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The apocalypse is nigh -- yesterday, a "Jersey Shore" cast member gave a guest lecture at an Ivy League school ...

It actually makes a lot more sense when you know the full story -- sources tell TMZ, Vinny Guadagnino was invited to speak in a Columbia sociology class on "deviance" ... a subject on which Vinny is a recognized expert.

Vin spent a lot of time talking about being bullied growing up. It went really well -- we're told students even applauded at the end -- but crap got real when Vinny opened the floor up for questions.

We're told one observer bluntly asked, "What gives you, as a cast member of 'Jersey Shore,' the right to interrupt this class and then lecture us on setting a good example?"

Vinny -- who wasn't big on speech and debate in high school -- was predictably stumped.

Lindsay Lohan just sashayed her way into court -- wearing a "please forgive me" vintage dress, a pair of "don't send me to jail" Giuseppe Zanotti shoes, and some "good girl" Linda Farrow glasses.

Our Lindsay sources tell us ... she's complaining she has food poisoning from some bad shrimp and she was sick all night.

We're told she feels like crap today ... and it's about to get worse.

Former NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield had enough firepower inside of his home to equip a small army ... law enforcement tells TMZ.

We spoke with Captain Joel Fish of the Catawba County Sheriff's Dept. who tells us cops seized approximately 40 firearms during a search of Mayfield's North Carolina home last night.

Captain Fish says most of the guns were rifles and shotguns ... with a few handguns.

We're told the guns were seized so officials could determine if the weapons belong to Mayfield .... and if so, if they are properly registered.

As we previously reported, cops had searched the home on a warrant after receiving a tip about stolen property inside Mayfield's pad.

Captain Fish says cops seized all sorts of items they believe to have been stolen -- including Red Bull Racing gear, commercial sound equipment and industrial machinery. Cops also claim they found 1.5 grams of methamphetamine inside the house.

Mayfield was arrested for felony possession of meth. He was released after posting $3,000 bond.

Kim Kardashian's wedding guests ain't gonna get their expensive wedding gifts back ... but KK wants to make it up to everyone ... with one BIG ASS charity donation.

Kim just blogged about her decision to divorce Kris Humphries ... insisting she "married for love" ... but says, "I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people."

She also wrote, "There are also reports that I made millions of dollars off of the wedding. These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this."

"I’m so grateful to everyone who took the time to come to my wedding and I’ll be donating the money for all the gifts to the Dream Foundation."

Sources close to Kim tell TMZ ... KK plans to give the organization a $200k check.

Toni Braxton and her family had to put the kibosh on a major media event to promote their reality show in L.A. this week ... because the gang decided it was more important to be with a family member who's hospitalized across the county.

TMZ has learned ... more than 30 media outlets were scheduled to attend an event at Boa Steakhouse tonight to kick off the new season of "Braxton Family Values."

But plans changed when Toni's brother-in-law, Vince Herbert, was rushed to a NY hospital Sunday to be treated for a blood clot in his lungs ... and the family decided it was more important to be with him.

Sources close to Vince -- who's a regular on the show -- tell us he's in stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery.

President Barack Obama winged it hardcore yesterday -- hitting up L.A.'s famous Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles ... in a move that made his wife and kids extremely jealous.

TMZ spoke with a manager at the Pico location, who tells us, Obama dropped by to pick up an early dinner with his secret service -- ordering the "Country Boy" combo ... 3 chicken wings, a waffle, and potato salad ... for a fiscally responsible $8.40.

The manager tells us, he was honored to have the Commander-in-Chief at his establishment -- but says he won't be renaming any menu items after B.O. ... in fairness to Reagan and Nixon, who were also regulars ... but don't have any items named after them.

Michelle and kids weren't there -- but according to the manager, Barack insisted his wife and daughters would be stopping by Roscoe's Hollywood location in the near future ... because they're also huge fans of the restaurant.

Lindsay Lohan is shooting nude photos for Playboy -- TMZ has confirmed -- and LiLo don't strip for peanuts ... the spread will earn her almost a million dollars!

Sources tell us the deal has been in the works for months, and that Lindsay balked at an initial $750K offer because she wanted ... ONE MILLION dollars ... to show the world what her momma gave her (apologies for the DiLo reference).

We're told Hugh Hefner and Co. recently came back to Lindsay with an offer less than her asking price -- but close enough for her to sign on the dotted line. No word yet on which issue Linds will be featured in ... but it's a good bet she'll be on the cover.

Lindsay's rep said, "I can neither confirm or deny at this time." Playboy didn't immediately respond to our email or phone call. 

According to sources, the shoot started over the weekend -- which means Linds was juggling her court ordered morgue duties ... with getting nekkid.

Sweet, sweet multi-tasking.

Lindsay is going FULL FRONTAL.

Michael Lohan's ex-girlfriend told police ... he flipped out and threatened to kill her because "she wouldn't give him a 'bl*w job'" ... this according to the police report obtained by TMZ.

According to the report, Lohan's ex, Kate Major, told police Michael came over to her Tampa apartment last night, when he began to yell at her about an upcoming domestic violence court hearing. Major claims the argument got heated ... and MiLo got violent.

Major claims Lohan pushed her multiple times and squeezed her arms. She claims Mike also told her he would "slit both his wrist and her wrist. He also threatened to throw her off the balcony (4th floor)."

Kate says Michael threw a TV remote control at her ... but he missed, so he smashed her cell phone.

Major also told police Lohan came over to her apartment the night before ... and they got into an argument that turned physical. Major says she threatened to call police, but Michael banged his head on a door, causing his forehead to bleed ... and warned that if cops came over, he would blame her for the injury.

Major told cops she regretted not calling police at the time, but insists "she was scared."

Lohan also spoke with police ... insisting last night's incident was triggered by a sexual encounter ... described in graphic detail in the police report.

Michael Lohan is cooling his ass in a Tampa jail this morning after getting arrested on suspicion of domestic violence charges.

Tampa Police arrested Lindsay Lohan's dad at 1:10AM ET after they responded to reports of a fight between Michael and a live-in girlfriend. Law enforcement sources confirm it was Lohan's on again-off again GF Kate Major.

Now this part is classic Lohan: We're told Michael complained of chest pains when he was taken into custody -- so police took him to a hospital. We're told Michael was treated, and then was attempting to slip out of the hospital on his own -- until an officer spotted him, hauled him down to jail and booked him for the alleged domestic violence.

Tampa PD's website lists him as still in custody.

Michael was last arrested for domestic violence by LAPD back in March after an alleged fight with Major. Interestingly, he also complained of chest pains during that arrest.

Fun fact: Michael's Tampa arrest report says he's actually employed ... as director of marketing for Larsen Pharmaceuticals. In this economy?

Click here to listen to Kate's 911 calls.

Michael Jackson's daughter is in love with Chris Brown ... and last night at his L.A. concert, the singer made sure the King of Pop's little girl got nothing short of the royal treatment.

Sources close to Brown tell TMZ ... once Chris learned Jackson would be attending the show, he invited Paris to the pre-show soundcheck ... where he greeted her with a giant, friendly hug.

After the warm up, Jackson made her way to her front row seat with some of her friends ... and rocked out to the sold-out show ... along with a ton of other stars including Jamie Foxx, Damon Wayans, Sean Kingston and Kendall Jenner.

It's good to be The King ...'s kid.

Donald Trump just unloaded his awesome 11,000 square foot SoCal mansion for $7.15 million ... which is great, except he WANTED $12 mil when he put it on the market last year.

TMZ has learned ... Trump sold the Palos Verdes home to the owner of a major shipping company, who "appreciated the property as much as Trump does."

The house is UNREAL -- with 5 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms, a 1,000 square-foot kitchen, a game room, a bar and a gorgeous infinity pool.

Lindsay Lohan just sauntered into Judge Sautner's court ... projecting all kinds of innocence in an all-white outfit.

TMZ has learned ... Lindsay's dress is Fendi. She's also rockin' Guiseppe Zanotti shoes ... with a Chanel purse.

Who needs Milan ... when you have downtown L.A.??

Justin Bieber causes mass hysteria everywhere he goes -- and even places he doesn't ... because fans in Chile mobbed his hotel ... and he wasn't even in the country!

Take a look at the video above of fans MOBBING the W Santiago at 10:00 AM. Friday.

Here's the problem. We know Justin decided to stay in Buenos Aires an extra day ... so he wasn't even in Chile when the fans stormed the hotel.

According to our sources, the mob scene prompted local authorities to contact Bieber's camp and order him to come to the hotel by helicopter ... because they feared they couldn't control the crowd.

The FBI has arrested one person suspected of hacking into the phones of Hollywood stars like Scarlett Johansson and Vanessa Hudgens ... and leaking private photos. And, we've learned, the FBI is convinced the guy is a lone wolf, who never got a cent for the pictures he stole ... he just did it for the thrill.

Law enforcement sources tell us the man is from Florida, and the FBI has known about him for several months, but the U.S. Attorney didn't take action until now.

Our sources say the man hacked into numerous celebrity phones and then distributed the ill-gotten photos to third parties, never asking for any money. He did it because he got a charge out of it.

The FBI says the investigation was dubbed, "Operation Hackerazzi."

So far, the identity of the suspect has not been released.

A former WWE wrestler was arrested in Florida yesterday after cops say he was injecting himself with stolen pain medicine ... while hiding inside the bathroom of a local Chili's restaurant.

Tyson Tomko -- who wrestled in the WWE between 2002 and 2009 -- is accused of robbing a CVS Pharmacy on October 10th ... allegedly threatening to attack the pharmacist unless he forked over several bottles of Oxycodone.

The pharmacist claims he complied -- and Tomko escaped with 210 tablets of the powerful painkiller.

According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, Tomko went to a nearby Chili's ... where he asked his waitress for a spoon. When the server brought him a teaspoon, he asked for a "deeper spoon" ... and when he got it, he took it to the men's room ... where he remained for 30 to 40 minutes.

Cops were eventually tipped off ... and when they arrived on the scene, one officer says Tomko had "needle marks and blood running down his arm" ... and had just flushed something down the toilet.

Tomko was taken into custody -- and allegedly told police he has a "severe drug problem."

Cops say Tomko admitted he took the Oxycodone from CVS ... and injected 178 pills, which he crushed up and melted down ... but he swore he never threatened the pharmacist.

Tomko was taken to a nearby hospital ... then transported to a nearby jail, where he was booked for robbery. He's currently behind bars -- bond was set at $7,500.

The convicted felon who played Dr. Evil henchman Random Task in the original "Austin Powers" movie is now suspected of murdering his prison cellmate ... TMZ has learned.

Prison officials say Joe Son -- who's already serving life in prison for torturing a woman in 1990 -- is the prime suspect in the murder of a 50-year-old sex offender, who was sharing a cell with Son at Wasco State Prison in central California.

Officials say the victim's body was discovered yesterday. The victim was serving a 2-year-sentence for failing to register as a sex offender.

Son is a bad guy -- who was convicted of participating in a brutal Christmas Eve gang rape and torture of a woman who was walking around her community to check out the seasonal lights.