Tan Mom Patricia Krentcil I'm Divorcing My Small Penis'd Husband

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Tan Mom's marriage is OVER -- and shockingly, she's the one calling it off -- this according to divorce docs filed in New Jersey and obtained by TMZ.

Just 3 weeks after Patricia Krentcil bitched about the size of her hubby's allegedly tiny penis during her disastrous stand-up comedy debut, Tan Mom has officially filed for divorce from Richard Krentcil.

Tan Mom tells TMZ ... she decided to call off the 8-year marriage because Richard recently failed a lie detector test about infidelity on a TV show called "The Test."

In the docs, Tan Mom demands $500 per week in spousal support PLUS $500 per week in child support so she can care for their 2 children. Tan Mom is also asking for full custody.

We spoke to Richard who tells us ... he wants to STAY with Patricia and hopes they can work out their issues.

He's got his work cut out for him, because in Tan Mom's stand-up act, she complained that her sex life was terrible -- "OK, let's have an orgasm, NOT!"

Orlando & Miranda Photo Evidence Of Who Dumped Who

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The who-dumped-who mystery of Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr's split has been solved ... thanks to a photo of Orlando going in for a kiss with his ex.

Yes, here comes some gratuitous and in-depth over-analysis of a peck-gone-wrong!

Orlando & Miranda WE'RE GETTING DIVORCED

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Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are DONE ... the two gorgeous people have announced they're splitting up after 3 years of marriage.

O & M -- who started dating back in 2007 -- released a joint statement through their reps saying, "They have been amicably separated for the past few months. After six years together, they have recently decided to formalize their separation."

"Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family."

The couple has one kid together -- their son Flynn, who was born in 2011.

The announcement is pretty shocking considering Miranda and Orlando were spotted out in public together -- smiling and laughing on October 7 in NYC.

And just a couple of months before that, Orlando and Miranda were joking about each other to the media -- with Miranda claiming O has a foot fetish.

We shot Orlando back in July and asked him about it -- and he laughed it off. It's unclear what went south between then and now.

The divorce could get messy when it comes to money -- since they have a ton. According to Forbes, Miranda is the second highest paid model in the world -- raking in more than $7 mil in the past year. And Orlando Bloom's got "Hobbit" money.

It's unclear if the couple has officially filed for divorce at this point -- but it seems like that's just a matter of time.

Madonna's Ex-BF Gag Alert ... Kiss of Death

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We now know why Madonna broke up with her 26-year-old ex-boyfriend Jesus Luz ... the guy kisses ... like a St. Bernard.

The photo was taken today in Italy. We don't know who the unlucky girl is, but we're really hoping she brought a towel ... and some industrial strength disinfectant.

FYI, Madge and Jesus first got together in 2008 when Jesus was just 21 (and Madonna was 50) and split in 2010. They probably had some other problems too.

Katharine McPhee KISSING 'SMASH' DIRECTOR Both Married to Other People

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Katharine McPhee is dating her former "Smash" director Michael Morris, TMZ has learned ... and they're even making out in public -- problem is, THEY'RE BOTH MARRIED TO OTHER PEOPLE.

Morris is married to actress Mary McCormack (who played Howard Stern's wife in "Private Parts") ... and they have 3 young daughters together, ages 2, 6 and 9.

29-year-old Katharine is married to 47-year-old producer Nick Cokas -- they have no children.

Sources close to Katharine and Nick tell TMZ ... the two have been separated for 6 months and are living apart. They were married in 2008.

It's unclear where Michael's relationship with Mary stands -- but it seems it's also on the ropes, because over the weekend he was sucking face with Katharine in broad daylight in L.A. like he didn't care who saw.

The two weren't shy with the PDA either -- holding hands and cuddling each other in Hollywood.

So far, no official comment from any of the parties involved.

Dina Eastwood 'I Still Love Clint' But Not His Negative Energy

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Clint Eastwood's wife Dina still loves her estranged husband ... but hopes a little new age voodoo -- the use of crystals -- will rid her home of Clint's negative energy ... TMZ has learned.

Dina tweeted a pic from the Crystal Fantasy in Palm Springs ... where she dropped a couple of hundred dollars on crystals, incense, sage ... and other stuff believed to have metaphysical powers of healing and cleansing.

While in the store, Dina was overheard dumping on Clint and his new squeeze ... because they had shacked up at a home the Eastwoods own in Palm Springs.

Now Dina apparently plans to do some heavy duty house cleaning ... using the crystals and incense to remove all of the bad energy left behind by Clint's visit.

She was also overheard saying she still loves Clint ... and that the whole breakup is just "unreal and heartbreaking."

Selena Gomez Cries On Stage During Song (Allegedly) About Bieber

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Selena Gomez is still torn up about her ex, Justin Bieber -- or she's a really good actress ... that's the only explanation for her sappy and tear-filled performance last night in Brooklyn.

Selena started sobbing and weeping near the end of her ballad, "Love Will Remember" -- which is widely believed to be about the Biebs ... partially because the original leaked version of the song featured a voicemail Justin left for Selena.

Here's the thing ... fans have said Selena also cried while performing the same song the night before.

She also goes into an emotional thank you to her fans, but since turning on the waterworks seems to be her thing -- we gotta ask ...

Here's something Selena should really be crying about -- this awesome moment from "The View" this morning ... when the ladies intro'd her to start singing, and ... well, watch what happens.

Kris Jenner Bruce's Kids LOVE Me This Pose Proves It

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The Jenners are one big, happy separated family -- and Kris Jenner went out of her way to prove it by taking family pics at home Thursday night.

Bruce Jenner, along with his sons Brandon and Brody, grinned and posed for a pic with Kris -- which she promptly posted on Instagram with the caption, "Another amazing night."

Momager Kris made no bones about it ... the warm and fuzzy moment was engineered as a response to TMZ.

She concluded her Instagram post with a hashtag that read, "SorryTMZ got it wrong AGAIN."

Sorry Kris, you know we got it right.

As we reported, sources connected to the family say Brody and Brandon have been reconnecting with their father since he separated from Kris and moved to Malibu. We're also told the boys partially blamed Kris for the fact Bruce neglected them for most of the last 20 years.

In fact, things were so bad, Bruce often would not even call the boys on their birthdays.

Kris' IG caption continued, "Too fun I love you guys!!! Best hearts."

Brody also posted a pic. Eat your heart out Norman Rockwell.

Brody Jenner Break Up Is Screwing With My Dad's Golf Game

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Bruce Jenner's separation from Kris Jenner is screwing with his head ... and it's spilling over into a vital part of his life -- his golf game ... this according to his son Brody.

Bruce and Brody Jenner hit the links for a golf session this afternoon ... and even though they were attempting to stay in zen mode -- his son made it clear dad's game was off .

Brody posted a video showing Bruce misfiring on one of the holes ... explaining, "He pulled this [one] a bit left but it's probably because he has a'lot on his mind."

He added, "Or is it that pink ball?"

As we previously reported ... BJ's sons Brody and Brandon were thrilled over the separation ... because they feel they have a new opportunity to get closer with their dad.

So far, so good.

Bruce Jenner Sons THRILLED With Separation

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Bruce Jenner's 2 boys blame Kris Jenner for robbing them of their father and they are more than happy over the split ... sources connected to the family tell TMZ.

Brody and Brandon Jenner became estranged from their dad when he married Kris in 1991. They were raised by their mom, Linda Thompson and David Foster, who married Linda after she divorced Bruce. We're told the boys were devastated, and believed their real dad abandoned them.

What's more ... our sources say Brody and Brandon believe Kris is the one who convinced Bruce to jettison them, in favor of his new family. They have bitter feelings toward Kris, which endure even today.

We're told Brody and Brandon know ... Bruce didn't pay child support for 10 years, and after that only $1,500 a month. Again, they believe Kris was pulling the strings.

So now Bruce is living in Malibu, close to Brody and Brandon, and they are reconnecting with Bruce in what we're told is "an adult relationship."

Here's what no one will say out loud -- Bruce got sick of being alienated from his children, and one benefit of the separation is to rebuild and make good.

One final thing ... you may wonder why Brody and Brandon have appeared on "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," a show driven by Kris. We're told the boys have done everything they could to get close to their dad, and they felt if the show filled that bill ... so be it.

Jenner Separation Happy Kris, Sad Bruce

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The Jenner split has become a tragicomedy ... Bruce can't seem to muster a happy face, and Kris can't help but smile.

The separated duo both showed up to a production office in L.A. today, wearing drastically different expressions -- just one day after announcing they were living apart.

Both have said they're happy with the current arrangement, but Bruce was cursing like a sailor yesterday about it ... and appears to be clinging to his wedding ring. Unlike Kris.

Still, gotta respect their work ethic.

Kris Jenner It's Knot About Knookie We're Just Happier Apart

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Kris Jenner is not looking to bang anyone, nor is Bruce, in the wake of their separation ... so says Kris.

Jenner tells TMZ ... her separation from Bruce was not in the least bit acrimonious ... she says she and Bruce still love each other, get along great, work together, talk on the phone 12 times a day, and remain "best friends." She says there was no "last straw."

So that begs the question ... Why separate? Kris simply says, "We're just happier living apart."

And, she's neither ruling out divorce or, for that matter, getting back together ... "Who knows? We don't have a crystal ball."

Kris says she and Bruce were talking yesterday about planning their big, annual XMAS eve party, so "everything is normal."

As for dating someone else, Kris says, "WE haven't even discussed. There hasn't been a thought or a twinkle."

As for reports Bruce felt bullied by the women, Kris scoffed and said, "He's a big boy. He can more than take care of himself."

Bruce Jenner F**k This, F**k That

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Bruce Jenner's new favorite word is clearly F**K, because he couldn't stop using it yesterday after Kris Jenner announced their separation.

Bruce was at a golf course Tuesday near the family's home in Calabasas ... and he flew off the handle at some photogs (not TMZ) who he claimed were on private property.

Fast forward to later Tuesday ... at a yogurt shop with Kendall and Kylie in the San Fernando Valley ... more F**Ks and fingers.

As we reported ... family sources tell TMZ ... Bruce hated the whole Hollywood life and said, "f**k this s**t and moved to Malibu. But there are no plans for divorce -- at least not now. Bruce will still be a part of the show and sources tell us the split will become a big part of the story line in season 9.

Bruce Jenner He Finally Said 'F**k This S**t'

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Bruce Jenner is a simple man who likes simple things, and Kris is the exact opposite, which is why, according to a very connected family source, Bruce finally said, "F**k this s**t" and he moved to Malibu.

Several family sources all confirm ... Bruce has always been "a simple man" who likes 3 things -- golf, racing cars and RC helicopters. He has always shunned the "Hollywood life" and it makes him extremely uncomfortable.

Kris -- in case you didn't know -- is ambitious ... some say to a fault. One family source put it this way: "She's on a freight train and Bruce finally wanted off."

We're told Kris wasn't the one who wanted Bruce to move out, because it wasn't good for the show or the Kardashian brand. It was Bruce who just got sick of it. It wasn't that he was bossed around or got into big fights with Kris -- it's just that he wasn't happy around her.

Aside from his hobbies, Bruce is now obsessed with re-establishing a relationship with his sons, Brandon and Brody, who were raised by their mom Linda Thompson and her then hubby David Foster. We're told Bruce and his boys now have "an adult relationship" and are finally getting along -- and that's what is making him happy.

Kris and Bruce Jenner The Show Will Go On!

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Kris and Bruce Jenner may have split, but hey, business is business -- we've learned not only will they continue shooting "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," the separation will become a major plot line of season 9.

Sources connected with the show tell TMZ ... on Tuesday, after announcing the separation, Bruce went off to shoot scenes with Kylie and Kendall.

We're told the upcoming season will show Bruce and Kris living separately but coming together at various points for family events ... and there will be a lot of them.

What's more ... we're told the family is very conscious of the fact that they can make more in syndication.

And that's why it's called Show Business.

Lamar & Khloe Reunite and Rally for Mom But Marriage Still on Life Support

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Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian finally came back together in public -- for the first time in months -- and all it took for them to reunite was Kris Jenner getting separated.

Khloe and Lamar were photographed driving together -- she had the wheel, he rode shotgun -- near her mom's home in Calabasas ... right around the time news broke about Kris and Bruce Jenner's split on Tuesday.

Nothing too warm and fuzzy about the look on their faces in the SUV ... but it is the first time KK and LO did anything together -- besides discussing his drug addiction -- since early summer.

Despite the fact they appear to be rallying for Kris ... our sources say Khloe and Lamar's marriage is still much closer to being over than reconciled.

Even momager Kris might not be able to fix this one -- plus, she's got her own issues now.