Paparazzi Photo

Sorry, Internet ... that's not Beyonce topless at the beach -- no matter how much you want it to be.

Photos started circulating Tuesday morning ... showing a woman who looks a lot like Bey flaunting yellow bikini bottoms, and nothing else. Just fully exposed whoppers.

However ... we've got an eye for this stuff, and dug into the archives to discover the woman in the pics is actually ex-Big Brother U.K. contestant Rachael White -- and the photos were shot back in 2011.

Beautiful Liar.

Fresh off a night of partying with Lily Allen, One Direction heartthrob Harry Styles was forced to pull over to the side of an L.A. freeway and puke his adorable, ponytail-wearing guts out.

Still doable.

George Clooney's wife (sounds weird, right?) jumped back on the lawyer beat Tuesday ... heading out to a big international lawyer meeting -- where it's a safe bet she'll have the best legs in the room.

Amal Clooney -- yes, she's now listed under her married name on the firm's website -- is helping Greece convince Great Britain to return the Elgin Marbles ... a collection of ancient sculptures that were originally part of the Parthenon.

Suge Knight may have found the one place on the planet where he doesn't have to worry about getting shot ... Disneyland!

The rap mogul/frequent target for gunfire was spotted at the Happiest Place on Earth with his family over the weekend, where he picked up a red Disneyland shirt, so as to blend in with the common folk.

Suge looked good ... especially for a guy who got shot 6 times just over a month ago.

Sarah Hyland is not letting her guard down after getting a restraining order against her abusive ex-boyfriend -- she now has a mountain-sized escort on the set of "Modern Family."

As TMZ first reported, Hyland's ex-boyfriend Matthew Prokop was ordered to stay away from her for 3 years following her claims he was physically abusive during their relationship. Hyland says her TV mom, Julie Bowen, witnessed some of the abuse.

The bodyguard tailed Sarah from her trailer to her shoot locations all day Thursday. After seeing this, we think Prokop will keep his distance. If he's smart.

One of the Kardashian-Jenners is still getting good use out of the Jeep Wrangler Sahara French Montana bought Khloe K for her birthday ... it's just not Khloe, it's Kylie.

Kylie was spotted in the $50,000 whip while cruising around Calabasas -- and older sis, Kendall has also been driving it around town.

As TMZ previously reported, the SUV was part of French's 30th birthday gift to Khloe -- who's clearly no longer riding the gift. Or the gift giver.

Good thing Kylie's driving record is impeccable ...ish.

Without her magic powers, Melissa Joan Hart was forced to call AAA to unlock her car Tuesday afternoon ... and it was pretty urgent.

Melissa left her keys AND HER CHILD locked inside -- though it appears the toddler ... and the keys ... were rescued in time.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's love child, Joseph Baena, looked like a king during his high school's homecoming event ... just not a homecoming king.

Baena got his tux swag on ... and made a run for the crown at Frontier High School in Bakersfield, CA last month. He made it to the top 5, but lost the ultimate title to some other kid ... whose father is not ex-governor or a Hollywood superstar.

Sometimes life is unfair -- but Joe already knew that.

Mark Wahlberg's massive home in Beverly Park, CA is finally complete ... 30,000 square feet strong ... and it's twice as big as Tom Brady's house!

Wahlberg bought the six-acre property five years ago and had the house designed by architect to the stars Richard Landry, who also did Tom and Gisele's.

The home has a lot, including a library, wine cellar and a wood-paneled home theater, a rock formation pool with two jacuzzis, a slide, and get this ... a diving board!

And if you feel like playing sports ... there's a putting green and a basketball court.

The only thing this house doesn't have ... a talking teddy bear.

Arnold Schwarzenegger looked pretty calm for a guy sitting in the passenger seat ... while his girlfriend Heather Milligan was in the driver's seat of his custom Bugatti Veyron sports car over the weekend.

No biggie. It's only worth around $2,000,000.

Bruce Jenner changed his look up for the Elton John concert in L.A. Saturday night.

B.J. went to the show with his son Brandon Jenner and Brandon's wife. Another random girl tagged along ... but no word on who she is ... or if it was any sort of date.

Bruce and Kris Jenner made their split official last month when Kris filed for divorce.

In case you haven't been to an Elton John concert ... that's the place you let your ponytail down.

Amanda Bynes puffed a Camel cigarette on the streets of NYC Friday evening ... then rolled into the Cartier store wearing sweatpants ... and the situation continues to be desperate with no happy resolution.

Bynes -- sporting a bandage under her eye -- walked around the Upper East Side Friday before hitting up the fancy jewelry store.

Doesn't look like she bought anything ... as she left the store, undercover.

We spoke with multiple people who saw Amanda in Union Square last night as well ... and they say she seemed very paranoid. They also tell us she was speaking to inanimate objects like a tree.

Amanda Bynes landed in New York City Friday morning with a large Band-Aid across her face.

Bynes was walking through the airport, fussing with her freshly dyed hair with a sweatshirt tied around her waist. The strangest part of her appearance was the huge bandage under her right eye ... covering most of her cheek.

As TMZ first reported, Bynes was spotted at LAX before her Thursday night flight and she was acting very strange. Unclear if she had the bandage in L.A.

People close to Amanda are saying ... before they can take action to get her help, she has to pose a danger to herself or others. It's possible this is a sign of that.

Amanda Bynes is off to NYC ... and she is not well.

Amanda was at LAX Thursday night at an airport restaurant, acting bizarre, painting her face with excessive amounts of makeup.

Sources connected to Amanda tell us she was visibly high all day, talking to herself and complaining about her life.

The pics below are from a Thousand Oaks, CA hair salon, where Amanda got a dye job. She was there for several hours -- again acting bizarre -- before heading to the airport.

We believe she is now in NYC.

Justin Bieber mixed it up Tuesday with the paparazzi in Paris and appeared to throw a punch during the fracas.

We're told Bieber and his crew tried to clear the photogs out of the way as they entered their hotel after dinner.

Check out Bieber -- inexplicably dressed in a camouflage jacket and pants with black leather sneakers -- his hand just below the neck of one photog ... another photo shows Bieber appearing to be in mid-punch.

Biebs has been a busy boy in Paree ... dining with Kendall Jenner and later partying with Kendall, Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Paris Hilton and GF Selena Gomez ... but avoiding Miranda Kerr like Ebola.