Hot Mamas

The environmental effects wreaked on the ecosystem are still unknown after a somewhat pale Tanning Mom aka Patricia Krentcil attempted to bronze her luscious droopy topless flesh, balloon knot belly button and tatted up vadge in an unfortunate silver bikini on a quarantined New Jersey beach yesterday.

Since getting off the hook for allegedly bringing her 5-year-old into a tanning booth, Patty -- who says she's 45 years old -- is now choosing to shrivel up like a raisin with the help of the natural sun.

Either Kim Kardashian has werewolf blood or her pregnancy has triggered a serious regrowth of body hair ... TMZ has learned.

Kim -- the Armenian poster child for laser body hair removal -- has famously zapped virtually every follicle from the neck down -- but sources close to the reality star tell TMZ, her pregnancy hormones have reawakened the slumbering beast.

We're told Kim has recently been forced to wax -- something she hasn't done in years -- and she's already made appointments to get the new hair growth re-lasered after she gives birth.

FYI, increased hair growth is extremely common during pregnancy ... Drew Barrymore even admitted she grew a small goatee while she was knocked up. It happens.

But in Kim's case ... they might want to break out the lawn mower.

Just two months after suffering a heart attack, Sylvester Stallone's unbelievable mother Jackie Stallone resurfaced on her two feet ... shopping for discount groceries at a 99 Cent store in L.A. on Monday.

Taking a cue from her buff "Rocky" star son, the on the mend 91-year-old celebrity astrologer proved to be a true fighter as she stocked her cart with cheap, healthy fruits and vegetables just weeks after her health scare.

Absolutely nothing can keep Jackie away from a good bargain.

Heather Locklear has loads of advice on how to look young ... no, it's not Botox, but it does involve a shot to the face.

It's unclear if Heather is talking about a cream product ... or just an ingredient. It's also unclear if she practices what she preaches and if it works.

The latest version of Snooki was unveiled at the MTV Movie Awards in L.A. on Sunday.

While you may only have about a month to get ready for bikini season, some of Hollywood's hottest babes are always ready to go two pieces.

How did Halle Berry's pregnant belly go from baby bump to bustin' out in just a few days? It's simple -- popcorn! Umm ... we'll let the little guy who knows zero about birthing babies explain that one.

Just like a batch of gorgeous Jiffy Pop popcorn, mom-to-be Halle Berry's baby bump is blowin' up.

While barely showing any overt signs during the last few weeks, the beautiful three-plus months preggers 46-year-old heated up the premiere of her latest bomb, "The Call", in Rio on Thursday ... and showed off her suddenly huge Halle belly.

Farrah Abraham is finally copping to shooting a full-on porn -- with A-list porn star James Deen -- but says even though it was intended for her personal scrapbook ... she's willing to sell it for $2 million.

The ex-"Teen Mom" star's reason for shooting the XXX video is simply the best ... telling TMZ she wanted to immortalize her smokin' hot 21-year-old body -- for her personal collection -- so she could look back on it when she's old.

Guess Olan Mills was booked?

Farrah, who initially denied a sex tape existed, says she's pissed at her penis-for-hire -- because Deen let the cat out of the bag ... telling our camera guy the whole staged shoot was Farrah's idea.

Farrah says she wants nothing to do with Deen now (we suspect that's mutual) and took a parting shot, telling us -- "If my ex-boyfriend Derek were alive, I would've rather it had been him with me."

Farrah's baby daddy Derek Underwood died in a car accident in 2008.

As for the sex vid going public ... Farrah says her lawyer is dealing with a porn company, and she "will not be settling for anything less than a couple million" bucks.

Kim Kardashian gets almost as many headlines as that other Kim -- so, we're thinking Kim Jong Un should just get knocked up by a rapper. Beats launching World War III ... just sayin'.

Bogus sex tape peddler Farrah Abraham just can't hide it anymore ... her breasts that is.

Abraham went frolicking on an L.A. beach earlier today in a barely-there bikini, where she celebrated the imminent release of her totally-staged "sex tape" with porn star James Deen.

TMZ broke the story ... Deen blew the lid off Farrah's sex tape plot yesterday ... telling us he was approached by a porn company to stage the sex tape over the weekend ... and that Farrah was behind the whole thing.

And we're not complaining ... at all.

Katherine Heigl took time out from making horrible romantic comedies and showed off two gorgeous reasons why she should still be cast in more films.

The 34-year-old former television actress poured herself into a golden yellow bikini top to tan her blockbuster lady curves in Cabo on Monday.

As long as it doesn't mean any sequels to "27 Dresses," "The Ugly Truth," "Killers," "Life As We Know It," "New Year's Eve," or "One for the Money," we'd all love to see more of Kat.

It's baby bump's first red carpet ... as a glowing, newly pregnant Halle Berry showed off her growing belly -- and sexy legs -- at the premiere of her new movie "The Call" in Buenos Aires on Monday.

As TMZ first reported, the 46-year-old is three months pregnant with her first child with fiance Olivier Martinez and has learned she is having a boy. Halle already has adorable 5-year-old Nahla from her previous relationship with Gabriel Aubry.

Don't cry for her Argentina ... well, unless you go see "The Call."

Pregnancy is HELL, so says Snooki ... who tells TMZ the process of childbearing is much more disgusting than everyone makes it out to be.

The slimmed-down "Jersey Shore" star was hangin' at LAX -- sans her baby daddy Jionni and her baby Lorenzo -- when we asked if she planned to bang out another kid anytime soon.

"Yeah, I want one right now, but it's just not the right time," Snooki said ... adding, "We're gonna try to plan this one."

Chris Bosh's wife Adrienne hit a Caribbean beach with their adorable 11-month-old son -- who was udderly overshadowed by his mom's booty-FILLED bikini.

It's twue, it's twue ... it's reawwy twue ... James Deen's gargantuan penis IS the co-star in the Farrah Abraham sex tape ... at least according to James Deen.

Deen -- a professional porn star -- tells TMZ, "Word travels fast ... it isn't even edited yet. We shot it yesterday."

When asked if the two were dating, based on the fact they were seen holding hands yesterday, Deen said, "Definitely not dating. Got tested together on Friday and then saw her on set. That is my only experience with the lady."

As we first reported, the XXX footage is being shopped around to various porno companies -- including Vivid. We spoke to Vivid honcho Steve Hirsch who tells us he's seen the entire tape and says, "It's amazing ... and I'm doing everything in my power to get the rights to put it out."

Note -- if you don't get the first line in this post, you should really watch "Blazing Saddles."