Humor

Instagram users will have to go somewhere else to get their vitamin D -- the social media site shut down the growing #eggplantFriday movement.

The hashtag had been used by thousands of people, like B.O.B. ... to post pics of their covered, yet bulging junk -- but Instagram pulled it from its search filter this week ... leaving women (and men) across America with no "eggplant" eye candy.

Calls to Instagram have not been returned -- but considering IG"s stance on boobs and nudity in general ... pretty clear why they 86'd it.

Sad day for the produce world ... and for wieners. However, there's always Twitter. #FreeTheEggplant anyone?

Happy Friday!

The sorority chick who went viral for threatening to "c*** punt" her sisters is now being paid to write obscenities in a book ... and if you thought she'd tone things down -- YOU WERE WRONG!

TMZ has learned Rebecca Martinson -- who famously blasted her Delta Gamma sisters in a 2013 email that leaked online -- consulted on an upcoming book by Taylor Bell titled "Dirty Rush" ... and the foreword she wrote is filled with f-bombs.

A few select excerpts:

- "This book tells it like it f****** is. You won't find anything in here about how all sorority girls are vacuously stupid."

- "And you sure as f*** won't read anything about how a sorority girls' sole purpose in life is to be perpetually drunk and do the spread eagle wasted for frat bros."

She also helped the author make the dialogue authentic ... peppering in a few real life experiences of her own -- like the time she had sex wearing a tampon.

Marc Summers made dreams come true Tuesday afternoon on the streets of Los Angeles ... by playing a little game of "Double Dare" with a TMZ photog.

Our guy Jake has a history with the old 'DD' host, having given him a dare on the street last year. But this time it was Summers' turn to deliver the dare ... and he actually went back inside where he was having lunch to fetch a whipped cream pie specifically for the challenge.

Your 10-year-old self will LOVE this clip.

"Happy birthday to you ... happy birthday to you ... happy birthday dea ... OH MY GOD YOU HAIR'S ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!"

Ohio State football coach Urban Meyer had a minor emergency at his wife's 50th birthday dinner this week ... when she went to blow out the candles and accidentally set herself on fire.

The moment was captured on camera by her daughter Nicki who wrote, "You know you're 50 when your hair catches on fire. Shelley Meyer girl on fire. Literally. The most beautiful mommy in the world! Never a dull moment. #typical"

Don't feel bad Shelley ... you're not the first person this happened to -- just ask Skrillex ... who set his locks on fire during a bday celebration last year.

[h/t BroBible]

Jonathan Bennett's "Dancing With the Stars" appearance almost never happened ... because he suffered a humongous fall as he jokingly tried to prep for the show ... and it was all caught on tape.

So here's the deal ... the "Mean Girls" star shot this video a few months back, but kept it hidden until "DWTS" finished its run (congrats, Alfonso).

In the video, he and a few friends attempt an "interpretive dance" ... but Bennett tried a move on the railing of a staircase that ended ... well, you gotta see it. He ended up with 2 broken ribs and his arm in a sling for 2 months.

The best part -- they were dancing to "Wind Beneath My Wings."

Seeing as he was the one who allowed the video to be posted ... Bennett's ego escaped unscathed.

Bill Cosby's comedy act Thursday night is solid proof he's a living, breathing dichotomy ... on the one hand bullying weak reporters into killing stories about his alleged rapes, and on the other making himself sound like an evil man on the prowl.

Cosby performed to a packed house at the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. In one bit, he jokes about his relationship with kids, saying "Bill Cosby you are an evil man!"

But in case the audience didn't connect the dots, he went on to joke about his relationship with his wife, saying it's not as "energetic" after 50 years of marriage ... but says there are still "certain things, as a male, you get excited about."

BTW ... Cosby killed it and got a standing ovation.

You only roast the ones you love ... this according to Kevin Hart who says he actually LIKES Jameis Winston ... and that's why he grilled the FSU star to his face last week.

The "Wedding Ringer" star was leaving The Nice Guy restaurant on La Cienega last night when he defended the Florida State quarterback.

"He's a good guy. He's a good kid. He's a great athlete," Hart said.

When asked if he went a little too hard on the guy by teasing him about the crab theft incident in front of all of his FSU teammates, Hart shot that down too.

Jameis didn't seem happy about the grilling at the time ... but clearly, Hart is confident the two are on good terms.

Jerry Seinfeld can team up with Wale to make hysterical skits -- but the rapper tells us there is a limit to Seinfeld's talent in the entertainment biz.

If you haven't seen 'em ... Wale and Seinfeld are like a new odd couple in a series of online vignettes -- and our guy asked Wale about the one where Jerry tells him how to rip music critics who left him off a "best of" list.

Wale gives JS major props for the comedy -- but you gotta see how his tone changes when we ask if Jerry's gonna help him record new music. Wale doesn't want to say it, but he's saying it: Stay in your lane, Seinfeld!

Something tells us Seinfeld (and the world) will be fine if Jerry doesn't rap.

Kevin Hart went right up to Jameis Winston's face this weekend and delivered some cold, hard advice -- "YOU NEED TO STOP DOING DUMB S**T."

The star of "The Wedding Ringer" hit up Florida State University as part of his college tour and met with some of the football players ... including Winston.

And that's when he started an impromptu roast of the Heisman Trophy winner.

"I started to bring a bunch a crab legs to see if you was gonna take 'em!" Hart joked.

There's more ... it's hilarious.

But check out the look on Jameis' face -- doesn't seem like he was too happy about it.

File Under: "The Perils of Being Giant" ... because 7'6" Yao Ming hilariously tried to squeeze into the front passenger seat of a SUV this morning -- and just didn't fit.

It's not like it's a tiny 2-door coupe ... the former NBA superstar had a massive Lincoln Navigator waiting for him -- and it still couldn't handle all 90 inches of Yao.

Eventually, Ming crunched into the backseat ... but even that was a tight squeeze.

UFC legend Chuck Liddell tells TMZ Sports he was HAPPY to fork over a pair of his trunks to Randy Couture for Randy's Halloween costume -- but says he ain't exactly returning the costume honor.

Liddell was out in Calabasas Monday when he told us Randy went through a celebrity middleman to get his hands on his trunks ... and Chuck obliged because he thought it was funny.

As for Chuck, two mysteries remain -- who will he dress up as on All Hallows' Eve ... and why is his right arm is in a medical brace???

Check out the clip.

Too soon? Apparently not ... according to Gilbert Gottfried who finally decided to put Ray Rice in the comedy crosshairs.

"Obviously Ray Rice misunderstood me when I said 'She's hot, you should definitely hit that!'" ... Gilbert tweeted.

Cracking jokes on timely news stories is kinda Gilbert's thing -- and he also knows there can be consequences ... like when he was fired from his job as the voice of the AFLAC duck back in 2011 after joking about the tsunami in Japan.

Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda" music video is filled with ass -- but now, thanks to the glorious power of the Internet (and some editing software) ... it's also got a lot of gas.

A comedy duo out of South Africa named Derick Watts and the Sunday Blues released the flatulent remix late Tuesday night.

The concept might be is definitely juvenile ... but we dare you to watch it without cracking a smile.

For those who haven't seen Nicki's original -- SHAME ON YOU!!

Seems Shark Week's biggest fan ... is also its smallest.

"Austin Powers" star Verne Troyer celebrated the annual Discovery Channel tradition in costume, posting a photo to Twitter with the caption, "Got a little too excited about #sharkweek last night."

There's just one thing missing ...

Marlon Wayans made it clear to our photog ... he's unapologetic for generalizing about white chicks on the dance floor.

Marlon took a selfie at a Beyonce/Jay Z concert with a white woman dancing in the background and Instagrammed it with the caption, "UNRHYTHMIC WHITE WOMAN dancing next to me ..."

Marlon took a ration of crap from people who say he was racist. It didn't help that the chick was Australian singer Delta Goodrem, who's pretty popular.

Marlon was leaving Equinox gym in West Hollywood Wednesday when he made it clear ... he stands by his words.

Renowned ass-kicker Bob Barker is at it again ... throttling a "Bold and the Beautiful" actor the same way he did Adam Sandler in the iconic "Happy Gilmore" scene.

Sources close to the show tell TMZ ... Bob was on the soap set Tuesday filming a frame-by-frame reenactment of the fight that made him a cult comedy legend.

Bob's been on 'Bold' a couple times now playing himself for an animal awareness story line.

He moves ridiculously well for 90 ... throwing his famous left jabs and the devastating right cross -- but he does admit to our camera guy there's one move he needs a stunt double for now.

And he's still got it with the ladies -- the Barker charm is on display at the end of this clip. Don't forget to spay and neuter ... your pets.