Humor

Kevin Smith and Ben Affleck used to be tight -- ya might even say like Batman and Robin -- but something's changed.

We got Kevin out in NYC and, naturally, we hopped on 2 of his fave topics -- Batman and Ben. Then came the shocker about how long it's been since they bro'd down.

Check out the vid ... Kevin also dropped a few suggestions for who could be the NEXT Batman. He wasn't taking a shot at the current one.

Peyton Manning's got one HUGE obstacle to overcome if he wants to slay at the "Comedy Central Roast" of Rob Lowe -- but Jeff Ross says the QB is already showing serious promise.

"Athletes are funny, but they don't always take a joke well," Ross told us at The Comedy Store in L.A.

"They're usually very sensitive."

FYI, several athletes have been featured on 'Roasts' in the past -- including Warren Sapp, Mike Tyson and Shaq.

The good news for Manning ... Ross says Peyton has already proved he has thick skin -- and expects nothing less than hilarity when #18 takes the stage.

What happens when you get to your cageside seats at UFC 202 -- and Mike Tyson's sitting in 'em???

That's the question Kanye West had to ask himself when that happened to him at the Conor McGregor vs. Nate Diaz fight in Vegas this past weekend.

FS1's Skip Bayless says he saw the entire thing go down -- because he was sitting right behind Kanye's reserved seats.

But what transpired wasn't a fistfight ... one of the stars backed off in a big way -- and it wasn't who you think it would be.

Lindsey Vonn's dog chewed up her workout pants over the weekend ... but she didn't realize it until it was too late.

Lindsey posted the pic on social media and wrote, "I love Mondays...especially when you get to the gym and your trainer starts laughing at you because your dog ate your pants...literally."

Ruff morning.

Peyton Manning got himself a job this NFL season after all ... ROASTER ... and his target will be Rob Lowe.

The ex-QB will be on the dais during the "Comedy Central Roast" of Peyton's fellow DirecTV pitchman -- which airs on Labor Day.

David Spade will serve as Roast Master -- and will get some help from his old "Tommy Boy" co-star Bo Derek.

Keri Hilson forgets the world's watching her social media ... at least that's her explanation for flaunting her, umm ... popsicle eating skills.

We caught up with Keri Tuesday at LAX and eased into the convo -- about the hypnotizing Snapchat vid she posted in June. Her fans, and others, were buzzing about it, but Keri never discussed what the hell she was doing. After all, she was in the middle of shopping when it went down ... so to speak.

Well, here's the full story. Hint: booze was involved. Also, she admits it could happen again ... not that anyone's complaining.

How cool is this ... Michael Phelps and Katie Ledecky recreating that famous 2006 autograph photo -- IN REVERSE!

Bad news for Tyga ... Kimbo Slice's son wants to nail his girlfriend -- and there ain't a damn thing he can do about it.

Ray Lewis says the 15 days he spent behind bars were some of the worst in his life -- and claims he was forced to smuggle in food ... to avoid eating the moldy-ass jail bologna.

Lewis was locked up in 2000 -- when he was charged with murder following an incident after a Super Bowl party in Atlanta. The murder charges were dismissed and he later pled guilty to obstruction of justice.

But now, Lewis is opening up about his jail experience to Cigar Aficionado -- saying the food was so bad behind bars he had to find his very own Red from 'Shawshank' to get him some decent eats.

"For like the first seven, eight days I never ate anything outside of orange halves. If you saw the moldy bologna and things that they were trying to … I was not an animal. And I was not going to succumb to that."

"So every day [my friend] would bring me a bunch of orange halves. He snuck them in for me."

Lewis has previously called his jail sting "evil" -- and adds, "What happened to me, those 15 days, I will live for the rest of my life. And I’m OK with that."

Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw got served at his own charity ping-pong event Thursday night ... courtesy of Will Ferrell.

Will hosted Clayton's Ping Pong 4 Purpose event at Dodger Stadium -- which raises money for people in need all over the world.

After jokingly warning the guests about a man vs. coyote "danger round," Ferrell decided to clown Kershaw a little bit.

"How lucky are we to have the best pitcher in baseball on the Dodgers?" Ferrell said while standing next to the injured superstar.

"He couldn't be here tonight, but we got this guy who's supposedly on the DL!"

The guy scaling Trump Tower in NYC with the help of suction cups posted a video Tuesday declaring his allegiance to the Republican Presidential candidate and giving him the heads-up he'd literally be climbing the walls to deliver "an important message."

The man calls himself an "independent researcher" and makes it clear ... it is in Trump's interest to receive him when he reaches the top of the building. The guy says he's aware of the life-threatening peril but the message is just that important.

Rescue workers continue in vain to coax him down.

In case of a potential emergency, Simone Biles and the USA Gymnastics team know exactly what to do -- GRAB YOUR GOLD MEDALS AND RUN!!

The Final Five must be really attached to their shiny new hardware after dominating the all-around gymnastics finals at the 2016 Olympics in Rio ... 'cause when a fire alarm went off in their building on Wednesday, they made sure to snatch their medals before evacuating.

"The fire alarm's going off ... but we got our gold!" Biles said as she documented the situation on Snapchat.

It turned out to be a false alarm and the girls -- and their medals -- are alright.

Cash Warren knows what he's got in Jessica Alba ... but not everyone's perfect, right?

Jessica's husband of 8 years was at LAX Tuesday when our photog asked if he could conjure up a flaw.

Cash, a Yale grad who is now an exec at an underwear and t-shirt company, had to think hard.

Finally, McKayla Maroney IS impressed -- telling TMZ Sports she loves the new Michael Phelps death stare meme ... and says it takes her spot as the BEST Olympic funny face.

Of course, Maroney became a viral LEGEND back in 2012 thanks to the whole "not impressed" thing -- so, we had to hit her up to get her take on the new Phelps pic taking the Internet by storm.

"I now see why people thought (the memes were) so funny," Maroney says.

"Somebody tweeted like, 'McKayla looks like somebody took your spot' ... and I looked at his pictures and was like YES! Go Michael, take it away please!"

Looks like she got her wish!

Even Jim Carrey is impressed with his Russian look-alike ... but he's not quite ready to turn the tables on the guy.

We got Jim at LAX Monday and asked about his doppelganger, who's caught fire on social media.

Jim's a pro's pro when it comes to imitations ... but playing a Ruski ... that's a tall order.

Tinder didn't work out for Zac Efron ... but there still might be hope for the everyday Janes of the world.

We caught Zac at LAX and asked him if he'd seriously consider downgrading his selection of potential baes. He's short on words ... but very clear.