Simon Cowell Sex Criminal!!! ... Allegedly

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Simon Cowell may have committed a crime in addition to a bro sin by allegedly banging his good friend's wife ... because that, our friends, is considered CRIMINAL ADULTERY!

Who knew ... but we did some digging and found a New York law making homewrecking a criminal misdemeanor, punishable by up to 3 months in jail.

As we reported ... real estate mogul Andrew Silverman filed divorce docs in NYC, alleging his wife Lauren and Simon committed adultery during his marriage and made a love child. She's 10 weeks pregnant.

Do they make smedium orange jumpsuits?

Simon Cowell First Pictures of Baby Hidden Inside Friend's Wife

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Here it is ... THE FIRST PHOTO OF SIMON COWELL'S ALLEGED BABY -- unfortunately, you can't really see the thing because it's buried inside the womb of his friend's wife.

Simon's alleged baby mama Lauren Silverman -- the 36-year-old wife of his real estate pal Andrew Silverman -- stepped out in the Hamptons on Thursday, carrying Simon's little bundle of rapidly multiplying cells in her uterus (allegedly).

As we reported, Andrew just filed divorce docs claiming Lauren committed adultery when she conceived Simon's baby.

Adultery ... the real "ex" factor.

Simon Cowell & Friend's Wife He Factor And Knocked Her Up

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Judge this: Simon Cowell impregnated his good friend's wife ... and she's already nearly 3 months along ... this according to reports.

Us Weekly broke the story, reporting Cowell is expecting a child with New York socialite Lauren Silverman, the estranged wife of Cowell's close friend Andrew Silverman, a real estate mogul.

36-year-old Lauren and her husband have been in the middle of a divorce for a while ... but still haven't severed the cord.

Lauren is reportedly 10 weeks pregnant. FYI, Simon is 53 and this would be his first child.

Lauren's got talent too ... she's pretty damn hot. And it's safe to say Simon has a type. Just check out his recent exes, Mezhgan Hussainy and Terri Seymour.

Snooki High & Waisted with Baby

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The dreaded high-waisted bikini strikes again!!! Just days after Taylor Swift terrified the nation with some grandma's dusty old swim-diaper ... Snooki subjected her OWN DEFENSELESS CHILD to the horrific ensemble.

The pics were snapped Monday on the beach in Seaside Heights -- aka "Jersey Shore" mecca -- and luckily, Snooki's baby daddy Jionni LaValle was there to distract 11-month-old Lorenzo for long enough that he didn't go blind.

Gotta hand it to Snooki though ... aside from the bikini, she looks great.

Kate Middleton Gives Birth Blimey, It's a Boy!!!

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1:14 PM PT -- Prince William's daddykins -- Charles the Prince of Wales -- has just released a statement on the birth of the baby ... saying, "Both my wife and I are overjoyed at the arrival of my first grandchild. It is an incredibly special moment for William and Catherine and we are so thrilled for them on the birth of their baby boy."

Also, it sounds like he hasn't seen the baby yet ... because he added, "We are eagerly looking forward to seeing the baby in the near future."

12:53 PM PT -- THE DOCUMENT HAS ARRIVED!!!! And it doesn't say anything interesting at all, except that Kate "safely delivered of a son" and she and the baby are doing well. Woo-freaking-hoo.

12:45 PM PT -- The medical document is currently en route!!! WHAT WILL IT SAY?!?!?

It's official, Prince William has secured his heir ... and millions of Brits just spilled their tea ... KATE MIDDLETON GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY BOY!!!

According to Buckingham Palace officials, Kate popped at precisely 4:24 PM BST. The boy weighed in at 8 pounds 6 ounces.

After Prince Charles and William, the baby will become third in line to the British throne. Sorry Harry.

As we reported, a document will be signed any moment by a member of the official royal medical staff -- detailing the baby's birth info -- and it will then be driven under royal escort to Buckingham Palace, where it will be displayed on an "ornate easel." Smashing!

We still don't know the baby's name -- but we DO know he's got some iffy genes in the hair department, so we gotta ask ...

Kate Middleton IN LABOR Get Ready to Bow to Your Tiny Overlord!!!

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Prepare for the onslaught of new British Royal collectible tea sets, plates, shirts, hats, etc. -- 'cause the Royal great-grandbaby is due any minute.

The Queen's people have released a statement saying Kate Middleton is officially in labor at a hospital in London.

Hundreds of Brits have already taken to the streets to await their new master.

The Monarchy is still not saying if the new baby is a boy or a girl.

We know ... once Kate pops out the little squirt, a document will be signed by a member of the official royal medical staff and driven under royal escort to Buckingham Palace.

The medical document -- which will contain the fundamental birth info (sex, weight, time of birth) -- will be displayed on an "ornate easel" at the palace.

We're told the name will not be released straight away.

Stay tuned ... we'll have the news as it emerges from Kate's vagina.

Kris Jenner FAKE BABY ON TALK SHOW!

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Kris Jenner pulled out the big guns for her talk show premiere -- 'cause Kim Kardashian's baby North West will make its debut ... is what she wants you to believe -- BUT TMZ KNOWS IT'S NOT!

Kris' show posted a photo on Twitter and Facebook ... of herself cuddling an infant, with the message ... "You never know who will stop by our show today #WatchKris".

This would be the first public shot of North since her birth -- but we smelled a rat. And guess what? After some digging we found out the baby is owned by a hair and makeup person on the set.

Kanye West and Kim have been pretty clear about NOT wanting their baby in the spotlight.

Preggo Jamie-Lynn Sigler I'm Giving My Baby a NORMAL NAME

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Sorry Kim Kardashian ... and every other celeb who gave their kids weird names ... Jamie-Lynn Sigler is naming her baby boy Chris ... or Steve, or Nick, or ... some other completely normal boring name instead.

A ready-to-pop Sigler was out in L.A. yesterday when we asked if she'd be going in the "North West" or "Apple Martin" direction when deciding on a name for her child -- and she tells us, "It will be a NORMAL name. A real name."

Jamie-Lynn looks great ... but here's another question, do you HAVE to compliment pregnant women just because they're pregnant? You might. Watch the clip.

Kate Middleton The Royal Gyno's Final Delivery

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Queen Elizabeth's hidden treasure is no secret to Dr. Marcus Setchell -- aka the Royal gynecologist -- who will also get under Kate Middleton's hood to deliver, arguably, the most anticipated fetus of the year.

No pressure, doc (hope that catcher's mitt is broken in)!!

Jessica Simpson Gives Birth

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Jessica Simpson's fat days are numbered ... she just popped out baby #2, TMZ has confirmed.

Jessica's rep tells TMZ ... the singer gave birth to a baby boy earlier today in an L.A. hospital. She and Eric Johnson named the lil tyke Ace Knute Johnson. North was taken.

Jessica and Eric have one other kid together ... daughter Maxwell ... born May 1, 2012.

With Jessica and Kim K popping out their wee ones soooo close together, we gotta ask:

Kim Zolciak Calls BS on Pregnant Smoking Pics

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Kim Zolciak isn't trying to smoke out her fetus -- and instead claims the shots of her puffing a cigarette while pregnant were NOT shot yesterday ... TMZ has learned.

Sources close to Kim tell us, she has sent a cease and desist letter to the agency ... accusing them of purposely deceiving the public about 2 sets of photos they shot.

Kim is claiming the shots of her smoking were taken quite some time ago ... though she doesn't remember exactly when.

We're told Kim says she was actually photographed yesterday by the agency (above) -- while wearing black sweat pants -- but not smoking.

According to our sources, Kim feels the agency defamed her by creating a made-up scandal -- and she also claims the photog was trespassing when the smoking pics were taken.

Sources tell us the independent photog, who works for the agency, was on private property ... so they've pulled the smoking photos.

We're told Kim also wants an apology ... but still might sue.

Kim & Kanye North West Is Non-Directional

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were not inspired by a compass when they named their kid North ... fact is, the name's more inspirational than directional.

Sources close to K & K tell TMZ ... they chose the name North because they see it as a metaphor for "up", telling friends, "What's North of North? Nothing." Translation ... nothing better.

We're told the duo believes baby North is their highest point together as a couple ... the pinnacle of the relationship ... and they consider her their "North Star."

Kinda sweet. Almost makes ya feel bad for mocking it, right?

Almost.

Jessica Simpson Still Pregnant Very, Very Pregnant

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In case you forgot.

North West Give the Kid a Middle Name!!

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West may not want her to have one ... but their little girl North now has a ton of options for a middle name.

Since TMZ broke the news about North's name -- we've been flooded with suggestions for a middle name and comments about her first name ... some cute, some funny, some not so funny.

Click through the gallery to see some choice selections.

If you have your own idea about completing North's name ... send it in the comments section.

Kim Kardashian Gives Birth to Baby Girl

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Kim Kardashian has given birth to a baby girl ... TMZ has learned.

Source close to KK tell TMZ ... it was a NATURAL CHILD BIRTH. She started having contractions Friday night and went into full labor early Saturday AM.

Our sources tell us the baby and Kim are both in good health. We're told Kim delivered the baby at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center this morning ... 5 weeks early.

Our sources say BF Kanye West was there for the entire thing -- in the delivery room by Kim's side. We're told Kanye cancelled his appearance at his own record release party last night when Kim told him she was feeling "a little off."

It is the first child for Kim and Kanye.

Jamie Lynn Sigler Pregnant Bikini Babe ... And We Mean It

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Here's ready-to-burst Jamie Lynn Sigler wearing a bikini at a North Carolina beach last week. She's 7 months pregnant ... and we're really kinda into it? Is that weird?

We gotta ask ...