MLS

Wayne Rooney is taking in some last minute R&R before signing with D.C. United ... chillin' on a yacht in Barbados with his wife and kids ... without a care in the world.

The 32-year-old is thiiiis close to inking his deal to become the latest European superstar to jump to MLS in the U.S. ... even though some critics think he's washed up.

The skeptics ain't bothering Rooney though ... who was busy floating away on an inflatable raft on Monday.

As we previously reported, Rooney flew into D.C. last week to meet with D.C. United team officials to finalize his deal ... though it doesn't appear he's put pen to paper just yet.

He's heeeeeere!!

Wayne Rooney -- one of the most famous soccer players on the planet -- has touched down in Washington D.C. to discuss an MLS contract with D.C. United.

The 32-year-old British superstar -- who currently plays for Everton -- didn't say much when he landed at Reagan Airport on Wednesday ... but people are expecting him make a lot of noise if he does get a deal done.

Rooney's reportedly very close to signing on the dotted line -- with the Washington Post reporting he's already begun house hunting.

Not everyone is stoked about Rooney coming to MLS ... Alexi Lalas told us he thinks Wayne is washed up and won't move the needle.

"He might fill some seats, but not that many seats."

"Slappin'" Zlatan Ibrahimovic was just red carded and ejected from an MLS game in Montreal ... after he BELTED AN OPPONENT IN THE EAR!

Zlatan and the L.A. Galaxy were in Canada to face the Montreal Impact when Michael Petrasso stepped on Ibra's foot ... pissing off the most famous player in the MLS.

So, to get revenge ... 36-year-old Zlatan reached back like a pimp and unloaded a 5-finger attack to Petrasso's right ear.

Petrasso collapsed to the ground ... and so did Zlatan, who tried like hell to hide the on-field assault.

Didn't work for Ibra ... the ref busted him and whipped out a red card, sending him to the locker room.

It's Zlatan's first red card in the MLS since joining the league back in March.

Even without the Swedish superstar, the Galaxy still won 1-0.

Here's a disappointment ... turns out Zlatan Ibrahimovic's arrogant ways are all for show ... because his Galaxy teammate Sebastian Lletget says the Big Z is a big sweetie, and a GREAT teammate.

Remember it was Zlatan who announced his arrival in L.A. with a full page ad in the L.A. Times that simply said "You're Welcome" ... but when we got Lletget out at LAX, he told us not to believe the hype.

"He's not arrogant," Lletget says. "He's a good teammate."

He went on to gush about Zlatan -- praising him a solid dude behind the scenes.

Not sure if we believe this ... remember, it was Zlatan who dissed U.S. soccer on the streets of L.A. back in '14, and it was Zlatan who once said, "I can't help but laugh at how perfect I am."

Soccer BEEF!!!!

D.C United coach Ben Olsen clearly wasn't too pleased about Alexi Lalas' comments on Wayne Rooney -- because now he's throwing some shade of his own.

Earlier this week, Lalas told us he wasn't too pumped about the MLS team working on a deal with Rooney -- because the guy's essentially a has-been.

"For me, Wayne Rooney doesn't move the needle," Lalas said ... "It might fill some seats, but not that many seats."

Olsen tells TMZ Sports ... the deal with Rooney isn't done yet -- but he's already going to bat for the striker ... with a shot at Lalas.

A lot of people are excited about the rumors surrounding Wayne Rooney possibly signing with D.C. United and playing in the MLS.

Alexi Lalas is not one of those people.

Lalas is usually stoked about bringing European soccer legends to the states -- just like David Beckham and Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

But when it comes to Wayne ... Alexi ain't feelin' it.

"For me, Wayne Rooney doesn't move the needle," Lalas said.

"It might fill some seats, but not that many seats."

Lalas says Rooney was a baller in his prime ... but his prime is in the past -- even though Rooney's only 32 years old.

The LAFC team wants to KILL a soccer fan tradition of chanting a homophobic slur at players during goal kicks ... and says any fan who uses the word will be immediately banned from the stadium.

The threat came hours after the newest MLS expansion team played its first game at Banc of California Stadium on Sunday ... when they beat the Seattle Sounders 1-0.

During the game, fans could be heard chanting the word "p*to" -- a word that many people and organizations, including OutSports.com, have labeled a gay slur.

Now, the LAFC is laying down the gauntlet ... saying any fan who uses the word moving forward will get the boot.

"The offensive goal kick chant is wrong and not what we are about," team officials said in a statement.

"We ask that all of our fans and Supporters work to hold each other accountable to eliminate this from Banc of California Stadium."

"Any fans identified as participating in this offensive chanting will be removed from the stadium and the Club will revoke their season membership."

So you're saying there's a chance!!!

Usain Bolt tells TMZ Sports ... the "door is open" to unretire and compete in the 2020 Olympics -- but right now he doesn't have the urge.

"I don't think so," Bolt said when asked about a return to the track ... "But when I see competition I definitely feel like I want to."

"I don't have the urge right now. Maybe when it comes around to the Olympics you never know ... but right now I don't."

Instead, Bolt says he's dead serious about pursuing a soccer career ... with real hopes of joining a pro team -- possibly in the MLS.

In the meantime, Bolt is also challenging less physically athletic people to a video game war through the Xbox Game Pass Challenge ... and he's talking smack!!!

Everyone who thinks Justin Bieber's soccer skills are legit have been living a damn lie ... because former USA coach Bruce Arena says the Biebs just ain't got it.

We got Arena out at LAX and wanted to know what an expert (even though we missed the World Cup, he's an expert) thought about Bieber's prowess on the pitch.

Our guy showed Arena some video -- then asked if he thought Biebs was any good at soccer. Unfortunately for Justin, the old coach kept it 100%, A-1, 24 carat real.

"I don't think that. I think he's better off doing what he's doing."

Don't be mad at us Justin ... we tried to remind Bruce that you're friends with Neymar and asked if you could maybe make the MLS if Neymar helped -- but Arena had a simple answer to that too.

"No."

It's not too late to say you're sorry Bruce ... TO ALL AMERICANS FOR MISSING THE FREAKIN' WORLD CUP!

Usain Bolt's futbol dreams just got red-carded by one of the biggest stars in American soccer ... who says The World's Fastest Man would get smoked in the MLS!!

We got Alexi Lalas at LAX, and filled him in on Usain telling Major League soccer teams to, "bring the big contracts."

Alexi loves that Bolt's trying to do something different ... but the Team USA legend clearly ain't buying Usain as the next Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

"Just because you're a good athlete doesn't mean you're good in a particular sport," Lalas told TMZ Sports.

"Soccer's a lot different than just being fast and being able to kick the ball."

Ouch.

That said, Alexi says he'd love to see Usain put his best foot-y forward -- just as long as him and Ibra don't squad up!

Hey Fergie, you're off the hook ...

Pop star Rachel Platten -- the chick who sang "Fight Song" -- botched the National Anthem in a SPECTACULAR way at an NWSL soccer game over the weekend ... and it's hard to watch.

Platten has performed the song on big stages before -- even singing it at the World Series!

But when she grabbed the mic in Salt Lake City on Saturday before the Chicago Red Stars took on the Utah Royals ... it was amateur hour.

It started bad ... "Oh say can you see, by the STARS early light."

It got worse ... she had to restart twice and even asked for someone to give her the lyrics. The crowd tried to join in and help her along, but the lyric blowing must have been contagious, because they were messing up too!

Usain Bolt says he ain't ruling out the MLS for his budding pro soccer career -- IF their squads show him the money!!

FYI, Bolt's been seriously pursuing footy since he retired from the track last year. Most recently, he was out tearin' up the pitch with Bundesliga's Borussia Dortmund ... and Manchester United is his dream team.

But when we got the World's Fastest Man at LAX, we had to ask if MLS teams like the L.A. Galaxy even had a shot.

Bolt's response -- "Bring the big contracts!"

Guessing MLS can't offer Premier League money ... but there are other perks that come with playing in L.A. (right, Zlatan Ibrahimovic?).

Regrets? Bruce Arena doesn't have a few ... even though Team USA didn't qualify for the 2018 World Cup.

Now that it's been a couple of months since the heartbreaking and shocking failure ... we asked the former Team USA head coach if he had any regrets for the way things went down during the qualifiers.

"I don't have any regrets," Arena told us ... "I'm disappointed, but I don't have any regrets."

'I and my staff and the players ... we gave everything we had and we fell short."

The good news -- Arena is VERY stoked about one of the young Team USA stars and says we've got a real shot to make a run in 2022.

So, who will Arena be rooting for in the 2018 World Cup now that we're not competing?

Fists were flying, beer was thrown and a dude got KICKED DOWN THE STANDS during a brawl at the NY Red Bulls game on Tuesday ... and TMZ Sports has the crazy video.

Sources in the stands tell us ... Red Bulls fans had been getting into it with Chivas Guadalajara supporters during the CONCACAF Champions League semifinal at Red Bulls Arena in NJ all game long.

But, things finally came to a head after time expired when the smack talk turned physical.

You can see beer flying from everywhere -- including people from the upper level showering the fighters below them.

The craziest moment ... one of the combatants kicked another dude right in the chest -- sending him flying backwards down several rows of seats.

Stadium security eventually showed up and broke up the violence -- but you can see several people had already suffered injuries by the time help arrived.

We've reached out to the Red Bulls and stadium security -- so far, no comment from anyone.

Tim Howard's a goalie ... so, unlike everyone else, he's allowed to use his hands -- even at the strip club!

The Team USA soccer legend was living it up at the legendary V Live over the weekend -- where we're told the dancers and the staff FREAKED OUT (in a good way) when they saw him walk in!

Side note -- apparently, soccer is huge in the Texas stripper community.

He bumped, he grinded ... he threw out thousands of dollars in cash -- everyone had a great time!

Howard and the Colorado Rapids were in Texas to face FC Dallas on Saturday ... and even though the game ended in a draw, Howard was clearly in the mood to celebrate.

Legend respect legend -- with Zlatan Ibrahimovic telling TMZ Sports ... Cristiano Ronaldo's insane bicycle kick is the best goal of all time.

Ronaldo's incredible goal against Juventes during a Champions League quarter final match on Wednesday has already gone viral. Ronaldo himself suggested it was the greatest shot of his career.

So, when we saw Zlatan leaving Il Pastaio in Bev Hills Wednesday night, we had to ask where he would rank the goal among the greatest of all time.

"It was fantastic ... best ever!"

He's not the only soccer legend who feels that way -- Zinedine Zidane described the shot as "one of the most beautiful in history."

But, was it better than Zlatan's own amazing 40-yard bomb he hit against the LAFC over the weekend during his MLS debut with the Los Angeles Galaxy?

We asked ... and got a rare moment of humility from the guy who previously said he was "born a legend."