Jersey Shore

Our car sources tell TMZ ... the fully-loaded ride cost the blowout baron upwards of $120,000 ... his first major purchase after wrapping up the third season of "Jersey Shore."

We're told the car is so sick it has seats that massage you while you drive ... which, when we think about it, sounds like a terrible idea.

As TMZ first reported, The Situation recently bought a ridiculously expensive Bentley.

Your move, Snooks.

According to the general manager of Popcorn Park Zoo in New Jersey -- the animal shelter where Snooks volunteered on Sunday -- the world famous guidette spent her time cleaning out animal pens ... a task that involved a whole lot of poop removal.

As we previously reported, Snooks was in court today -- where she pled guilty to a crime following her sloppy arrest in Seaside Heights back in July -- and the judge sentenced her to two days of community service ... on top of a $533 fine.

As we first reported, Snooki was arrested in Seaside Heights, NJ on July 30 ... after she was spotted using a beer bong and falling off a bicycle.

Judge Damian Murray scoffed at Snooki in court, saying he didn't know if her antics were scripted, adding, if it was scripted Snooki needed to decide "if it was worth trading your dignity for a paycheck."

But that wasn't the end ... The judge called Snooki's actions "rude and self-indulgent."

Snooki pled guilty to disturbing the quiet enjoyment of the beach but the disorderly conduct charge and another count were dismissed.

Snooki could have been thrown in the slammer for 90 days, but the judge let her skate with 2 days community service and a $533 fine.

Dina tells TMZ, "The family is very disappointed that a judge would say that in a court of law."

Judge Damian Murray ripped into Snooks today during her court appearance for basically being sloppy drunk on the beach.

Lindsay's atttorney Stephanie Ovadia added, "The comments were very unprofessional."

No grenades here.

But Sitch isn't rollin' alone ... his brother, Marc Sorrentino, got a slightly less-expensive 2008 Bentley.

Our Sitch sources say both cars were paid for through the brothers' company -- MPS Entertainment ... brokered by Andy Eminger from Celebrity Rental.

We're told the boys are getting the cars suped up with custom rims and sweet sound systems.

Sources connected to The Situation tell us the "stars" are scheduled to begin rehearsing on Monday -- but since Sitch still has serious "Jersey Shore" obligations (taping, appearances, etc) that dude won't be able to slip on his Capezios until at least September 8.

... and since it'll probably take a couple more days to shake that nasty "Jersey Shore" hangover ... who knows when Sitch could be ready to begin practicing for the September 20 premiere.

Bottom line -- Sitch will get almost half the prep time as Bristol Palin, Kurt Warner, David Hasselhoff and Audrina Patridge ... then again, he's the only one with a job.

Beachcomber Bar & Grill owner Michael Carbone tells TMZ, Snooki comes into the bar every other day and orders the same thing -- a cocktail called the "Scooby Snack" -- which contains coconut rum, creme de bananes, melon liqueur, pineapple juice and whipped cream.

Because of her loyalty to the Seaside Heights establishment -- and all the business she attracts -- the bar has officially decided to rename the drink "Snooki Snack" ... effective immediately.

Sources tell TMZ the "Jersey Shore" money machine scored a $400,000 signing bonus to be the spokesman for a vodka company called Devotion.

But this ain't no ordinary booze -- Devotion contains a clear protein called Casein ... which can support an increase in lean body mass and a decrease in body fat if the user is also on some sort of weight training program.

We're told The Sitch's brother, Marc Sorrentino, brokered the deal through the company they run together, MPS Entertainment.

The Sitch takes in roughly $60,000 an episode -- after bonus incentives, a source tells HR. Dude is also expected to rake in $1 million this year in appearance fees.

And there's more -- Situation is also getting paid for "developing" several products -- including an ab-centric workout video and a line of chewable supplements.

The HR also claims Sitch scored a six-figure deal to promote a line of vodka -- plus he'll get partial ownership in the company. He's also released a rap song on iTunes and has signed endorsement deals with Vitamin Water, Reebok and a clothing company.

Emilio shot a dating show pilot for Spencer's production company called "Fist Pumping 4 Love." He tells us he thinks the Speidi sex tape is "an amazing idea" and he envies Spencer for it.

But rest easy -- there is no sex tape with Emilio and ex-GF Snooki. Emilio says, "Wish I did that with Snooki. But I'm still learning and wasn't as smart as him."