Exclusives

The woman who played the original Samantha Jones came out swinging at LaGuardia, telling our camera guy, "Don't even mention them" -- and adding the GGs are on another level because "Our humor is much better than that."

So we gotta ask ...

Sources say Michael Jr., Paris and Prince were taken to the happiest place on Earth (the one in California) last Thursday by Michael's brother Jackie. While they were there, we're told the kids were shown a screening of "Captain EO" -- which the Mouse stopped playing in 1998 -- and "they loved" it.

According to Disney blog MiceAge.com, the kids were able to see the movie because on Tuesday, the "Honey I Shrunk the Audience show was quietly closed, and Imagineers moved in with a truckload of equipment used to install the Captain EO show for a special executive presentation."

After Heche famously blasted her "lazy ass" ex on Letterman, the former couple agreed to get a "parenting plan coordinator" -- a highly paid court-ordered chaperone -- who will help them play nice for the sake of their son, Homer.

The coordinator will make $375 per-hour to do the following things:

-- Coach the parents on effective co-parenting
-- Help the parents make joint parenting decisions
-- Resolve disputes between the parents concerning the court-ordered parenting plan

Both Anne and Coley signed off on the deal -- which will remain in effect until May 1, 2011.

Good luck, parenting lady.

TMZ has obtained the audiotape of President Barack Obama calling Kanye West a "jackass" for hijacking Taylor Swift's acceptance speech during the VMAs.

The audio was recorded just before Obama went on camera to do an interview with CNBC. Before the interview began, Obama -- referring to Kanye's antics on stage -- said "I thought that was really inappropriate," then adding, "He's a jackass."

After making the remarks, Obama said "Where's the pool?" Presumably, he was worried the joke would go wide. He noted the last time that happened, he got burned for killing a fly.

Obama said, "Cut the President some slack."

Greg Crowder and Tony Freitas just filed a lawsuit against NBC Universal, claiming they gave a script titled "The Truth" to Scott Bernstein in 2006 -- when Scott was VP of Production for Universal Pictures.

In the federal lawsuit filed by the screenwriters' lawyer, Ed McPherson, Crowder claims he had multiple meetings with Bernstein about the script -- but Bernstein told Crowder it needed a rewrite before Universal would buy it. Crowder said he'd rewrite it but only if Universal paid. Bernstein wouldn't pay so the deal fell apart.

Fast forward to 2009 ... Crowder says he submitted the script to another film company, who told him they were "concerned that [he] might have stolen" the script from the upcoming Jennifer Aniston/Aaron Eckhart project called "Love Happens." The suit says it was the other way around.

According to the suit, Dr. Klein claims Dr. Hoefflin told The Sun in the minutes following Jackson's death, "[Dr. Conrad] Murray definitely called Klein because Klein taught him how to administer Propofol ... Murray would have counted on Klein to be the source of Propofol and guide him on its use."

The personal chef who sued Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour just hit the smallest jackpot we've ever seen in a celebrity lawsuit -- a pair of old sneakers and some gas money!

As TMZ first reported, the chef filed suit against Simon and Terri earlier this month, claiming the "American Idol" judge wouldn't return her running shoes -- equipped with $500 orthopedic insoles. The chef claims Terri made her remove the shoes before entering Cowell's Hollywood Hills mansion.

But yesterday, Team Simon and the chef reached a settlement -- the chef got her shoes back ... plus around $75 in court costs ... and $9 for the gas!

We just spoke to the chef, who told us, "I got my shoes back ... yayyyyyyy!"

Case closed.

Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer yesterday in L.A., he was 57.

There's a new drug problem in the U.S. -- Propofol.

We've called a bunch of hospitals and anesthesiologists who tell us ... since Michael Jackson's death a number of patients were worried sick about being put under with Propofol. The docs have had to walk their patients through the procedures they use to ensure safety.

We're told some patients are outright refusing to be put under with the drug that killed M.J.

The medical experts we've spoken with say Propofol is a great drug that is relatively safe when administered properly -- that was clearly not the case with Jackson.

"Top Model" semi-finalist Brittany "Bre" Scullark better practice smiling with her eyes -- for the judge.

Police tell TMZ the Cycle 5 contestant was arrested in NYC Monday for disorderly conduct after getting into it with a woman at a local Starbucks -- a woman who claims Bre took her laptop and wouldn't give it back.

We're told Scullark was at the coffee shop and picked up a computer which wasn't hers -- thinking it belonged to a family member. When the owner asked for it back, Bre got rowdy and started cussing her out, insisting it was a relative's.

Bre was taken into police custody and issued a court summons.

She'll appear before a judge at a later date.

Sources tell us when Jay arrived at the ASICS after party at the 40/40 Club -- which he owns -- on Sunday night, he pulled the uniformed crew from the line outside to walk the red carpet with him.

After that, we're told Jay brought them inside the club and hooked them up with full VIP treatment.

Yesterday in D.C., Congressman Jim Moran (D, VA) slammed Representative Joe Wilson, saying, "Joe exposed himself to everyone for who he is .... I don't think he ever would have behaved in that disrespectful a way towards any other president, which tells you something about him, doesn't it?"

As soon as the VMAs ended, Beyonce Knowles wasted no time distancing herself from Kanye West's infamous hissy fit -- we're told Bey's camp almost "immediately" approached Taylor Swift to make sure she was okay.

Taylor's rep tells us Beyonce's father Mathew Knowles approached Taylor outside her dressing room once her subway car performance was over.

We're told Mathew wanted to make sure Taylor was doing fine after West's diss -- and they even discussed ways to make up for it.

Taylor's rep tells us the singer was mainly upset because she wasn't able to thank her fans for voting for her -- which was eventually made right when Beyonce invited her back on stage to finish what she started.

Taylor's reps tell us she had never met Beyonce or Kanye before the last night's weirdness went down.

Susan Boyle finally went to Disneyland.

Sources at the Happiest Place on Earth tell us Boyle's favorite ride was, of course, "It's a Small World." She had a churro for the first time, which she loved, and compared British accents with the Alice in Wonderland and Mad Hatter characters.

We're also told several onlookers mistook Boyle for Julia Child -- who has been dead since 2004 -- seriously.

One of the guys who was allegedly held at gunpoint when OJ Simpson tried getting his stuff back is now suing the jailed killer, claiming he suffered multiple heart attacks as a result of the robbery and that Simpson is responsible.

Bruce Fromong filed the personal injury lawsuit in Las Vegas. Fromong is a memorabilia dealer who had some of Simpson's stuff in a Las Vegas hotel room when OJ came a callin'.

Fromong claims as a result of Simpson's violent rampage, he suffered "great bodily injury." Fromong's lawyer tells us the "great bodily injury" is several heart attacks. He's suing for infliction of emotional distress, negligence as well as assault and battery.

Fromong is suing for unspecified compensatory and punitive damages. OJ's assets are sketchy, but we're told Fromong is banking on Simpson's homeowners policy paying the damages.

By the way, we called Simpson a killer because a civil jury found he slaughtered Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson. We also called him a killer because he's a killer.

Donald Trump himself is calling for a boycott of Kanye West, calling his antics last night "disgusting."

Trump tells TMZ he wants to boycott all things Kanye "so this kind of thing doesn't happen again."

Trump also thinks Kanye's hijack to honor Beyonce was B.S. -- "He couldn't care less about Beyonce. It was grandstanding to get attention."