The Kardashians

It might be the ass-accentuating pants ... but yesterday in New York, Kim Kardashian's record-setting rear appeared to have reached entirely new levels of badonkness -- and we are NOT complaining.

The low-cut top didn't hurt either.

Kim Kardashian just got a WARNING from a woman with whom she has something in common -- Kris Humphries ... and the warning is ... BACK OFF!

Myla Sinanaj just tweeted to Kim, "Why don't u enjoy ur Miami trip and stop sending private investigators to my house-Stop dragging me into ur drama."

Myla followed that up with, "I don't have to explain Or apologize for who I chose to be friends with. Subpoena or not!"

Myla is referring to a subpoena from Kim's camp ordering her to sit for a deposition at the end of the month. The depo involves Kim's divorce from Kris -- something Myla may know a thing or 2 about. Myla's ex-lawyer, Joe Tacopina, already accepted service on Myla's behalf, but it seems Kim's camp may be worried Myla may now say he didn't have authority to do that.

Myla also just tweeted, "Subpoena me twice for the same thing! Hilarious."

Well, Myla, you can never be too careful ... and that doesn't just apply to getting pregnant.

Kim Kardashian came face to face with a vehicle that's even flashier than hers yesterday ... a California Highway Patrol car.

Kim's brand new $300k custom Rolls Royce Ghost got the lights and sirens treatment Thursday afternoon when the CHP singled her out on the 101 Freeway.

Sources tell TMZ, Kim was pulled over for having no license plates. But we're told she got off scot-free -- when she showed cops she secretly keeps her license plates IN HER GLOVE BOX.

And just so we're clear -- Kim did NOT receive a ticket.

We're told the paparazzi (not ours) had been following Kim from a nearby gym ... but there was no high speed chase a la Justin Bieber ... and the cops did not go after the photogs.

Despite being dressed like opposites in white and black, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian solidified their love with a very public display of affection by holding hands in France on Wednesday.

The fashion forward couple celebrated Independence Day by hitting up Paris Fashion Week with supermodel Bar Refaeli.

Despite being out of the U.S., K&K made their own 4th of July fireworks.

Kris Humphries may not be the sharpest tool, but he sure is potent, because TMZ has learned his ex-girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj is PREGNANT.

Sources directly connected with Myla tell us Myla confirmed Monday that she's 3 months pregnant and says Kris is definitely the father.

This could be used in Kris' divorce with Kim Kardashian, because Kris has claimed he was devastated by the break-up and suffered emotionally. This development further cements the fact that Kris moved on quickly.

We're told Myla plans to have the baby but wants to raise it alone, because she believes Kris has betrayed her by talking crap about their relationship.

But here's the rub ... We're told for the past 3 weeks, Kris and Myla have been communicating regularly.

Oh yeah, here's the other rub -- she hasn't told Kris yet.

The Kardashians will not destroy the Los Angeles Clippers ... so says Chris Paul ... who's adamant Lamar Odom (and his family) will NOT be a distraction to the team next season.

Chris was leaving Cecconi's restaurant in L.A. with his wife last night when we asked about the newest addition to the Clip Squad ... who was just acquired in a trade with the Dallas Mavericks.

Not only is Paul convinced that Odom won't be a distraction ... he told us, "L.O. is one of the best players in the league, man."

Kim Kardashian just kicked her boring, old, white Rolls-Royce to the curb ... for a flashier, black one. Sound familiar?

Sources tell TMZ ... KK used to love her Ghost Rolls ride (which runs a cool $250k base price) back when she was with estranged husband Kris Humphries.

But people move on ... and we're told she started singing a different tune when she got with Kanye West ... and chose to go back to black ... as in paint color ... for the car -- and traded it in.

In a move that might revitalize both his basketball and his reality television career ... Lamar Odom is heading back to Los Angeles ... 'cause he's officially been picked up by the Clippers.

Odom was the main piece in a four-team trade that was finalized this afternoon. LO will be leaving the Dallas Mavericks, where he spent one absolutely terrible season.

Lamar is in the final year of his contract and will make $8.2 million this year.

This will be Odom's second stint with the Clip Squad ... he was drafted 4th overall by the team back in 1999. He later spent seven season with the Lakers.

Sources connected with the negotiations between Lamar Odom and the L.A. Clippers tell TMZ ... Kris Jenner had nothing to do with the deal.

There are reports Kris created the master plan to get Lamar back on an L.A. team, but our sources say Lamar's agent, Jeff Schwartz, propelled the negotiations.

Lamar could be traded to the Clippers as early as today, but there are several pieces to the puzzle that have to fall into place for that to happen.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are one smooth couple ... so smooth that they even went to a laser hair removal clinic together.

With Kim in the drivers seat of a Rolls, the slick power couple showed up to zap some pesky hairs away at a L.A. area clinic on Thursday.

Kourtney Kardashian was set on a natural water birth until a few days ago when she witnessed one first hand ... and now when her water breaks she's making a beeline for Cedars ... TMZ has learned.

Our Kardashian sources tell us ... Kourtney and baby daddy Scott Disick heard water birth is better for the baby because it's a less shocking transition from the womb. Water births are often done without administering drugs ... which some experts believe is also safer for baby and mom.

Kourtney has a friend who gave birth a few days ago and she allowed Kim's sis to witness the blessed event. So Kourtney was ringside when the mother screamed like a mutha as she reared back and pushed in a tub of water.

Kourtney told friends it was "horrific" ... "looked brutally painful" -- and that was all she wrote.

So KK has decided to give birth Beyonce/Jessica Simpson style -- in a mega-suite at a fancy hospital.

Kourtney, who is due any day, will deliver her baby epidural style at Cedars-Sinai. And speaking of deliveries, Jerry's Deli is right across the street.

Pastrami on rye ... hold the water.

It's the Kardashian family's creepiest shopping spree ever -- Kim and co. hit up a famous cemetery in Hollywood yesterday ... to purchase space for their DEAD BODIES.

Sources close to the Kardashian klan tell us, Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Rob, Bruce and Kris all stopped by the Hollywood Forever cemetery to buy a family plot. We're told they haven't picked out the exact place yet, but scoped out several locations ... including a giant mausoleum.

Right now, we're told the major logistical concern is size -- Kim and her sisters aren't sure how many kids they'll have ... but they want plenty of room for all. Like we said -- creepy.

FYI -- Kim's dad Robert Kardashian is buried in another cemetery.

Kris Humphries told his ex, Myla Sinanaj ... he KNEW Kim Kardashian hooked up with Kanye West because he was mysteriously absent from the big wedding ... sources close to Myla tell TMZ.

We're told Kris groused to Myla about how Kris Jenner suspiciously referred to Kanye as "a close family friend" -- someone Kim knew for a long time. Kris H told Myla, "If he was such a close family friend, why wasn't he invited to the wedding?"

We're told Kris confided in Myla he "felt played" by the whole thing and was genuinely devastated when news of Kim's new relationship broke.

Kris Humphries invented the story about Kris Jenner masterminding Kim Kardashian's sex tape in order to live out a "disgusting" fantasy -- this according to Kim's sister Khloe Kardashian.

Khloe was out in New York today when we asked her about the TMZ story -- that Humphries told his ex-girlfriend that Kris Jenner directed Kim to make her infamous sex tape ... and even had Kim re-shoot it because the first take wasn't pretty enough.

Khloe responded, "That is just disgusting and disturbing, and probably HIS fantasy!"

It's a shocking statement coming from the woman who defended Humphries just days ago -- calling him "a good guy" unfairly caught up in a cruel extortion plot.

Kris Humphries trashed Kim Kardashian and her family in conversations and text messages to his former girlfriend, Myla Sinanaj ... telling her Kris Jenner not only directed Kim to shoot her sex tape, but to re-shoot because Kris J didn't think the first one was pretty enough.

As TMZ first reported, Kim has subpoenaed Myla in Kim's divorce case, and we've learned Myla has a lot to say about what Kris told her about his relationship with his famous estranged wife.

In addition to the sex tape, sources tell us Myla has numerous text messages in which Kris says she is the love of his life and he wants to get the divorce over with quickly so they can spend the rest of their time on earth together. In several of the messages, we're told Kris says specifically that he's "moved on" from Kim.

The information is extremely damaging to Kris, because he's alleging in his divorce that Kim has destroyed him emotionally by allegedly defrauding him into believing it was a real marriage. Turns out, Kris has been banging Myla since mid-January, so his devastation argument may be hard to swallow.

Sources close to the Kardashians tell TMZ ... Kris is lying about the sex tape. They say Kim made it clear at the beginning of their relationship she would not discuss the tape because she didn't want to be judged by it. Our sources say the sex tape never came up in any subsequent discussions between Kim and Kris and it just shows he's delusional.

Kris Humphries hasn't burned ALL of his Kardashian bridges -- it seems he still has a friend in Khloe ... who insists her sister's estranged husband is a "good guy."

Khloe was leaving La Scala in Beverly Hills yesterday when we asked how she felt about Kris' extortion case with his ex-girlfriend Myla Sinanaj.

Khloe -- who seemed pretty concerned about Humphries -- replied, "Well, that shouldn't happen to anyone ... Kris is a good guy."

We asked Khloe if she thought Kris and Myla really had a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship ... Khloe shot back, "I don't know who [Kris is] f**king, it's just not my sister, that's all I know."