Humor

Norm Macdonald says the security guard who violently took out the Ryan Lochte protester at "Dancing with the Stars" is just like Ray Lewis ... except he didn't kill anyone.

Norm was at LAX with Fred Stoller when we showed them the crazy video of the Lochte incident ... and that's when Norm did what Norm does, he cracked a hilarious joke.

For the record ... Ray was charged with murder back in 2000 following an incident after a Super Bowl party in Atlanta. But the charge was dismissed and he later pled guilty to obstruction of justice.

How much Shaq is too much Shaq???

When you can see all of his man junk flopping around in his undies ... so says Teyana Taylor and Iman Shumpert.

Of course, Shaq recently spoofed Teyana's insanely hot routine in Kanye's "Fade" video -- dancing around in his underwear just like Teyana.

The good news ... Teyana and Iman LOVED the dancing.

The bad news ... they hated the ultra-revealing outfit.

One thing we can all agree on ... you should probably watch the original "Fade" video again.

Shaq and Shaunie O'Neal are proving the best fights come AFTER marriage ... 'cause the big fella is DOUBLING DOWN on his NBA prediction for their sons ... despite the objections of mama.

You'd think Lakers star D'Angelo Russell would catch a break at his home court ... instead, he caught a bunch of crap on the way into the Drake concert.

As the 20-year-old walked into Staples Center, a couple of hecklers yelled at him-- "Hide your phone!"

At first, it seemed Russell was going to ignore it -- but moments later, stuck his head back outside the door and yelled something back at the guys.

Our photog says it sounded like he said, "Eat a d**k."

Ann Coulter got the shaft on the "Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe" -- not because every celeb on the dais ripped her to shreds -- but because Comedy Central made it seem like her jokes bombed.

That's Ann's version of what went down during the taping, anyway. She came on "TMZ Live" to talk about the beating she took -- even a few liberals have sympathy for the conservative lightning rod in the aftermath of the show.

Coulter told us she wrote her own jokes and claims she got plenty of laughs in the room -- but she has a theory on why that laughter was missing from the final cut.

Lena Dunham is explaining herself after catching heat for an interview in which she paints Odell Beckham as a superficial, sex-obsessed jock who blew her off at the Met Gala.

Dunham was doing an interview with Amy Schumer in which she described sitting next to Odell at the hoity-toity NYC event back in May.

"I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards. He was like, "That's a marshmallow. That's a child. That's a dog." It wasn't mean -- he just seemed confused."

"The vibe was very much like, 'Do I want to f*** it? Is it wearing a ... yep, it's wearing a tuxedo. I'm going to go back to my cell phone."

"It was like we were forced to be together, and he literally was scrolling Instagram rather than have to look at a woman in a bow tie. I was like, 'This should be called the Metropolitan Museum of Getting Rejected by Athletes.'"

Dunham has been catching heat on social media from people accusing her of unfairly portraying the NY Giants star.

To that, Lena says ... she can explain.

"[Odell Beckham] is talented, stylish, seems super awesome and wasn't into chatting with me at a fancy party."

"My story about him was clearly (to me) about my own insecurities as an average-bodied woman at a table of supermodels & athletes."

"It's not an assumption about who he is or an expectation of sexual attention. It's my sense of humor, which has kept me alive for 30 years."

So far, no word from Odell.

New York Knicks star Brandon Jennings says there's only one thing he loves more than Colin Kaepernick's $1 million charity pledge ... HIS SWEET ASS AFRO!!!

Jennings is speaking for millions of people who fell in love with Kaep's 'do Thursday night ... a 'do that sparked a trending hashtag on black twitter ... #KapSoBlack.

Seriously, go to Twitter right now and type in the hashtag for gems like ..

"#KapSoBlack he only watches Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episodes with the dark skinned Aunt Viv in 'em."

"#KapSoBlackhe's actually @Rodney_Harrison's father."

"#KapSoBlack he wears these to the church picnic ..."

You knew it was gonna happen ... comics ripping Peyton Manning so badly, producers had to cut some of the racier jokes out of the "Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe."

Well, good news ... David Spade is revealing some of HIS Manning zingers that were deemed too hot for the actual show (which airs on Labor Day) ... and they're pretty hilarious.

Who woulda thunk it ... Shaquille O'Neal found a lost wallet on the ground that belonged to none other than ... David Beckham!!

Apologies to Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose, but Dan Bilzerian's about to blow up their playbook by unleashing a set of R-rated emojis no other celeb would dare to do. Well, maybe Charlie Sheen.

We don't know how he got these past quality control at Apple and Google, but his "Bilzerian's Blitzmoji" set are going live today. Check out the gallery of Dan's faves: chicks, bikinis, guns, drugs, money and Zeus ... his pet goat, not the God.

There's even one honoring that time Dan hurled a porn star off a roof.

Order up, bros ... while you can.

Simone Biles is the greatest gymnast in the world ... but even she couldn't avoid taking a spill because of those damn high heels.

Nick Cannon is ALMOST living the plot of his movie "Drumline" now that he's an actual freshman in college ... it's just missing one thing.

We got Nick at Dulles Airport, and he told us the real reason he's enrolled at Howard University. Turns out he's working on an interesting major ... as far as TMZ's concerned.

Anthony Anderson should have a major advantage over Stevie Wonder when it comes to shooting hoops ... but throw in a blindfold and all bets are off.

They were both at a charity basketball tourney Sunday in L.A. ... when Anthony challenged Stevie to an impromptu free throw contest. AA put a blindfold on to level the playing field, and yeah -- it went about as well as you'd expect.

Check out the crowd of more than 500 people showing love for Stevie. We can't really say either guy won, but one of them did get closer to the hoop.

Peyton Manning dragged Tom Brady into his comedy act at the Rob Lowe roast -- firing a zinger at the Patriots QB over the whole Deflategate scandal.

Manning was talking about Rob Lowe's famous 2012 blunder -- where Lowe erroneously tweeted out that Peyton would be announcing his retirement. Obviously, he did not.

Enter Peyton at the Roast ... when he turned to Lowe and said, "You tried to take the air out of my retirement announcement so fast, you can probably get a job as Tom Brady's ball boy."

Funny ... even Tom's gotta laugh at that ... right?

Stand-up comedian Jim Jefferies can't understand why his home country is so backwards when it comes to gay marriage, and yet so "super gay" ... as he puts it.

We got Jim at LAX, and asked what Australia could learn from the U.S., and he went off on a rant about its failure to change the law on same sex marriages.