You Might Want to Rethink

Rob Dyrdek is shredding NBA star Deshawn Stevenson's decision to copy him and install an ATM in his kitchen -- not because it's uncool ... but because dude is 5 years behind the times.

Sources close to the MTV star say Rob has retired the cash machine he bought back in 2007 when he was living with his co-star "Big Black." We're told Rob's ATM is now collecting dust in the bowels of his "Fantasy Factory."

As we reported, the Brooklyn Nets' Stevenson says Dyrdek inspired him to make his ballerific ATM purchase -- and even though RD thinks it's dated, he definitely understands why a rich hoops star would do it.

In his latest desperate bid for a Darwin Award, Bam Margera kayaked off a 100-foot cliff in Oregon two days ago ... and he landed his ass in very familiar territory ... the hospital.

Bam tweeted the picture yesterday, claiming he had to undergo an emergency hernia operation following the tandem kayak stunt with pro kayaker Steve Fisher.

It's unclear if Fisher was also injured during the fall -- but one thing's for certain ... they're both really, really stupid.

Snooki is no stranger to losing her balance and falling on the floor, but this time alcohol wasn't what caused her to almost bite it ... it was her huge platform wedge heels.

While arriving with all her crap to the infamous Seaside Heights crib -- where she won't be living this season -- the pregnant "Jersey Shore" star lost her footing, but luckily recovered avoiding any sort of injury to herself or her unborn baby.

Take a bunch of rednecks ... put 'em on a desert island with a giant roll of duct tape ... and you get one of the most painfully stupid things you'll ever see.

We won't go into details here -- but let's just say people from the South can be extremely resourceful when it comes to unsightly body hair removal.

The clip is from a CMT reality show called "Redneck Island" that comes out next month -- think "Survivor" but with yokels.

It might be the most cringeworthy few seconds in TV history -- Kathie Lee Gifford asked Martin Short how his wife is doing ... one small problem ... she died 2 years ago.

Martin appeared on "The Today Show" this morning to promote his new movie, "Madagascar 3" -- when Kathie asked, "And you and Nancy have one of the greatest marriages of anybody in show business. How many years now for you guys?"

Martin doesn't know how to respond, saying, "We ... have ... married ... 36 years."

Apparently Kathie didn't get the memo -- Martin's wife Nancy Dolman died in August 2010 from ovarian cancer.

The clip gets even worse -- you have to watch.

This video is nuts -- an Indiana toddler took the mic at his church recently, and sang a hate-filled anti-gay song ... with the lyrics, "Ain't no homos gonna make it to heaven" ... and the crowd went WILD.

The video was reportedly recorded at the Apostolic Truth Tabernacle in Greensburg, Indiana -- featuring a young boy on the altar, barely old enough to walk, singing a song he was obviously spoon fed.

It's pretty hard to make out the words -- so here are the lyrics ...

"The Bible’s right, somebody’s wrong.
The Bible’s right, somebody’s wrong.
Romans one, twenty six and twenty seven;
Ain’t no homos gonna make it to Heaven."

The congregation erupts in thunderous applause after the song.

FYI, here's Romans 1:26-27 -- "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error."

Clint Eastwood's daughter must have waaaaaay too much money to blow, 'cause the reality TV star just lit a $100,000 Birkin bag on fire ... all for the sake of a photo shoot.

19-year-old Francesca Eastwood -- who stars in the E! show "Mrs. Eastwood and Company" -- and her celebrity photographer boyfriend Tyler Shields decided to drop some major cash on the Hermes hand bag ... just so they could DESTROY IT!

If you don't know, the luxury-item bags range from $9,000 to $150,000 a pop (this was the $100k version) which apparently made no dent in the duo's wallet, because they sliced it in half with a chain saw and then let it burn -- all while the camera captured the fashion murder on film.

So we gotta ask ...

A WWE event in Brazil came to a screeching halt Thursday evening ... when local law enforcement stopped a live match and threatened to arrest Chris Jericho for desecrating the Brazilian flag.

It all went down during a match between Jericho and C.M. Punk -- who was proudly waving the flag in the ring. Jericho took the flag away, crumpled it up and kicked the flag out of the ring ... and that's when police stepped in and put a stop to the event.

We're told Jericho was informed that desecrating the national flag is a crime in Brazil ... punishable by incarceration.

Cops gave Jericho an option -- apologize to the arena ... or go to jail. Chris chose the former ... grabbing the mic and telling the crowd he immediately regretted his actions. Cops allowed the event to continue.

Sources connected to the WWE tell TMZ ... the flag stunt was NOT planned or approved by WWE officials.

The WWE has just released an official statement saying, "Chris Jericho has been suspended indefinitely due to an irresponsible act of denigrating the Brazilian flag at a WWE event in Sao Paulo on May 24. The WWE has apologized to the citizens and the government of Brazil for this incident."

It's the most famous crash diet in history ... the Master Cleanse ... but according to celebrity super-trainer Jillian Michaels ... it's dangerous for your body.

Michaels was out in Malibu this weekend, when we asked about rumors that Beyonce dropped the baby weight by going on a Master Cleanse ... a 10-day program where people are only allowed to consume tea and lemonade mixed with maple syrup and cayenne pepper.

"Don't do the Master Cleanse," Michaels told us bluntly ... "It's bad for you."

Back in 2006, Beyonce told Oprah she shed a TON of poundage by using the program for 14 days ... but now, Michaels insinuates Beyonce is more educated about the dangers of the Cleanse ... and HIGHLY DOUBTS the singer would ever do it again.

Dr. Oz is reeeeeeealllllyyyy excited about his pasta ... judging by the southern bulge he appeared to be sporting during a photo shoot for "Good Housekeeping" ... OR IS IT???

The Internet has been buzzing ever since this photo surfaced in the April edition of GH ... which appears to show the doc enjoying magnum-sized bites of pasta ... while pitching a khaki tent.

Some people think Oz's anatomy is to blame ... others believe it's simply an optical illusion created by a crease in his pants.

We called Oz's people to get the long and short of the photo mystery -- but so far, their lips are sealed.

Britney Spears spoke to FOX cameras before she took the stage at yesterday's Upfronts ... and she did so while chewing a piece of gum. Ding dang, y'all!!!

Britney ditched the gum by the time she went in front of the advertisers ... so clearly someone caught a glimpse of Brit's red carpet faux pas and corrected it.

For what it's worth ... Simon Cowell was chewing away too!

The gum wasn't the only thing Britney was chompin' on during yesterday's festivities -- Brit took a few bites out of her fingernails, too.

Tanning Mom will never ever EVER sully the hallowed pages of Playboy ... despite desperately wanting to strip naked for the venerable magazine -- this according to Playboy sources.

As we reported, 44-year-old Patricia Krentcil would happily accept an invitation to bare her leathery hide for Playboy ... that is, if the nudie mag offered.

But Playboy sources tell TMZ, that will never happen in a million kajillion bazillion years.

One source says, “It wouldn’t even be considered” -- Hef wouldn’t let TM pose in the magazine or ANY Playboy outlet. Simply put -- Tanning Mom just isn't Playboy material.

You don't say.

Name: Tanning Mom ... aka Patricia Krentcil
Measurements: Don't wanna think about it
Turn Ons: UV Rays, carcinoma, cameras
Turn Offs: The movie "Powder" ... the bad guy in "Da Vinci Code"

Yes, Tanning Mom says she's willing to flaunt her sizzlin' hot body for Playboy ... if only they would ask. She's even been practicing her sexy poses.

But if a clothed Tanning Mom is more your speed ... you're in luck -- TM says she's been approached by multiple people interested in featuring her on a reality show.

Still, we gotta ask ...

Competitive eating monster Takeru Kobayashi downed a gut-busting 42 CUPS of coffee for his latest food stunt -- but his rep tells TMZ, the chowdown champ handled the massive caffeine jolt like a champ ... in fact, he didn't even have to poop.

Kobayashi's rep tells TMZ, Kobayashi was a tad jittery afterwards -- but overall, he was totally fine.

The rep says Kobayashi didn't eat anything before the stunt -- shot a couple weeks ago as a promotional video for Eight O'Clock Coffee -- and "That's why he didn't get the sh*ts."

The rep adds, "Actually, the only thing after the insane amount of coffee was that he kept having to go pee over and over again ... so many times."

Octo, fully clothed, said she doesn't feel that Patricia Krentcil should lose her kids, but she does feel Child Protective Services should step in to give Krentcil some parenting tips.

POP QUIZ -- "Put the whole thing in your mouth" ... "Swallow it" ... "Keep it in there" ... these are all phrases that appear in ... A) Octomom's new porn .... or B) her recent attempt at "The Cinnamon Challenge."

If you answered A, you're probably right -- except the correct answer is B.

For those who don't know, the Cinnamon Challenge is when you try to swallow a tablespoon of ground cinnamon in 60 seconds or less ... no water, no nothing.