Hook Ups

James Holmes is boyfriend material -- that's the shocker a Match.com member says she got when she logged on Friday afternoon to see the site suggesting she hook up with the man accused of killing 12 people in the Colorado movie massacre.

Diana (who asked us not to use her last name) tells TMZ she was floored when she saw Holmes' profile among her matches -- less than a day after the shootings -- saying it was "pretty scary getting matched to a mass murderer."

Diana says the profile said James hadn't visited the site in the last 24 hours, so it clearly had been created before the shootings. The profile also has the same tagline from James' adultfinder.com profile -- "Will you visit me in prison?"

Diana says she informed Match.com of the profile and they said they'd take it down, which Diana says they did minutes later. She took a few screen shots before it was deleted.

Holmes' profile included:

-- Favorite movies: "Too many good movies to have a favorite, maybe Dumb and Dumber, Hachiko, Star Wars, etc."
-- Favorite book: Where's Waldo?
-- "You should message me if you're interested, obviously. Or lookin' for sexy times. Very nice!"
-- Political views: Middle of the road
-- Faith: Agnostic
-- "I spend a lot of time thinking about the future. Mind = blown"

Jeff Goldblum is living the dream and holding on to the dog days of summer ... and to his much younger girlfriend's ass.

While vacationing in St. Barts on Wednesday, the 59-year-old shirtless stud enjoyed a very hands-on day in the sun with his bikini-clad 29-year-old piece Emilie Livingston.

When you're a mac daddy like Goldblum, life really is a day at the beach.

It's getting really serious between George Clooney and Stacy Keibler ... 'cause the lovebirds have taken their relationship to the next level ... and flown out both of their parents to Clooney's home in Italy.

While entertaining their 'rents, Stacy and her folks were spotted having ice cream in Lake Como (top) as George and his mom and pop (bottom) walked around town on Tuesday.

This is the first time we can remember seeing Clooney and his parents hanging out with one of George's special ladies and her family.

So we gotta ask ...

Arnold Schwarzenegger has accepted that his marriage is over ... and we know this because he was all over a 25-year-old chick at a party over the weekend.

Arnold was at Bagatelle restaurant in West Hollywood Friday night and lasered in on a 25-ish-year-old brunette. The 64-year-old actor quickly made his move ... with his tongue.

But all good things -- like marriages -- must come to an end, and Arnold and the chick left separately. On his way out, photogs asked him about Sage Stallone and eventually fired off a question about the chick ... but he wasn't in the mood to kiss and tell.

As for his divorce, we're told it's definitely going to happen. But here's the twist ... After the story broke that Arnold fathered the maid's kid and Maria Shriver filed for divorce, he begged Maria to take him back, but she threw up roadblocks, demanding that he clean up his act. On top of that, Maria changed her mind constantly -- one day wanting a divorce and the next wanting to reconcile.

Now we're told Arnold wants the divorce and Maria is the one who's tormented ... because she wants him back, but it's not going to happen.

Sources tell us both Arnold and Maria are now resigned to divorce, which should be official soon.

He's suspended from the NFL ... his marriage is crumbling ... but former New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton is bumpin' and grindin' away his pain in the Bahamas with a hot blonde -- and TMZ has the footage.

The disgraced Super Bowl champ was hanging out at the nightclub at the Atlantis Resort last Friday ... hittin' the dance floor HARD.

After spending some time gettin' funky with himself, Payton posted up behind a hot blonde lady ... before the two disappeared into the crowd.

Payton recently filed for divorce from his wife of 20 years, citing "discord or conflict of personalities."

Seal's officially done mourning the death of his marriage to Heidi Klum ... 'cause the singer has moved on to a smokin' hot brunette who looks damn good in a bikini ... and TMZ has the pics.

Just 3 months after Heidi filed for divorce, an extra-sweaty Seal was spotted on a yacht in Italy this week ... gettin' all kissy kissy with a mystery babe after a quick workout session on the deck.

There was cuddling ... there was smiling ... but there was no sign of Seal's wedding ring.

TMZ broke the story, Heidi decided to break off the marriage because she got sick of Seal's explosive temper. The couple later released a joint statement saying they had simply "grown apart."

Meanwhile, Heidi ain't lookin' so bad either ... and made sure the world knew it on July 4th ... when she tweeted out this photo of her insane supermodel physique.

Damn.

Howie Mandel summoned cops early this morning because it sounded to him like people were having sex in his bathroom ... TMZ has learned.

Want to know more? Well Howie was having a 4th of July party at his Calabasas home and it lasted ... well, into the 5th of July. At around 1 AM, he walked past his bathroom and heard the sounds of sex.

Ever the cautious person, Howie thought it might have been a sexual assault, so he called 911.

Police came, interviewed the 2 subjects -- a male and female ... both 21 -- and they confessed they had a few libations and got carried away.

We're not saying the dude has premature issues, but those cops must have really responded quickly.

Taylor Swift might have a new love story in the works ... 'cause the country superstar spent a romantic 4th of July on the beach with Arnold Schwarzenegger's son.

22-year-old Taylor and 18-year-old Patrick Schwarzenegger were spotted in Massachusetts together ... laughing ... and at one point, taking a private stroll along the beach.

We're told the two were also seen with several members of the Kennedy family.

Marc Anthony isn't just on good terms with his estranged wife Jennifer Lopez ... he's also on good terms with the guy who's bangin' her ... at least judging by this photo.

TMZ has obtained a photo of Casper Smart in a great, big bro hug with Marc at a private airport in NY yesterday.

We're told the kids -- Emme and Max -- have been hangin' with J.Lo and Casper during the most recent leg of Jenny's international tour ... and when they arrived back in the States on Monday, daddy was right there to greet them.

Since getting arrested for cocaine possession and checking into rehab earlier this year, fashion mogul Calvin Klein's ex-boyfriend Nick Gruber has really changed his ways .... he's now sucking face with chicks.

The 22-year-old former gay porn star was spotted holding hands and kissing Chelsea Heath -- who is female -- on the beach in Marina del Rey this weekend.

Just like CK One, Nick is for men and women.

Octomom's new boyfriend has proved he's willing to date ANYONE for a shot at fame ... because he whored himself out on a dating show right before he hooked up with Nadya Suleman -- and TMZ has the footage.

Frankie G -- who has been dating Octo for a couple of months now -- was a contestant earlier this year on a show called "Who Wants to Date a Comedian?"

During the show, Frankie shamelessly competes against two other guys for camera time to win the affections of a comediane named Marla Schultz. Frankie said he works as an EMT and does some "exotic dancing" on the side.

Marla ended up picking Frankie, but it clearly wasn't for his brains -- check out the video to watch him butcher the phrase "more cushion for the pushin'."

It's not easy to arrange a date with your boyfriend when you have 14 children ... but Octomom finally pulled it off this week and enjoyed her first real excursion with her new man.

As TMZ first reported, Octo and Frankie G (a 23-year-old bodybuilder) have been dating for the past two months.

But the pair had not been able to partake in an outing on their own until this week, when Frankie surprised Octo by getting a friend to watch the kids so he could take her to Will Rogers Beach in Santa Monica.

The two worked out together on the beach as Frankie has been training her to get Octo in shape for her upcoming strip club appearance at The Playhouse in Hollywood, FL on July 13.

One of the stars of the movie "Ted" is quickly emerging as a sex symbol ... but it ain't Mark Wahlberg ... it's the stuffed animal.

Turns out, Ted has become a breakout star in the Plushie community ... a group of people with a fetish for stuffed animals and things of the furry sort.

In fact, "Ted" creator Seth MacFarlane has already been contacted by a XXX website that's popular with Plushies, Clips4Sale.com, in the hopes they can acquire the rights to use Ted's image and make him the site's new mascot.

The site fired off a letter to Seth saying, "Not since Alf has there been this kind of excitement over a stuffed animal."

The letter continues, "We are very serious and would like to engage in talks with you at your earliest convenience."

Octomom -- the woman who said she's been celibate for the last 13 years ... and planned to stay that way until her kids reached 18 -- now has her very own BOYFRIEND ... and TMZ has the video evidence.

36-year-old Nadya Suleman arrived at LAX moments ago and her new boyfriend Frankie G picked her up outside. Frankie -- a 23-year-old amateur bodybuilder -- even gave her a peck on the lips when she arrived.

Sources tell us the couple's been dating about two months and it's getting serious -- but the best part ... when we asked Octo how they met ... the burgeoning porn star replied, "Through church." She wasn't kidding either.

It's all pretty crazy -- because back in March, Octomom told Closer magazine, "I’ve been celibate for 13 years and plan to remain so until the octuplets are 18." She insisted, “Men love me, but I will be celibate for the next 15 years."

Mila Kunis insists they're just friends ... but last night in L.A., the actress hit up a romantic Italian restaurant with her former "That 70s Show" co-star Ashton Kutcher -- and they even left in the same car.

The two have been rumored to be secretly dating for months -- but Mila adamantly denies they're anything more than platonic pals ... who eat out together alone ... and go on romantic weekend trips to quaint little towns.

It's extremely suspicious ... so we gotta ask ...

Mel Gibson's on a roll ... a week after getting up close and personal with Maria Menounos -- the actor surfaced by the beach in L.A., planting a big smooch on an unidentified woman.

The photo was snapped yesterday outside a beach house in Santa Monica.

Mel's been on a tear in the lady department recently -- sweeping Maria Menounos off her feet at her 34th birthday party last Sunday in Encino ... literally.

Mel was even spotted last month at a Victoria's Secret party in Beverly Hills -- chatting up a mystery blonde.