You Might Want to Rethink

Believe it or not, there is something in even more dire straits than Lindsay Lohan's legal woes ... her career transcontinental travel outfit.

Rockin' the Scarecrow's hat, a gorilla-sleeved leather jacket and a matching pair of ill-fitting leather MC Hammer harem pants, Lindsay made her desperate way from JFK to LAX on Tuesday night.

On a positive note, what we can see of her ginger weave and bronzed face looks pretty good.

While it is unclear how the judge will rule in her court case today, the verdict Lindsay should most fear is from the fashion police.

Lindsay Lohan is gonna be in a heap of trouble tomorrow ... we've learned she will NOT be in an L.A. court Wednesday as required, because she claims she's sick ... but pictures prove otherwise.

We've learned Lindsay's new lawyer, Mark Heller, submitted documents notifying the judge she's too ill to fly. Heller submitted a note from a Park Avenue doctor who says Lindsay has an upper respiratory infection and can't fly for her own safety as well as the safety of the public.

Heller also submitted an article from the New York Post from January 11, reporting that a flu epidemic has hit the Big Apple.

But take a look at the pictures showing Lindsay on an all-day shopping spree in SoHo Saturday -- the same day the doctor allegedly examined her. She's even smoking ... which doesn't seem like great idea for someone with a respiratory infection.

Interesting ... the judge hasn't even approved Heller -- a New York lawyer -- to appear in a California court on Lindsay's behalf and already there are shenanigans.

Ndamukong Suh should NEVER have signed up to compete on "Celebrity Diving" ... this according to several of Suh's Detroit Lions teammates who tell TMZ the decision is shockingly irresponsible.

We broke the story ... Suh -- who's in the middle of a 5-year $68 MILLION contract with the Lions -- recently joined the cast of the ABC reality show ... and will be required to launch his 6'4", 307-pound body off a high diving board.

TMZ spoke to a BUNCH of Suh's teammates ... who all feel (very strongly) that he's making a huge mistake.

One source tells us ... "We need him on the field and if he gets hurt during the off-season doing wild stunts ... it would be bad and it ain't worth it. He is too valuable to the team."

Another source expressed similar concerns -- "if he gets a busted ear drum or an infection, it could have serious effects on his off-season training."

Several of Suh's teammates also told us they were surprised the organization would allow him to participate in the first place ... since there is a real serious risk he could hurt himself.

Wes Welker's wife should NEVER have said a peep about Ray Lewis ... this according to another famous (ex-)wife of the sporting world ... Linda Hogan ... who tells TMZ, it's never okay for an athlete's lady to be such a sore loser in public.

In case you missed it ... Wes' wife -- Anna Burns Welker -- went off on Lewis via Facebook after the Ravens dashed the Pats' Super Bowl chances. She later apologized ... but not before the personal jabs were already delivered.

Now Linda -- a former athlete's wife herself (kind of) -- is dishing out some jabs of her own ... calling Anna's outburst "way uncool."

According to Linda, Anna can say whatever she wants behind closed doors ... but "in a public situation, [athletes' wives] don't really have a place to make an opinion."

Lindsay Lohan's ego might be her downfall -- because TMZ has learned, she just shut down a lucrative offer to do "Dancing with the Stars" ... because she doesn't want to do reality TV.

Sources close to Lindsay tell us, the actress was made several offers to join the DWTS cast this upcoming season -- offers that maxed out at $550,000.

But Lindsay -- who still owes hundreds of thousands in back taxes -- shut them down, telling friends she'd never consider doing reality TV ... she wants to stick to films.

But there's one problem -- after "The Canyons" fiasco, she's basically made herself unhireable. And as the saying goes, beggars can't be choosers.

George Stephanopoulos is clearly not a basketball fan ... 'cause if he was, he might've known the old white-bearded African American man hangin' out at the Presidential Inauguration was NBA icon Bill Russell ... and not Morgan Freeman.

George was providing the play-by-play for ABC this morning ... when he started pointing out some of the famous people in the D.C. crowd ... and mixed up one legendary black guy for another.

George was quickly corrected by someone on the production -- and he apologized for the gaffe.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. day everyone.

Lindsay Lohan doesn't care that the prosecutor in her car crash case is willing to let her skate without spending a day in jail ... because she won't plea bargain a case in which she says she's innocent.

TMZ broke the story ... attorney Shawn Holley was on her way to court Monday to negotiate a deal in Lindsay's lying-to-cops car crash case when she got her walking papers. Law enforcement sources tell us ... the prosecutor was willing to let Lindsay plead no contest and agree to six months of lockdown rehab -- NO JAIL.

Presumably, the offer is still on the table but we're told Lindsay could not be less interested. She doesn't think she did anything wrong and will not plead to a crime she says she didn't commit.

FYI -- our law enforcement sources tell us ... prosecutors have her dead to rights, because she told cops she was a passenger in the Porsche when there's overwhelming evidence she was the driver.

So get this ... if the case goes to trial and Lindsay is found guilty, she faces 19 months in jail. On top of that, the lying-to-cops case has triggered a probation violation in her jewelry heist case and she could get ANOTHER 245 days for that.

Nicki Minaj committed the ULTIMATE steakhouse sin at Boa last night ... she sent someone out to get her A.1. Steak Sauce right in the middle of her meal ... and TMZ has the video proof!!!

FYI -- most chefs working at top steak joints across the globe consider a request for A.1. sauce (or any other sauce not made by the restaurant) as a total insult ... an insult proudly committed by millions of people every day. It's right up there with asking for your steak cooked "extra well-done and butterflied."

But last night in Hollywood, Nicki -- who was eating with her BF Safaree -- proved she doesn't give a damn ... 'cause after she sat down, TMZ cameras captured someone running in a bottle of A.1., specifically for Nicki's table.

Lindsay Lohan COULD have avoided almost certain jail time by accepting a plea deal for lockdown rehab -- that is, if she didn't fire her lawyer who was literally on the way to the courthouse to make it happen.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... the Santa Monica City Attorney -- who is prosecuting Lindsay for allegedly lying to cops after her June car crash on Pacific Coast Highway -- was willing to keep Lindsay out of jail, PROVIDED she agree to check into "lockdown rehab" for 6 months.

Sources say ... Shawn Holley -- the lawyer who has kept Lindsay out of jail -- was on her way to court Monday to meet with the prosecutor and the judge to hash out the deal. What's more, Lindsay also faces jail time for a probation violation in the jewelry heist case because she allegedly lied to cops after the crash. We're told the judge could have agreed to end both cases if Lindsay checked into rehab.

But Shawn never made it to court, because Lindsay signed her walking papers and hired a New York lawyer who was suspended in the '90s from practicing law for 5 years.

Lindsay now says she wants Shawn back. The question -- does Shawn have the stomach for another helping of Lindsay?

There's a hearing scheduled for 8:30 AM PT today. Shawn will probably show up because she's still counsel of record. If she stays on the case, prosecutors could present the deal to her, but Lindsay is making it all very difficult.

Lindsay Lohan has made one of the worst decisions of her life ... firing Shawn Holley -- the lawyer who has kept her out of jail multiple times -- and hired a New York lawyer, who was suspended from practicing law for 5 years back in 1994 ... sources tell TMZ.

Lohan is facing criminal prosecution in both California and New York. Attorney Mark Heller is repping Lindsay in the NYC assault case. Shawn Holley was repping LiLo in L.A. in her multiple criminal cases -- most recently the car crash where she allegedly lied to cops.

It's a stunning development -- given that Holley has taken heat for being too effective, keeping Lindsay out of the pokey in the jewelry heist case as well as several probation violation cases. And she's almost magically made some criminal investigations disappear.

Sources connected with the L.A. prosecution of Lindsay tell TMZ ... Heller -- who according to the New York Times has been called a "menace to the public" by some lawyers -- sent a letter to Holley saying he was now repping her on all criminal matters.

Bad timing on Lindsay's part, because sources tell us ... Holley was literally on her way to the courthouse when Heller sent his letter -- she was trying to negotiate yet another sweet settlement for Lindsay in the lying-to-cops case.

Just hours after dodging a serious bullet in her NYC nightclub assault case, Lindsay Lohan continued her London party spree last night -- hitting up the swanky Rose Club until the wee hours of the morning.

As we reported, Lindsay lucked out big time yesterday when prosecutors opted to delay proceedings for the nightclub fight Lindsay got into back in November in the Big Apple -- when she allegedly punched a fortune teller in the face.

Lindsay failed to show up to court -- and if prosecutors decided to move forward without Lindsay present, a warrant could have been issued for her arrest.

The 26 year old's been living it up abroad while her legal troubles unfold in the States -- just last Friday she partied in London 'til 5AM.

With a court date in New York fast approaching, Lindsay Lohan let off a little steam last night/this morning by partying in London with a few friends until 5:00 AM.

LiLo has been ordered to appear in a NYC court on Monday ... a result of her run-in with a psychic in a New York club back in November.

Lohan will be there to answer a desk appearance ticket, so a number of things could happen -- a future court date could be set, she could enter a plea ... those are just a few of the options.

If she doesn't show, a warrant will be issued for her arrest.

Bronson Pelletier can't deny it anymore -- the 'Twilight' actor definitely took a leak right in the middle of LAX last month ... and there's video to prove it.

In the video, an airport employee approaches Pelletier ... and then he stumbles around, whips out his penis and starts peeing ... for a very LOOONG TIME!

Interestingly, the airport employee stands by patiently waiting for Pelletier to finish ... until police show up to arrest him.

TMZ broke the story ... Pelletier was busted for public intoxication at LAX after getting thrown off a flight for being too drunk.

Witnesses said Pelletier urinated at the gate moments after he was removed from the plane, but the actor had insisted he did no such thing.

Olympic legend Michael Phelps has broken up with girlfriend Megan Rossee ... TMZ has learned.

Look at the photo above, then read that sentence again.

According to our sources, Phelps felt the relationship wasn't going anywhere, so he decided to end it so he could pursue other options.

And apparently in the world of Michael Phelps, those options are somehow better than this.

Blake Griffin escorted a hot blonde to his awesome ride -- totally fit for the superstar of the NBA's best team -- only issue is the car they got into ... is NOT made by the company paying Blake a fat endorsement deal.

The Los Angeles Clippers' human dunk machine slipped into a Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG -- a pimp sled for sure, which retails for about $140,000.

However, anyone who's watched an NBA game this season has seen Blake's hysterical Kia Optima commercials where he travels back in time to tell his young self how awesome the Optima is.

Still, Kia is paying him to pump up their product. Think about it ... ever seen Michael Jordan in an Adidas track suit?

"Twilight" actor Bronson Pelletier bitched and moaned like a schoolgirl when police cuffed him at LAX this week -- following allegations he urinated in the middle of the terminal -- and TMZ has footage of the arrest.

TMZ broke the story ... Pelletier -- who played a member of the Wolf Pack in the "Twilight" series -- was popped for public intoxication Monday, after airport employees claimed the actor drunkenly whipped out his junk in front of other passengers ... and took a whiz by his gate.

Nevertheless, the 25-year-old maintains his innocence ... insisting he's been falsely accused and no public peeing ever took place.