Humor

HOLY SCHNIKES!!!!

The Mariners went waaaayyyy back to haze one their rookies Wednesday -- making 1st baseman Dan Vogelbach dress like Chris Farley from his legendary Chippendales sketch ... and it was awesome!!

Seriously, the resemblance is uncanny!

Don't worry, Vogelbach was joined by the rest of the rooks -- who dressed up like Gumby, Supergirl, Thor, the Kool-Aid Man and others.

But no one pulled off the look-alike thing like Vogelbach!!!

#RIPPatrickSwayze

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton's first presidential debate coverage was largely predictable and even boring -- but Al Jazeera's Kimberly Halkett rose above the fray to go viral with 4 simple words.

Check out the vid ... Halkett got caught in a sea of people pre-debate. During the pushing and shoving one woman bumped Halkett from behind. She was clearly pissed about missing out on something, quickly turned and said, "Thanks a lot, bitch!"

We tried to get Kimberly on the phone, but she's still on her grind ... doing live reports -- and didn't have time to chat. It's cool. Wouldn't want to push her.

Brad Pitt's probably a long way from playing the field again, but that didn't stop an airline from using his new single status to hawk cheap flights from London to L.A.

Norwegian airlines took out an ad in the London Evening Standard this week that read "Brad is single" above their remarkably cheap £169 (about $220) one-way ticket price.

Other promos have appeared on the airline's Twitter too.

Can't knock the clever marketing, although there should be some fine print: "Actual Brad Pitt not included."

Pete Wentz is stoked he's not the top result when you Google his last name ... because that honor now belongs to Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz.

We got the Fall Out Boy frontman at LAX ... he tells us he loves the now famous rookie QB so much he loaded up on Carson merch -- even after he whooped up on his hometown Bears.

Sylvester Stallone is one hungry corpse, because hours after a hoax website pronounced him dead, he was eating Italian.

Sly and wife Jennifer Flavin were leaving Madeo in WeHo -- with '60s teen idol Frankie Avalon no less -- when our photog asked about his supposed demise.

Sly -- always the businessman -- figured out a move that would keep him on the screen postmortem.

Michael Rapaport channeled his inner Danny Aiello to scream at Jay Cutler Monday night -- blasting the Bears QB as a "mayonnaise and newspaper breath smelling motherf*****."

It's hilarious ... Rapaport's obviously paying tribute to Aiello's character in "Do the Right Thing."

Jimmy Fallon says he gave Donald Trump a 2 minute warning before messing with his hair last week ... and he doesn't think he went too soft on the guy either.

We got Jimmy after Sunday night's Emmy Awards and he described in detail what it felt like.

Jimmy also brushed off critics who blasted him for going too soft on Donald.

The 'Tonight Show' host has Hillary Clinton on this week, and it sounds like more gags are in store.

Jimmy Kimmel's Emmys joke about Johnnie Cochran has enraged a famous lawyer Johnny mentored.

Carl Douglas lashed out at Kimmel, who talked smack on O.J.'s real lawyer after Courtney B. Vance won Best Actor in a Limited Series. Kimmel said, "I have to believe Johnnie Cochran is smiling up at us tonight."

The idea that Cochran went to hell for repping O.J. was too much for Douglas to bear, saying, "That was a terribly offensive joke that Jimmy Kimmel made about my mentor and hero Johnnie L. Cochran, Jr."

Whether he's got a basketball or a microphone in his hand, Victor Oladipo is pretty damn impressive.

TMZ Sports has video of the Oklahoma City Thunder star busting out R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" at a Florida water park earlier this summer and we gotta say ... dude's got some golden pipes.

Here's the thing ... this wasn't just a random performance ... we talked with Oladipo about it, and he told us his rendition was part of a real deal talent show ... AND HE TOOK FIRST PLACE!!

Check out the video ... soak up the soul ... and don't act like you're not impressed.

Word to the wise ... DON'T ask Dikembe Mutombo to sing ... and DON'T try to duet with him on the street ... 'cause it'll lead you down a path that ends in ... FINGER WAVE HUMILIATION.

Mount Mutombo was out in NYC when one of our more adventurous camera guys asked him if he'd ever use that legendary bass voice to kick off a singing career.

Check out the clip -- the question was met with the same result Dikembe gave almost every basketball player in the '90s ... a vicious rejection ... followed by the dreaded Mutombo finger wave.

Streetball legend Bone Collector is hoping his roundball rampage on Mac Miller doesn't cost the rapper his new GF, Ariana Grande ... saying the public embarrassment shouldn't end his romance.

Nick Young has a message for anyone still giving D'Angelo Russell grief ... cut the kid a break ... saying his Lakers teammate -- who taped that bro-code violating video -- is "good" with him.

TMZ Sports got Swaggy leaving Toast in L.A. and asked how he felt that people are still razzing Russell about the whole thing ... heckling him at a recent Drake concert at Staples with chants of "HIDE YOUR PHONE!!"

You might remember ... Young has publicly said he's trying to move past the incident 'cause he "can't be mad forever" and from what he told our camera guy ... he wants the rest of the world to as well.

BTW -- He also revokes his banishment of Chris Brown from their neighborhood ... something we're sure Brown didn't give a damn about in the first place.

Jamie Foxx has a ton of mixed emotions about this year's presidential election -- but he's sure of one thing ... we're getting closer to President West in 2020.

Jamie was in Bev Hills when he told us the comedian in him is LOVING most of the rhetoric about Trump vs. Clinton. As he put it ... the "level of craziness" is off the charts -- and the way Jamie sees it ... Kanye West should be sitting back and licking his chops at all of it.

Check out the clip. It's a not so subtle dig at Trump.

Donald Trump let Jimmy Fallon get in what he hopes is one last shot at his famous hairdo.

The candidate went on the 'Tonight Show' ... and Jimmy acknowledged this might be his final shot to mess up the Donald's 'do. After all, the Secret Service doesn't take kindly to that kinda thing with actual presidents.

Trump was game and the end result wasn't pretty but it's real.

Take that, Bill Murray.

#Kingpin

DJ Khaled can make huge hits, Snapchat like a king and also drive the hell out of a Lyft while going totally incognito.

Khaled recently put on a not-so-intricate disguise, and drove unsuspecting passengers around NYC. Check out the video ... he dropped a ton of very "key" hints, but most of the riders didn't have a clue.

Key to this video -- Khaled's chat about his "sex symbol" beard and, of course, the big reveal.

Y'know those Denzel Washington memes about his moustache that you've been laughing about -- well, Denzel ain't laughing. At all. In fact, he's got some strong words for the Internet.

For the first time, Denzel talked about all those images that popped up after he went to the Pacquiao-Mayweather fight sporting a Yosemite Sam handlebar moustache. The Internet had a field day (seriously, Google it) ... but when entertainment host Xilla brought it up, Denzel got gangsta.

Check out the clip -- Xilla simply asked what he thought about the memes, and DW said, "If I had my wallet I'd show you." It gets worse after that.

Btw, the real reason for the facial hair -- Denzel was filming 'Magnificent Seven' at the time with director Antoine Fuqua ... who's sitting next to him in this clip.

"King Kong ain't got nuthin' on me" ... definitely comes to mind here.