Sex

Here's the tail of the tape: Larry's famously taken down boatloads of quality classy women, but without the notoriety of Hef's conquests. Hugh's d-list of achievements is a little more well known: Shannon Tweed, Brande Roderick, Barbi Benton ... and of course Holly, Bridget and Kendra.

This may be the very best police report of 2008. When Charles Barkley was busted in Arizona early NYE morning for DUI, he told cops he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to get some oral sex.

According to the officer who wrote the report, "He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat."

The officer continues: "He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a 'b**w job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life."

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, "I'll tattoo my name on your ass" if he helped "get him out of the DUI." According to the report, "He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, 'I'll tattoo your name on my ass' and then laughed again."

Uber-MILF Lisa Ann will be steaming it up with a certain snowmobile salesman and a bipartisan pundit named "Hilly" who's, well, just plain bi.

Rumors of an apparent Jenna Jameson pregnancy have been swirling for weeks now -- so it's interesting that she is tackling the issue of birth control -- for pets!

In a new PETA ad campaign to promote the spaying and neutering of cats and dogs, the porn princess will appear nude in bed, with the tagline, "Sometimes Too Much Sex Can Be a Bad Thing."

TMZ has finally uncovered the connection between the HGTV show "Design on a Dime" and hardcore pornography -- a host who really enjoys interiors.

While the network continues to regularly air episodes featuring former host Lee Snijders, we've learned the guy who helped homeowners for more than six years is still giving advice to couples -- but purely of the girl-on-girl variety nowadays.

Snijders used the cash he raked in from "DoaD" and his stint as a Disney Imagineer to start his own porn company with porn star girlfriend Jett Angel. You can even catch Lee in several of the reality-style skin flicks manning the camera (or so we've heard).

Rape charges were dropped against Rikki Rockett in Mississippi, because according to Rikki, an imposter named John Minskoff is out there claiming to be him ... among other big name hair bandsmen.

Being exonerated on rape charges is as good a reason as any to throw a party.

Poison drummer Rikki Rockett is using just such an occasion to throw the "Rikki Rockett Is Exonerated Party" -- part motorcycle ride, part BBQ, part live concert -- and it's all for a good cause.

Party attendees can expect nothing ... but a good time.

Cameras caught Nicole's daddy leaving famous L.A. sex boutique CoCo de Mer with a mystery lady and a bag full of goodies yesterday. We're not really sure what was in the bag -- but here's a short list of CoCo's more popular items: leather embossed paddles, human hair whips, silk blindfolds and crystal-studded merkins.

Ever wonder what it's really like for high profile socialites in prison? "Paris and Nicole Go to Jail" presents a very x-rated version of the celebulites' jail hijinks. The new porn from Venom Digital Media shows the two pokey pals -- played by seasoned thespians Sindee Jennings and Aubrey Addams -- finding "that life is different on the inside, and at first have trouble adapting, but soon learn how to get things in prison by becoming friendly with the warden, the guards, the inmates."

Fans of the fearsome twosome can watch their porn doubles get it on behind bars this September.

Stuntman Anthony Angelotti is aaaaarghuing with Walt Disney and the producers of "Pirates of the Caribbean" over injuries he allegedly sustained while working on the film. Sue me down!

As reported in the L.A. Times yesterday, Angelotti recently sued Disney for injuries he claims he suffered while working on the "Pirates" sequels, "Dead Man's Chest" and "At World's End" as Johnny Depp's stunt double. During a performance of the "human yo-yo stunt," says Angelotti, he sustained serious injuries to his pelvis, legs and bladder. The stunt simulates a fall from 80 feet. Worse than walking the plank!

TMZ has exclusively obtained a copy of the lawsuit, which alleges that Disney failed to properly supervise and carry out the "human yo-yo" and as a result, Angelotti's endured physical and emotional pain, as well as lost wages and work. Man overboard! The case goes to court this December. Arrrrrgggggggghhhh!

Boobtastic "Hills" princess Heidi Montag struck out against former BFF Lauren Conrad in an interview with Philadelphia radio station Q102 yesterday. The pneumatic blonde and her attention-whoring fiance Spencer Pratt lashed out against Conrad, report Us Weekly. Said Montag, of her former friend and roomie, "I think it's really pathetic that she's so obsessed with my life and my relationship. I think she needs to concentrate on something else, it's sad." Pot calling kettle much?

Then Montag quashed any hope of a reconciliation by saying "I never could be friends with a low-life like that."

In the wake of all the bad Lindsay Lohan news, there's a ray of porny sunshine! In honor of "Firecrotch," an adult film website is offering half-off on all videos with redheads. Spicy!

SugarDVD is offering the "Firecrotch DUI DVD Special" featuring titles like "Cherry Pie" and "Nasty Little Redheads." The best part-- they're all 50% off retail price. Snatch 'em up while you can!

But what does this have to do with Lindsay Lohan? Loads! SugarDVD will donate 13% of the sale's proceeds to Mothers Against Drunk Driving of Los Angeles.

Racy photos of the hot couple were published in this week's Life & Style magazine, showing the two engaged in a heavy makeout session in a jacuzzi at a private resort in Mexico. We're told, however, these photos only show part of the fun the couple had. Arriba!

TMZ has learned that the rest of the roll shows the two not only making out, but having hardcore sex in the hot tub. A source who has seen the photos tells TMZ that they are "Paris sex tape-level scandalous," and include images of the couple in several different sex positions. That's hot!

Today, he's Jared Fogel the friendly Subway guy. To scores of Indiana U. students back when, he was their in-dorm porno-rental superstore. Eat fresh!

Before he became a poster child for weight loss, the affable Subway spokestool once ran a adult film emporium from his bedroom, reports Best Week Ever. His collection was said to be "vast and extensive," and rental rates were hard to beat -- a dollar a day per vid. "People would come from all over to take advantage of the deal," according to BWE's source.

The same source snitches that the real reason Jared started eating Subway wasn't motivated by health concerns, but sheer laziness. Turns out that Subway happened to open a franchise on the ground floor of his dorm, so it was the closest fast-food joint to Jared's XXX lair.