NYC Condo in Chelsea
12/11/2013 12:40 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Cameron Diaz just joined the likes of Harrison Ford, Katie Holmes, and Nicole Kidman as a resident of the Chelsea neighborhood in Manhattan ... shelling out a cool $9 MILLION on a swanky new condo.
The 3,022 sq. ft. luxury pad is located in the Walker Tower -- known for it's fancy-pants living spaces ... including a penthouse apartment that just sold for $55 MIL.
Cameron's relatively modest new digs comes with 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, and a Crestron home automation system complete with iPad dock.
Building amenities include a library lounge with pantry and bar, refrigerated storage for deliveries, yoga room, and sauna.
And if all this sounds like a bargain ... maintenance and real estate tax adds up to about an extra $5K a month.
It's good to be rich.
Laughing & Smiling
Minutes Before Fatal Crash [PHOTOS]
12/10/2013 12:32 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Paul Walker was in a great mood just moments before his fatal Porsche accident -- laughing and smiling in the passenger seat of the car that killed him.
The photos were shot as Paul and driver Roger Rodas were leaving the Santa Clarita charity car show that Walker had organized.
It's a jarring look into the final moments of the actor's life -- especially the juxtaposition of the gleaming red sports car ... and the fiery wreck it became just minutes later.
I Got a Ton of Green for Sale
12/10/2013 12:40 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
Willie Nelson is unloading a few million dollars worth of green, he's got 20 foot high trees to help sweeten the pot -- and this is NOT about marijuana.
TMZ has learned Willie's golf course in Spicewood, Texas called Cut & Putt just went up for sale ... and he's asking for $3 mil.
The 75 acre property has a 9-hole course, a country club and a recording studio. The listing also boasts trees (non-cannabis variety) ranging from 20-40 feet tall.
No word on how fertile the soil is, but c'mon ... it's Willie's.