Nurse!

UPDATE: We've just learned Ed is in the ICU and his condition is "extremely serious." As one person close to him put it -- "It's not great, to say the least."

We're told Ed McMahon has been hospitalized for nearly a month with pneumonia, bone cancer and other medical problems.

McMahon's condition is "serious" which is pretty obvious given his age -- 85 -- and the fact he has pneumonia.

We contacted Ed's rep, Howard Bragman, who confirmed the hospitalization and added, "He's not at Cedars-Sinai" -- a dig on the hospital Ed is suing for alleged malpractice and elder abuse.

No mugshots or sleepy airport pics were taken.

Tracy Morgan just released this statement regarding the fire at his NY apartment:

Sources tell TMZ an apartment belonging to "30 Rock" star Tracy Morgan caught fire early this morning ... and the source of the fire was a bunch of fish.

We're told the fire started after a light bulb in one of Tracy's fish tanks busted, which ignited the blaze. ALL OF THE FISH SURVIVED!

The fire did extensive damage. We're told Tracy was home at the time but, like the fish, he wasn't injured. FDNY responded three minutes after getting the call at 8:34 AM.

The health scare occurred just two months after Tameka gave birth to their second child.

We're told Amy Winehouse has just been released from the hospital in St. Lucia after being stricken yesterday by a mysterious ailment ... the kind that's caused by the whole "drinking heavily while battling drug addiction" thing.

It's nice to know Amy has finally been released and will never, ever have to go back to a hospital ever again. Well, assuming she finally stops craving drugs ... and attention. But mostly drugs.

With nine children of his own (including a nine-month-old son), you'd think the 65-year-old would have the tooth fairy on speed dial by now.

Radcliffe was in NYC when the accident occurred on the UK set of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows."

In 2003 Alex Rodriguez posted high marks on nearly every important test: MVP, American League home run title, and ... anabolic steroids!

According to a Sports Illustrated report, A-Rod joined the ranks of 104 other MLB players that year who also tested positive. But back in '03 there were no penalties for a positive result.

For now, there has been no comment from A-Rod, the Yankees or the players union.

Weird Al Yankovic was just involved in a three-car fender-bender in Hollywood -- not too weird considering people in California suck at driving in the rain.

It was a simple chain reaction -- a taxi cab rear-ended a car that rear-ended Weird Al.

We're told everyone was fine and the people involved even exchanged information before going on their separate ways.

Make me wanna scream!

We've obtained the 911 call made in January by an employee of Kevin Costner -- where he describes how Kevin became "violently sick" while driving.

The caller calmly explains Costner had to pull over his Audi in the middle of Hollywood after suddenly becoming ill and "throwing up".

At one point, the caller says, "It's Kevin Costner, actually, just to let you know." To which the 911 operator amusingly responds: "THE Kevin Costner?"

The 34-year-old blonde knows you have to be willing to go down on your hands and knees to get what you want.