You Might Want to Rethink

Rihanna has released a new music video ... featuring an abusive relationship with a guy who looks JUST LIKE Chris Brown. Coincidence? We think not.

While Rihanna doesn't get beaten to a pulp in the video for "We Found Love," the guy does grab her face and inks the word 'mine' on her ass.

After two in-flight medical emergencies, rapper Rick Ross FINALLY made it to Memphis this weekend for the grand opening of a chicken wing joint.

TMZ broke the story ... Ross suffered his first seizure on a commercial flight, which had to be diverted so he could receive medical care.

Hours later, Ross got back on a private jet ... and suffered ANOTHER seizure. The plane was also diverted ... but this time Ross was rushed to a nearby hospital for treatment.

But Ross eventually made it to Memphis ... because Ross' friend, DJ Khaled, posted a photo last night ... showing the rapper sipping on a drink in front of a Tennessee Wingstop. Khaled noted, "My brother ROZAY!!IS GOOD!!!"

It's unclear HOW Ross actually got to Memphis -- or how he plans to get home.

Lindsay Lohan has violated the judge's order in her probation case by not seeing a psychologist at least once a week ... TMZ has learned ... and that may be enough to send her to the slammer.

Judge Stephanie Sautner made it clear to Lindsay during her sentence last May ... she MUST see the shrink every week, but she has not. We're told one of her excuses is that she's been working out of the country, but Judge Sautner made it extremely clear ... work is not an excuse for failing to comply with the terms of probation.

And, Judge Sautner said, if Lindsay violates any court order, she's going to jail ... period.

As we first reported, it's even worse, because Lindsay was kicked out of the Downtown Women's Center, where Judge Sautner ordered her to perform 360 hours of community service ... kicked out because she repeatedly failed to show up, and when she did she frequently did not stay the required 4 hours at a time. That's another violation of Judge Sautner's court order.

And there's even more bad news for Lindsay. Judge Sautner is going to be extremely unhappy when she learns how much community service Lindsay has completed. Sources connected with the Probation Department tell us, as of September 30, Lindsay logged a grand total of 21 hours, leaving 339 hours which must be completed by May 11, 2012.

Zac Efron almost committed the biggest party foul EVER – dropping a $100,000 dollar bottle of “Ace of Spades” champagne ... his baller gift from a Russian billionaire's son.

Sources inside Board Room nightclub in Chicago tell TMZ ... Zac attempted to lift the full 15 litre bottle on Tuesday night. We're told Zac learned the hard way it was too heavy for him -- but managed to hold on just long enough to avert the ultimate disaster.

Note: The massive guy pictured (above) delivered the bottle without breaking a sweat.

Monday Night Football will not begin with the words, "Are you ready for some football?" -- ESPN is yanking Hank Williams Jr's famous theme song tonight ... after he compared President Obama to Hitler.

Williams Jr. went on Fox & Friends this morning and criticized President Obama and Speaker of the House John Boehner for playing a round of golf together -- saying, "That's like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu."

He later said Obama and Joe Biden are "the enemy."

ESPN told CBS Sports -- which broke the story -- "We are extremely disappointed with his comments, and as a result we have decided to pull the open from tonight’s telecast."

Patti Stanger says she's extremely sorry for her homophobic and anti-Semitic remarks last night on TV -- telling TMZ, she didn't mean to stir the pot.

Patti tells us, “I am so sorry. I did not mean to offend anyone with my comments last night."

Patti appeared on Bravo's "Watch What Happens Live" -- when she said gay men are incapable of monogamy ... adding, "There is no curbing gay men ... I have tried."

But gay men weren't the only target of Patti's unprompted criticism -- she also generalized, "Jewish men lie."

Bravo is also apologizing for Patti's outburst -- telling us, “[Patti's] comments are not representative of the network’s beliefs and opinions. We apologize for the offense it caused.”

WHICH IS MORE SHOCKING -- that pregnant "Bachelor" winner Shayne Lamas is going to name her kid PRESS ... or that her unborn child is about sign a deal with a talent agency ... from inside the womb??!?!?

TMZ has learned ... Shayne and her hubby -- TheDirty.com honcho Nik Richie -- are in talks with a management company called Z Group -- which has made a formal offer to represent the baby ... even though it's still TWO MONTHS away from being born.

According to the contract, the company would get 15% of whatever the kid makes in an entertainment job ... including writer, editor, performer, musician artist, etc.

Instead of a cross, Rihanna visited a church in Rio on Friday wearing that obscene four-letter word necklace again ... you know, the one that rhymes with hunt.

Pot is in the air. Another pro athlete has been busted for pot possession.

Portland Trail Blazers star Marcus Camby was driving in Pearland, TX Monday when police pulled him over for an equipment violation. That's when the officer noticed the car reeked of marijuana.

Cops tell us they found less than 2 ounces of pot, so Marcus and a buddy were busted.

Fun fact ... cops say Marcus and his friend were charged with possession of marijuana in a drug-free zone.

Where exactly are the drug zones?

Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Jerome Simpson (left) is now the target of a massive drug investigation -- after police confiscated a mind-blowing 8.5 POUNDS of marijuana from his Kentucky home.

To put this in perspective -- casual pot smokers typically purchase by the gram ... and there are over 453 grams in a pound.

According to reports, cops searched Simpson's home after snagging a package that was shipped to his house -- containing 2.5 pounds of Mary Jane -- and then found another 6 pounds of weed, packaging materials, scales, and smoking devices.

A rep for the National Marijuana Initiative -- which coordinates marijuana enforcement operations around the country -- believes the house was set up as a "potential distribution network."

Bengals tackle Anthony Collins (right) was also present when police raided the home -- and he's being investigated as well. Police detained the two players during the search, but neither was arrested.

It's the most tragically ironic video we've ever seen -- Tareq Salahi blissfully ignorant ... cheering on his wife while she plants a fat kiss on Journey guitarist Neal Schon, deep into their secret affair.

Neal's eyes tell the whole story -- it will make you squirm.

The clip was shot backstage at a make-up concert in Virginia on Labor Day weekend -- the show was originally scheduled for August 28th but was rescheduled due to Hurricane Irene.

Tareq is holding the camera ... and it's fair to assume he has NO IDEA what's secretly going on.

And FYI ... it was no accident the Salahis turned up at that concert -- sources extremely close to Michaele tell TMZ, she had been in close touch with Neal leading up to the show.

According to sources, Neal went so far as to send Michaele an extremely suggestive message just days before the show -- "I will be there on the 4th for a make-up date. Solo!!!! Can u?"

Apparently, the answer was yes. Don't tell Scotty.

One day after she wore a top that shoved her boobs into her chin ... "Mad Men" actress Christina Hendricks SHUT US DOWN when we asked a TOTALLY FAIR question about 'em.

Hendricks was out in L.A. Tuesday night when we asked if she ever gets tired about people talking about her gals ... when she refused to answer and walked away from our camera.

Of course, Christina hasn't always been so shy about her chest ... and if you're not a blind person, you can see the proof below.

So a handicapped person drives up to a bank in New Jersey yesterday, hoping to park in the handicapped spot -- only he can't because THE SITUATION'S FRICKIN' FERRARI IS IN IT!!!!

TMZ has obtained footage ... showing the displaced handicapped guy using his cane to navigate around Sitch's expensive sports car.

Jermaine Jackson says his family had a plan in place to help his brother Michael flee the country ... if MJ had been found guilty of child molestation back in 2005.

JJ told the London Times the plan was for Michael to head to Bahrain, which does not have an extradition treaty with the U.S.

He said a plane was on call to whisk Michael away if need be ... but MJ knew nothing about the plan. He says he thought the family could have convinced Michael to go along with it.

Another big breakup on the "Jersey Shore" ... this time Snooki has kicked her BMW to the curb in exchange for a much BIGGER ride.

TMZ has learned Snooki just drove off the lot of a Long Island Cadillac dealership in a brand new Escalade.

One source close to the Snook tells us Snooki's new ride came with some pretty sick black alloy rims (pictured above).

After the deal, Snooki went to her Twitter and wrote, "Bye beamer, my poor frankie, love you always!"

No word on how much she paid for the car -- but it probably doesn't matter much ... those kids are frickin' loaded.

What's big, green, and wanted for attempted robbery?

Law enforcement tells TMZ, a man wearing a giant Gumby costume tried to knock over a 7-Eleven in San Diego early this morning -- announcing as he entered, "This is a robbery!"

The clerk behind the counter thought it was a prank -- so to prove he meant business, Gumby reached into his pockets to procure a weapon.

But thanks to his bulky, Halloween-clearance-outlet costume, no weapon was ever produced -- Gumby fumbled for several moments ... but ultimately gave up and beat a hasty, embarrassing retreat.

The video is hilarious -- cops tell TMZ, the man dropped $.26 while bungling around for his gun ... and actually tried to pick it up before taking off.