Humor

TMZ caught mama Sharon and her daughter shopping around Malibu yesterday, where Sharon told our cameras that she'll be heading to Africa in the new year but not for charities -- instead she said she's "gonna lay my big arse out, have it massaged and see some animals." Sounds nice (the animals part anyway).

Strolling in front of Greenblatt's Deli, Norm just up and offered to shill for TMZ, and he even told us why -- that "sonofabitch Harvey Levin." (Heard of him?) McDonald even confessed that he watched "The People's Court," and not because of the judges or the defendants or the cases or Doug Llewelyn or anything else.

The star chatted up our camera guy on his way to the Ivy, doing some one man comedy about O.J. Simpson's fashion choices, picking who he'd rather -- Paris or Britney -- and even asking if we'd be available to film any upcoming car crashes in which he might find himself.

TMZ has learned audiences at the Laugh Factory in West Hollywood were shocked and awed last week, after axed Season One "American Idol" co-host Brian Dunkleman (memba him? no?) went on a tirade against Ryan Seacrest. Girls behaving badly!

During his set, Dunkleman, now an alleged comedian, poked fun at his stint on "Idol," but when he began making inappropriate comments like, "If wishes came true Ryan Seacrest would have AIDS," the laughter stopped faster than it does at a screening of "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry."

We're told the sad sap went on to spew that Seacrest "probably already has AIDS." Because, really, what's funnier than incurable life-threatening epidemics?! Luckily, once Dunkleman was done with his vicious diatribe, other comics like Godfrey brought life back into the room by actually being funny!

During last night's four-letter fest in honor of the "Flavor of Love" star, Kimmel was poking fun at the fact that Flav has several children with several different women, when he said that "Chris Benoit is a better father than you." What, too soon?

A TMZ staffer who was at the roast (airing August 12 on Comedy Central) just happened to be sitting next to two censors for the network. When Kimmel made the crack, the censors looked at each other and laughed while shaking their heads "no." One immediately put down "Chris Benoit" on a list of jokes to cut. Another joke to make the list came at the end, when the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli, called the "Flavor of Love" girls sprinkled throughout the audience "nappy headed bitches."

Perez Hilton has thrown down the digital gauntlet and dared Gummi Bear to find out which of them can chow down the most hotdogs -- is this kosher?

The Queen says he's going to be outside of Kitson on Robertson Blvd., Thursday at 5:00 PM, where they'll see which of the two bloated loudmouths can run a mile and then down the most dogs. There she blows!

Perez has asked TMZ boss Harvey Levin to officiate, and he has agreed -- on the condition that they eat only Hebrew National dogs. No word yet from Team Gummi.

Perry Caravello, the one-time "star" of a practical joke flick, filed suit today in Los Angeles County Superior Court claiming, among other things, the three funnymen owe him $10.5 million.

For several years, Caravello was duped into believing he was going to play the lead role in the faux action flick "Windy City Heat." Every actor and member of the crew was in on the joke -- except Caravello. The final product, er, joke, aired in 2003 on Comedy Central.

In his suit, Caravello claims the defendants "falsely and fraudulently" represented the project, and promised him, among other things, that he "would be paid 10 million dollars if he placed his penis in a mousetrap." Caravello says he "was severely injured when the trap literally went on his manhood." Ouch. To add insult to injury, Caravello says he's suffered "humiliation and emotional trauma" because the video has circulated the Internet. Talk about viral.

Caravello is suing for the $10.5 million that he says he is owed, plus damages and medical expenses.

Eddie Griffin collected a trophy for his high profile Ferrari crash -- but it's not necessarily an honor.

On last night's "Jimmy Kimmel Live," Jimmy gave the questionable road menace a Crashie Award for "Best Celebrity Driver" for his totaling of an Enzo at a charity event this past Monday. Kimmel explained that past winners included the car-seat phobic Britney Spears, and Billy Joel, who once crashed into a house.

Ever appreciative, Griffin thanked "the producer (whose Ferrari was the one he totaled), the director and the manufacturer, 'cuz I'm still here."

Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange played to sold-out crowds over the weekend at Luxor in Las Vegas, and was promptly puked on.

After the shows, Artie and fellow Stern sidekicks Reverend Bob Levy and Nick DiPalo headed to Body English, a nightclub at The Hard Rock. Once in the VIP area, Artie egged-on Wee Matt (a little person star in Jeff Beacher's Madhouse comedy show at the Joint) to chug his beer. Wee Matt obliged, then looked up at Artie and vomited on his leg and all over Artie's VIP table.

Diane Sawyer skipped out on a party thrown for Chris Cuomo, Sam Champion and other "Good Morning America" staffers last Friday -- and a source says that it's a sure sign that the news diva is planning on leaving the show soon.

Just as the competition heats up with "Today" after Meredith Vieira's arrival, a Sawyer sayonara could be a difficult blow to the ABC morning property. "The staff took Diane's absence as a clear message she is leaving the show," says a source to Rush & Molloy, "and is slowly starting to separate herself from it." Sawyer, say the columnists, had just arrived from interviewing Mel Gibson in his first post-DUI sit-down.

But an ABC rep dismisses any notion of Diane leaving: "She was sick in bed. She called [ABC News chief] David Westin and ['GMA' producer] Jim Murphy to see if she should still come. They urged her stay home."