Stars In Heat

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Wladimir Klitschko have taken cyber-flirting to a whole new level ... exchanging topless selfies of each other ... and it's weird.

It all started last week, when Klitschko took off his shirt and did his best Arnold flexing impression in front of a classic photo of the bodybuilding legend (see below).

WK tweeted the pic at Arnold and included a note -- "Trying to catch u since I'm 12."

Arnold, obviously flattered by the pic tweeted back, "Great shot! It’s fantastic to see one of my favorite champions nailing my pose."

The weird part -- the 66-year-old added, "Right back at you" ... and attached a topless pic of himself doing a Klitschko impression in front of an old fight poster that featured the boxer.

Somewhere, Geraldo Rivera is super jealous.

There is a blonde woman in Hawaii who has a job MILLIONS of people would kill for -- OFFICIAL PAUL WALKER SIX-PACK OILER-UPPER!!!

Paul is in Oahu to star in an ad for Cool Water cologne ... and during the shoot, the photog decided the actor's stomach needed a little more shine.

Enter, the oil lady.

Besides the grease, the woman also got to feed Paul water from a bottle ... and then poured some H20 on his body .. 'cause, why not?

So how does one get that job? If we knew, we wouldn't be here.

Stacy Keibler finally figured out how to replace the hole George Clooney left in her life -- fill it up with thousands of desert hippies at Burning Man.

The Cloon's Lake Como estate never seemed further away.

Just two months after her split from George Clooney, Stacy Keibler trekked into the scorching Nevada desert for the Burning Man festival ... in a very tiny outfit.

FYI -- Burning Man is essentially a massive art festival in the middle of the desert which focuses on "radical self expression and self-reliance."

Translation -- Lots of drugs. Lots of sex. Lots of hippies.

As for Keibler, she attended the event with her rumored boyfriend Jared Pobre (a tech entrepreneur) and documented her experience on Twitter -- including her stop at something called the "Hug Deli."

It's unclear what Stacy ordered from the Hug Deli, there were so many options (warm + fuzzy hug, bear hug, gangsta hug) ... but we know she didn't pay for it in cash -- the entire festival is based on a barter economy.

So, what did Keibler have to offer? We can think of a few things ...

Here's Hayden Panettiere during a beach weekend in Miami with her fiance Wladimir Klitschko.

Mr. Pacino, your thoughts?

Today is Labor Day ... a time to honor the hard work and dedication of our labor force, and no one is workin' it harder than Alessandra Ambrosio -- and her perfectly sculpted ass.

With his junk firmly tucked into a snug mankini, LMFAO frontman Redfoo ran around the beach in Australia this week ... in search of ... pants, maybe?

According to photographers on the scene, Red also knocked out some yoga on Bondi Beach while shooting a new ad for his clothing line.

Fun Fact -- In Australia, mankinis are referred to as "budgie smugglers."

Five stinkin' dollars ... that's what started a massive argument this weekend between several police officers and "Real Housewives" stars Teresa and Joe Giudice -- all because the couple didn't want to pay a tiny beach entrance fee, sources tell TMZ.

Here's the back story -- the Giudices were kickin' it on Ship Bottom beach on Long Beach Island, NJ Saturday afternoon (with roughly 30 friends and family members) when they were approached by a teen girl beach worker.

Sources on the scene tell us, the employee asked to see the Giudices' "beach badges" -- basically $5 admission tickets required to chill in the sand -- and the family flipped, refusing to "pay to go to the beach."

We're told one family member even yelled at the girl, saying, "F*** you, f*** this we are not paying for the f***ing beach. This is a joke!" Remember: 5 dollars per person.

We're told the girl started crying, and when beach PD responded ... the Giudices continued to kick up a stink, but eventually coughed up chump change.

Soooo ... Joe Rogan works out.

The UFC announcer went shirt-off at the beach in Hawaii this weekend ... proving Carrot Top ain't the only comic who knows his way around the weight room.

Fun Fact -- Rogan also happens to be a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu ... which is why we're immediately issuing the following apology for comparing him to Carrot Top.

Sorry Joe.

Dear Mexican drug cartels,

Here is Kate Beckinsale ... in a bikini ... in Mexico.

Please don't behead her.

It's a brawl of the Brazilian models!

Ana Beatriz Barros (31) strolled on the beach in Greece with a sexy striped bikini and wild sunglasses yesterday (left) -- while Alessandra Ambrosio (32) wore an even stripier bikini and even wilder sunglasses along side her (right).

Alessandra Ambrosio's bikini-clad stroll down a Greek beach was more than just awesome -- it also revealed why those Victoria's Secret Angels always look so smoking hot.

And yes, the answer is pretty obvious -- we're not rocket scientists.

Normally, we wouldn't feel so guilty checking out Gwen Stefani's incredible ass during a bikini-clad boat outing in France ... but her kid was there.

So, we put a black bar over his face.

And now we feel less guilty.

Enjoy!

"Homeland" star Damian Lewis hit the beach with his family in Ibiza, Spain this week ... which inspired a couple of bad terrorist-themed jokes at the office. Here's what we came up with ...

-- Abu Nazir would be proud ... 'cause that body's tha bomb, yo!
-- Waterboard? More like water excited!
-- The Shore on Terror
-- HomeSand
-- Al-Tide-a
-- Homeland Sea-curitry
-- Seahaad
-- Code: Pale anyone?
-- Sui-tide Bomber
-- U.S. Marina Corps

We could go on, but they're only gonna get worse ...

Nabilla Benattia calls herself the "French Kim Kardashian" -- but we came up with a better, more appropriate, name ... along with a kick-ass theme.

Now quit reading, and watch her prance on the beach in a bikini -- you'll be inspired too.

Bethenny Frankel knows ... when you're as tiny as she is, it's always safer to go swimming in the ocean when you're equipped with the proper flotation devices.

Safety first.