DUI

Flipping off cops, knocking over parking cones and annoying every friend she's ever had -- this girl unleashed a new breed of drunk insanity.

TMZ has obtained an open letter sent to celebrity handlers and publicists, including reps for Britney, Lindsay and Paris, explaining that the NLA has more than 2,300 members -- and that finding a limo or town car over the holidays is not exactly rocket science. Plus, it reminds them that the fee for even a stretch limo is still far less than "DUI fees." Amen and hallelujah!

TMZ caught the allegedly rehabbed train wreck outside of Les Deux over the weekend, where she was rambling about Vince McMahon not accepting her offer to take her on -- while she was simultaneously denied a kiss from a bystander.

After an "American Beauty" inspired make-out session with a valet, the rose-eating woman was cited for walking into the street -- and then placed in a police cruiser after she couldn't come up with her ID.

While the last drunk girl encountered by TMZ screamed bloody murder when she was arrested, this lovely lass was in heaven, screaming, "Little do you know, I enjoy all of this ... I have a cop fetish!"

That's just 84 minutes, two more minutes than Nicole Richie!

The time served was related to her wild DUI escapades this past July, when she commandeered a car in Santa Monica and took three young men on a wild high-speed chase.

Jose Lambiet of the Palm Beach Post broke the story this morning. Lambiet says a local paparazzo was on the lookout for Jennifer Lopez, who was in town for her concert when he bumped into Rourke and an unidentified woman around 2:00 AM walking into a nightclub.

"They came back out two hours later and crossed Washington Avenue to go to his scooter," the photog said. "They both got on it, and he did a U-turn to go north. He was pulled over within a block. "The cop says to him: 'You swerved right in front of me.' And Mickey answered: 'No, no, dude, I'm all right.'"

According to the police report, Rourke asked the cop, "What the f*** did I do?!" Cops say the actor's "face" was flushed, his eyes were bloodshot and watery and his speech was slurred. "I'm not drunk, I didn't even drink that much," Rourke said, according to the report. Barfly!

He was booked into the Miami-Dade Pre-trial Detention Center around 9:30 AM and is being held on $1,000 bond.

Let's hope he doesn't get sentenced to 9 1/2 weeks!

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This girl, who was arrested for allegedly battering a security guard, could have a great future as "Victim #2" in a horror movie ... if she ever gets outta jail!

The impaired duo took turns lifting their dresses and slapping each other's behinds while the men around them drooled. Even comedian Godfrey gets in on the action, looking like he's trying to restrain himself from completely grabbing some of the exposed goodies.

These women have the kind of class you just can't buy ... but can rent.

Tracy Morgan has completed his probation for DUI, and has been cleared for removing his SCRAM alcohol monitoring anklet too early.

TMZ was in court today, where a Los Angeles County Judge told Morgan's attorney, Blair Berk, his "probation terms have been fulfilled." Before making his decision, the judge looked over several letters submitted by medical doctors, and a letter from the SCRAM company verifying a medical issue. The court was given five photos showing proof of Morgan's medical problem, which caused him to remove the SCRAM early. As of now, we do not know the exact nature of the ailment.

TMZ was outside of Virgin Megastore in Times Square last night, where a few obsessed BSB fans were already lined up for tonight's record signing -- including a team of wasted, red-headed, Irish soccer players.

After singing a sloppy rendition of "I Want It That Way," the guys proceeded to strip off most of their clothes -- thankfully leaving boxers intact -- and even had a jig-filled dance-off with a homeless man. Way to break down those Irish stereotypes!

The possessed "Child's Play" toy was outside of Area -- where he let his love of four-letter words fly while taking pictures with a few female friends.

He left with a car full of ladies -- guess his classy pick-up line, "I am Chucky and I'ma bite your ass!" sounded appealing.

Britney Spears was pulled over by an L.A. Sheriff last night -- and while she got off with just a warning, the scene around the car was complete insanity.

TMZ caught Spears and ex-assistant/"cousin" Alli Sims leaving Winston's late Monday night, where the two were quickly pulled over for a minor infraction, nothing serious. Brit wasn't driving, but it was her Pumpkinmobile, and Alli can be heard telling the officer, "We'll get one this week, she just got this." It's unclear what was said, but It appears that Brit's temporary tags might have expired.

After the officer walked away from the vehicle, a drunk guy started shaking his booty against Brit's window, with Spears looking extremely confused (more so than usual) as he kept dancing. A screaming match broke out in front of the car too. Gimme more crazazy!

Tracy Morgan didn't wear his alcohol monitoring bracelet for the full 90 days, and now he claims that a medical issue is the reason.

TMZ has learned that Morgan's attorney, Blair Berk, appeared in a Los Angeles County courtroom today and explained that Morgan took off his SCRAM bracelet early because of an undisclosed medical condition.

Berk will present specifics to the court on October 30.

Spirited Swanson started off by giving a detailed description of the event -- "The Scream Awards, are ... it's like screaming, crazy!" -- before hugging every security guard (some more than once) she could get her hands on.

Let's see Sarah Michelle Gellar do that!

TMZ caught the giggly actress donating money to the dog of a man in need. Yes, the dog. Wonder what put her in such a happy mood? Nicole then happily flipped off cameras and jibber-jabbed about J.Lo's pregnancy and working on TV pilots.

It's so nice to see a together, healthy and upbeat former child star out having a good time.