Hook Ups

Somebody's got some explaining to do ... because model Kate Upton and "Dancing with the Stars" pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy ... the most random two people ever ... left a restaurant together Monday night in NYC.

There were reports the two were spotted canoodling inside ... but sources close to both camps tell us, they're not together. Not even close. They're just friends.

Justin Bieber might be getting handfuls of Miley Cyrus' Montantas -- which would totally ruin the sex appeal points she just earned with that insane twerking video ... almost.

Yep ... it's that good.

Miley Cyrus says it's "impossible" that she's more than friends with Justin Bieber ... despite the public flirting ... 'cause she's currently engaged to someone else.

Miley called in to Hot 99.5 in D.C. this morning ... and actually responded when the DJ asked if the photos on TMZ showing Miley and Bieber flirting in public this weekend prove they're "more than friends."

Her response: "I'm ENGAGED!" she said, chuckling. "I'm engaged. That is impossible."

It's an interesting statement for two reasons -- first, it clears up the rumors that she broke things off with Liam Hemsworth.

Second, when it came to being more than friends with Justin ... her answer isn't exactly a strong "no."

Miley was also asked about Amanda Bynes -- and she says some interesting stuff.

Give it a listen.

We're told Miley arrived first (she's a regular at the place) ... with Justin showing up around 1:50 AM and heading straight for Miley's table.

We're told the two hung out for roughly 15 minutes ... laughing and flirting together ... and they both left the theater at the same time, just after 2 AM. It's unclear where they went after the show.

Hours before the late-night rendezvous, Bieber's leopard-spotted Audi was seen leaving Miley's L.A. home on Saturday.

FYI -- Miley and Bieber have been friends for years ... but it seems like there might be something more going on between the two.

Prince Jackson clearly knows how to compartmentalize his life ... because he hit the town Tuesday night in low fashion, attending the premiere of True Blood, Season 6.

The 16-year-old and his GF, Remi Alfalah, were flanked by 3 bodyguards as they left the ArcLight in Hollywood.

People inside the screening tell us ... they were "touchy-feely" and seemed happy. Almost everyone was dressed up -- except Prince, which either makes him a slouch or a baller.

This is Eddie Murphy's smoking hot girlfriend in Hawaii Tuesday ... which is pretty much all you need to know.

But IF you care to know more ... her name's Paige Butcher, she's 34 and a former Maxim model. They've been dating for 9 months-ish.

Based on his recent resume -- ex-wife Nicole Murphy, baby mama Melanie B from the Spice Girls, and film producer Tracey Edmonds -- Eddie definitely has a type: hot women who love his enormous ... sense of humor.

And most likely his money.

Matt Damon's gay sex skills are OFF THE CHARTS ... at least in his new Liberace movie "Behind the Candelabra" ... so says Liberace's real ex-lover Scott Thorson.

Thorson was out in NYC yesterday when we asked about the famous sex scene in the movie -- when Matt unleashes the fury on a buck-naked Michael Douglas -- and Thorson replied, "Matt sure can pound!!!"

Thorson says he was pleased as punch at the way Matt portrayed him in the movie -- but there was some collateral damage ... Thorson says, "I bet you Catherine [Zeta-Jones] is a little jealous."

Go Daddy honchos were ENRAGED when they saw their nerdy spokesman Jesse Heiman put the moves on a married "Twilight" actress Tuesday night -- and Heiman is begging for forgiveness.

A rep for 35-year-old Heiman -- who famously appeared in Go Daddy's Bar Refaeli-kissing Super Bowl commercial -- tells us, the Internet company was extremely upset after seeing the video TMZ posted Wednesday ... showing Jesse awkwardly attempting to steal a kiss from Nikki Reed outside Bootsy Bellows nightclub in Hollywood.

Jesse tells us, he was ordered to cancel his appearances this week -- as well as to apologize for his uncouth behavior -- and Jesse gladly obliged.

Jesse's future with Go Daddy is unclear.

"Twilight" star Nikki Reed should probably invest in some mace ... 'cause it might've helped her escape the creepy clutches of the Go Daddy nerd ... who GRABBED AND PULLED HER outside an L.A. club last night in an effort to deliver a very unwanted kiss.

Reed was leaving Bootsy Bellows with her husband Paul McDonald ... when Jesse Heiman -- the guy who famously kissed Bar Refaeli in the Super Bowl ad -- darted out of the club and beelined to Nikki for a goodbye smooch.

Nikki politely tried to resist and break away ... but Heiman grabbed her arm with one hand ... and forcefully pulled her closer to him with the other ... while lunging over to press his lips against her face.

Nikki resisted ... and even vocalized her displeasure to the 35-year-old pitchman -- "You're holding me ... my husband's RIGHT THERE."

Heiman REFUSED to be denied and landed the kiss anyway ... right before Nikki managed to escape his grasp and scurry away.

Ya gotta watch the clip -- it's about as awkward as it gets.

Kristin Cavallari took the easiest path to a slamming bikini-ready ass -- date Jay Cutler, get dumped, get pregnant with his baby, and then ... BAM! Instant booty. Simple.

If Miranda Kerr could ditch that lucky bastard Orlando Bloom for some sweet lady love ... the super hot supermodel tells TMZ ... there's only ONE WOMAN that could satisfy her craving.

Kerr hit NYC Tuesday -- in a skin tight dress -- when we asked the most important question of her career: DOES SHE HAVE A GIRL CRUSH?

Turns out ... yes, yes she does.

BONUS -- Kerr's fantasy chick HAS been in a girl-girl relationship in the past.

Smokin' hot actress Olivia Wilde is board with Jason Sudeikis.

The 29-year-old "Cowboys & Aliens" star flaunted her taut tummy in a black bikini while paddle boarding around the beach in Hawaii with her shirtless "Saturday Night Live" fiance this holiday weekend.

While Olivia looked amazing in her swimsuit, the 37-year-old funnyman proved his hairy slender torso was nothing to laugh at either.

Although they haven't revealed their wedding date, Olivia and Jason are making sure their relationship is as fit as can be.

Call her crazy ... but Karrueche Tran and Chris Brown are full-on LIVING TOGETHER ... TMZ has learned.

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ ... they hooked up days before his 24th birthday earlier this month and she's been staying at Chris' Hollywood Hills home ever since.

Though she's keeping her own apartment -- smart -- she's already moved most of her clothes and other personal belongings to his pad.

And it's not like they've been secretive ... they've been spotted everywhere lately, hitting up the Billboard Awards afterparty and even rear-ending a Mercedes together.

Karrueche's one persistent scorned lover -- when Chris first dumped her back in October for Rihanna -- she vowed to win him back, as TMZ first reported.

So where does this leave Rihanna? RiRi and Breezy officially called it quits a few weeks ago ... but they've ALWAYS had an on-again, off-again relationship ... and Chris has made it no secret -- he loves 'em both.

Daniel Day Lewis -- 3 Oscars for Best Actor.

Leonardo DiCaprio -- 0 Oscars ... and a yacht filled with gorgeous, half-naked women frolicking around the South of France this week.

Leo wins. Again.

Tom Cruise fired up his Ducati and barreled out of a fancy Hollywood hotel late last night with a BRAND NEW CHICK ridin' on the back ... at least we think it was Tom Cruise ... LET'S INVESTIGATE!!!

Here are the facts ...

We know ... a mystery man sporting a motorcycle helmet left the Chateau Marmont hotel around 11:00 pm with a woman on the backseat.

We could see the man's brow line and nose ... and they bear a striking resemblance to Mr. Cruise.

We also know ... Tom was in town Thursday night, because he was photographed at the L.A. Kings playoff game at Staples Center earlier in the evening.

Plus ... it's no secret that Tom has a penchant for riding Ducatis ... and owns a Ducati superbike ... though the bike he's usually photographed on does NOT have a backseat.

Dear Rihanna,
Please provide Chris Brown frequent Instagram reminders of what he's no longer tapping -- such as your barely covered ass -- since he was stupid enough to break up with you.
Love,
The Internet (and everyone who uses it)