Nurse!

Bill Clinton didn't just speak at the Golden Globes last night, he also gave TMZ a status update on his wife's health ... and the prognosis is good.

Clinton was leaving an award show after-party at Craig's restaurant in L.A. ... when we asked how Hillary was doing after being hospitalized for a blood clot near her brain.

Bill's response -- "She's doing great."

When you undergo gastric bypass surgery, NEVER TRUST A FART -- and Al Roker learned that lesson the hard way ... at the White House.

Roker -- who got his stomach stapled in March 2002 -- shared his most embarrassing moment on "Dateline" last night, saying he was covering an event at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave a month after his operation ... when he felt the urge to let one rip.

Roker said, "I probably went off and ate something I wasn't supposed to. And as I'm walking to the press room, [I'm thinking] well, I gotta pass a little gas here. I'm walking by myself. Who's gonna know? Only a little something extra came out. I pooped my pants."

Roker said he beelined for the restroom to dump his underwear in the trash -- and proceeded to go commando the rest of the day.

Hannah Storm's miraculous recovery is still full speed ahead after she was badly burned in a grill explosion -- in fact the ESPN anchor tells TMZ her eyebrows are finally growing back!!!

Storm suffered 1st and 2nd degree burns to her neck and face on Dec. 11 -- when her propane grill erupted into a ball of flames while she was preparing dinner for her family. Storm lost her eyebrows and half of her hair in the explosion. Her left hand was also badly burned.

But Hannah refused to let the incident keep her down -- she returned to the airwaves on January 1 to host the Rose Parade (sporting a wig and freshly painted eyebrows).

Now, Storm tells TMZ ... she's excited about her recovery ... and this weekend at JFK, she pointed out that her eyebrows are already on the rebound.

"Real Housewives of Orange County" star Vicki Gunvalson almost didn't make it to 2013 -- her body recently went barreling down a mountain like a rogue snowball ... which left her in the hospital with a nasty case of whiplash.

Vicki tells TMZ ... she was on a ski run in Park City, Utah just before the New Year ... when a snowboarder abruptly cut her off and caused her to tumble face first down the mountain, thrashing her neck around in the process.

Vicki managed to get back up and finish the course ... but as a precaution, ski patrol called an ambulance to take her to the hospital -- giant neck brace and all -- where doctors determined she had a bad case of whiplash.

Vicki tells us, she's recovering nicely ... and will follow up with an OC doctor soon.

"American Idol" winner Kris Allen and his pregnant wife Katy were in a head-on collision car crash on New Year's Day.

Allen, Katy and their dog, Zorro, were all in the car. Kris suffered a broken arm. Katy suffered some injuries. The dog is fine.

It's unclear how far along Katy is in her pregnancy, and there's no word if the accident had any impact on it.

Kris sounds optimistic about the baby though -- he tweeted, "Thank you @Ford for equipping me with a car that kept my whole family safe ... and the little one we have on the way safe."

Kris's mom, Kimberly, says Kris is in a lot of pain and may not play guitar for awhile.

Chelsea Clinton was visibly upset as she left the NYC hospital where Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is being treated for a blood clot in her head -- although doctors now say things are looking up for Madam Secretary.

Chelsea was photographed outside New York Presbyterian Hospital Monday after visiting her mom ... who's been there since Sunday when doctors discovered the blood clot during an MRI.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was hospitalized Sunday after doctors discovered a blood clot, this according to her spokesman.

The clot was discovered during a follow-up exam related to a concussion she suffered this month.

She is currently at New York Presbyterian Hospital where she will remain for the next two days so doctors can monitor her condition and treat her with anti-coagulants. Clinton's spokesman did not specify where the clot was discovered.

Richard Simmons got flat-footed by a driver who, well, let's just say propagated an age-old stereotype.

Richard was outside his Hollywood Hills home Thursday -- chatting with passengers from a tour bus -- when a passing motorist squarely ran over his foot.

The driver -- ok, we'll say it -- an Asian man -- stops his car, walks over to the pained weight loss guru, and apologizes.

Check out what Richard does when the driver leaves. Hilarious.

The condition of former President George H.W. Bush appears to be deteriorating ... he's been in intensive care since Sunday, and his people are hedging on his prospects for recovery, saying they're "cautiously optimistic."

88-year-old Bush was hospitalized in November due to a bronchitis-like cough, and has remained hospitalized since.

Bush suffers from a condition called vascular Parkinsonism, which Bush has described as a kind of leg paralysis where "you tell your legs to move, and they don't move." It's unclear if the condition is related to his current hospitalization.

Bush's fever has gone up in the last few days, and doctors have been unable to control it.

"Big Time Rush" star Logan Henderson was in a nasty motorcycle wreck last week ... and might've James Dean-ed himself into the history books ... if not for a lucky jacket he was wearing ... TMZ has learned.

According to sources, the Nickelodeon boy bander was cruising through the Hollywood and Vine intersection on his way to the studio ... when a car turned right in front of him.

Henderson swerved at the last second to avoid an accident ... and was violently chucked off his bike in the process.

Remarkably, he was able to stand afterwards ... scraped and bruised from frisbeeing across the blacktop ... but still alive, we're told, thanks in part to his Marc Jacobs jacket ... which he claims saved his back from becoming a mangled mess.

The accident understandably put the kibosh on his trip to the studio ... but Henderson's gonna be just fine.

His bike, on the other hand? Not so much -- it's in the shop for the foreseeable future.

And now a new TMZ game ... SPOT THE DOPES!!!

Here we have a photo taken today at El Castillo in Mexico -- otherwise known as the Temple of Kukulkan, a Mayan structure built some time between the 9th and 12th centuries AD to honor the snake god Kukulkan.

Somewhere hidden in the photo are hundreds of idiots waiting to catch a glimpse of Kukulkan before the Mayan apocalypse, scheduled to occur tomorrow ... December 21st 2012. See if you can spot 'em!

The temple usually attracts a decent crowd during the solstice, but this is ridiculous.

If you didn't know Ray Elbe from 'Ultimate Fighter' ... you will now forever know him as the dude whose girlfriend banged him so hard she broke his penis! Yeah, we can't stop crying either.

**WARNING -- YOU CANNOT UNREAD THIS STORY ... AND IT'S GOING TO MAKE YOU CRINGE **

... ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A MAN.

... OK, LAST WARNING

... SERIOUSLY, THIS IS MESSED UP.

OK, HERE WE GO ...

MMA fighter Ray Elbe -- who competed on "Ultimate Fighter 9" -- had to be rushed to a hospital in Malaysia earlier this month and required 10 stitches ... after he BROKE HIS PENIS during sex.

Elbe told the whole story -- in painfully graphic detail -- on an MMA website ... explaining how he was having sex with his GF, who was "on top" ... when she bounced a little too high, and crunched Ray's erect penis.

According to Ray, his penis "fractured" ... and "blood was everywhere." Ray says he immediately passed out from the pain.

Ray says he was rushed to a nearby hospital ... and underwent emergency surgery to close the wound and repair a "slight tear" in his urinary tube.

Elbe says the pain was so severe after the surgery, his johnson was "throbbing with each heart beat."

Elbe says he expects to make a full recovery -- and was ordered to take "anti-erection pills" for two weeks.

The fighter says he learned a hard lesson from the experience -- and will never let his GF be "on top" ever again.

Injured New York Yankees powerhouse Alex Rodriguez isn't letting a little thing like MAJOR surgery get him down ... telling TMZ, there's no doubt in his mind he'll be aces in no time.

A-Rod spoke to us in Beverly Hills yesterday ... and we asked him about his upcoming SECOND hip surgery -- scheduled for January -- which is expected to knock him out of the season well into 2013.

But A-Rod wasn't fazed one bit by his current condition ... telling our camera guy he "can't wait to be back."

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was ATTACKED ... by a nasty stomach virus ... which got so bad this week, she actually fainted and suffered a concussion from the fall.

The State Department issued a statement today explaining that Clinton is currently recovering at home with the help of her doctors after a case of extreme dehydration from a "stomach virus" caused her to pass out.

The Dept added that Clinton is under strict medical orders to work from home next week, but will remain in constant contact with her department officials at all times.

*** LAST CHANCE ... THIS IS DISGUSTING ... PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK ***

You're looking at a gargantuan big bite that our photog received during a recent trip to Japan. But instead of going to a doctor, our photog had his MOM treat the bulbous fluid sac ... by popping it with a pair of pliers!

Why did he film it? Can't tell you ... but he did ... and it's super gross.