Celebrity Boobs

As the weather warms up, Twitter is EXPLODING with sexy celeb #selfie photos -- can you guess which reality star posted this tanned torso pic for your viewing pleasure? We're not complaining, but the answer may disappoint you.

It's the boobie battle you've all been waiting for -- 22-year-old "Teen Mom" porn star Farrah Abraham (with her brand new D cups) and the legendary Tanning Mom (with her genuine leather speed bags).

It's actually a hilarious coincidence ... Farrah and 45-year-old Patricia Krentcil both posed for topless photo shoots on the beaches of Malibu Thursday.

Malibu beaches are a hot spot for celeb photo shoots, so it's not that surprising they showed up around the same place -- but it's incredible they BOTH decided to drop their tops.

Kate Upton's bra was battle tested yesterday ... pushed to its ultimate limits ... and unfortunately for us, it emerged victorious.

Kate was hangin' out on the set of "The Other Woman" in Westhampton, NY ... when for some glorious reason, she began to jump around ... bouncing ... and bouncing ... and bouncing some more.

In the end, the bra -- like anyone else in its position -- refused to surrender its grip.

Porn star Taylor Stevens knows ... if the L.A. Kings are going to come back from an 0-2 deficit in the Western Conference finals, they're gonna need her boobs to distract the Chicago Blackhawks -- and tonight, she's READY TO STEP UP!!!

FYI -- Taylor has become a master distractor at the Kings games ... strategically sitting behind the opposing team's bench (with cans in full view) in the hopes of taking the players' minds off the game ... and it's worked in the past.

So, with the Kings' championship hopes on the line ... Taylor tells TMZ she's carefully selected her battle threads for Game 3 in L.A. tonight ... and judging from the pics, it's clear she means business.

Polish supermodel Joanna Krupa wants to show the entire world the two perky reasons why everyone should be watching "Real Housewives of Miami."

With the heat in Florida just too much for her beautiful supple skin to bear, the 34-year-old former not hooker "Dancing with the Stars" contestant set her gorgeous gals free and sunbathed topless on Friday.

But Joanna and the twins were not alone, as her lucky ass fiancé Romain supervised the entire accidentally on purpose -- but amazing -- photo op.

Ex-beauty queen Shanna Moakler says her precious boobs are sex objects, and no place for hungry kids to be hanging out. Sooo ... let's talk milk jugs! And breastfeeding.

Even in May, it can get quite nippy out in New York City ... thanks to Jessica Alba.

While she hasn't been on a TV series in years, the sexy 32-year-old mother of two put on quite the show as she stripped off some of her pesky warm layers and exposed one of her gorgeous girls through her sheer bra on Tuesday.

Although unpredictable, the weather forecast did say partly cloudy with a chance of an amazing, beautiful front moving across the land.

Shanna Moakler believes her boobs are for adults only ... not babies ... telling TMZ she views the act of breastfeeding as "incestual" and "gross."

Moakler -- who has three kids -- was leaving a birthday party at the Emerson Theatre in Los Angeles when she explained, "I just look at my breasts as, like, sexual."

There's something or someone hidden in this pic of Kourtney Kardashian -- but this is a tough one. Ya might wanna just give up ... or watch the clip for the answer.

Making love to Oprah Winfrey is a life-changing experience ... so says Terrence Howard, who claims the best part about doing a sex scene with the Big O in their upcoming movie was her "tig ol' bitties."

Seriously, Terrence said that in a recent interview with Movie Fanatic, in which he talks about his and Oprah's love-making scene in "The Butler," slated for release later this year.

Terrence -- who plays Oprah's neighbor in the movie -- said, "Oprah and I had such chemistry. To be able to make out with Oprah and to have love scenes with her and those tig ol' bitties ... She's such a lovely, voluptuous woman ... That was wonderful."

IS NOTHING SACRED???

It seems like only yesterday, Kourtney Kardashian was self-delivering baby Mason from her lady parts in front of the reality show cameras ... and look at him now!

No seriously, try to look at him ... bet you didn't even realize there was a child in this picture.

JWoww recently stepped out in Atlantic City in a very revealing dress, and proved her boob job is just like A.C. -- totally awesome! Or terrible ... depends on your angle.

Adding to the "Jersey Shore" star's understated glamour were exposed bad tats, a surgical scar and black fabric loosely strung on to resemble some sort of dress shorts thing.

Good thing body checking's legal in hockey ... because Wayne Gretzky's smoking hot daughter Paulina showed off her overflowing bosom last night in L.A. ... and everyone was looking.

24-year-old Paulina's breasts made their appearance at Bootsy Bellows nightclub -- somehow strapped inside a tiny red dress.

Remind us ... what's the penalty for high-sticking?

Baby got back ... or is it front? Are those buxom breasts or a bootylicious badonkadonk?

Deena Cortese from "Jersey Shore" can settle down ... the doppelganger whose boobs whipped up a Mardi Gras crowd says she -- and her tatas -- weren't trying to impersonate Deena. Or her yabos.

The look-alike flasher in question, Ashley Austin, tells TMZ she meant no ill will toward the 'JS' star ... claiming, "I personally really like Deena, and had no intentions of giving her a bad rap!"

TMZ broke the story ... Ashley flashed a New Orleans crowd and several cameras -- pissing off the real Deena, who fears the video will ruin her chances of getting on "Dancing with the Stars."

By the way, Ashley claims she "had no idea" she was being recorded, which is funny ... since she's looking DIRECTLY at the camera.

Then again ... lots of people forget things during Mardi Gras.