The Hills

But that's not all ... the inebriated reality star also says the people who are famous in 2015 don't deserve it -- because they don't put in the same kind of work he did.

Two Choices: 1) Audrina Patridge got in a blow-out fight after a Halloween party Saturday night ... or 2) she dissolved into tears because her contacts were hurting her and her Uber didn't show.

Audrina and BF Corey Bohan had just left Hyde when she hit the ground and started bawling. Audrina tells us there was no fight -- she was just pissed because it was clear they'd have to wait forever for the Uber and her contacts were uber-uncomfortable.

Well ... we're not buyin' what she's selling. Take a look at the video. Then you decide.

The Chicago Bears are NOT a lost cause ... despite the fact they've lost 3 out of their last 4 games ... this according to Jay Cutler's wife.

Kristin Cavallari was arriving at an event at the Mondrian Hotel in L.A. last night -- striking pose after pose for photogs -- when she was asked about the struggling Monsters of the Midway.

Audrina Patridge is on the market again after 5 years with BMX biker Corey Bohan ... but retired NFL stars apparently aren't part of her rebound plan.

Audrina was at LAX giving us some relationship advice when a recently minted NFL Hall of Famer just happened to stroll by ... which got our cameraman thinking he'd be the perfect rebound guy.

We'll let you see how the encounter played out ... but suffice to say she's still available

Poor Sapp ... look what he's missing out on.

Audrina Patridge ditched her blue-skinned, "X-Men"-themed Comic-Con getup and slipped into something far more comfortable ... for everyone checking her out on Miami Beach this weekend.

Heidi and Spencer Pratt are finally splitting up ... briefly, anyway ... because they are taking part in "Celebrity Wife Swap" and taking home a nice check for it too.

According to our sources, the O.G. most hated couple of reality TV shot an episode that airs next week -- and they'll be swapping with seven-time Olympic medalist Amanda Beard and her husband.

Our sources say the Pratts took home $50,000 for the gig ... which we know is nearly $20,000 more than some other celeb couples have been paid.

Audrina Patridge is like a way hotter version of the groundhog ... who just poked her barely covered butt up out of the sand -- and good news!

It's officially bikini season. AP's ass said so.

Doug Reinhardt's neighbor is really eating his hat now -- after he took the former "Hills" star to court and demanded a restraining order ... the judge ordered the NEIGHBOR to pay $50,000.

TMZ broke the story ... Reinhardt's real estate agent neighbor obtained a temporary restraining order against the reality star back in December, claiming Reinhardt had threatened to "beat the f***" out of him for complaining about his late night parties.

The neighbor was back in court recently -- to see if the judge would make the restraining order permanent -- but not only did the judge deny the neighbor's request ... he ordered him to pay $49,500 to cover Doug's legal fees.

One thing is undeniable ... Audrina Patridge is pretty ... out of tune when it comes to singing -- but that didn't stop her from rocking a legendary stage in Las Vegas this weekend.

The former "Hills" star went to Rock n' Roll Fantasy Camp at the House of Blues in Vegas and got to perform an original song with actual rockstar, Lita Ford.

It's unclear how many days Audrina spent at the camp -- but she obviously spent more time on her rocker chick moves (decent) than anything else.

Hey, at least she's living her dreams. Off key, but still ...

For the record, AP ... here's how it's done. Classic Lita.

"Dancing" does a body good ... and Audrina Patridge and Cheryl Burke are the proof.

The ladies are both in Hawaii (on separate vacations) ... flaunting their incredible "Dancing with the Stars" physiques on the beach ... and it's NICE!

Still, we gotta ask ...

12:45 P.M. PT -- We just heard from Reinhardt's attorney who told us, "Doug Reinhardt was surprised and very disappointed that one of his neighbors took a complaint about alleged noise at a party that could have been handled in a conversation over the backyard fence to the courts." He says Reinhardt is looking forward to telling his side of the story in court.

Doug Reinhardt -- former Paris Hilton BF who appeared on "The Hills" -- has been hit with a temporary restraining order after allegedly threatening to "beat the f**k" out of his neighbor, TMZ has learned.

The 29-year-old -- who's also the heir to a frozen burrito fortune -- has been living in a $15k-per-month home above the Sunset Strip, according to legal docs ... and his next-door neighbor says he's been a total nightmare.

The main issue ... the neighbor, a bigtime real estate agent, claims Doug's been throwing crazy parties that don't START until 2:30 AM.

And when the neighbor complained, he says Doug called him a "pain in the butt" and said, "I'm going to beat the f**k out of you."

The neighbor says he fears for his life ... and begged the courts for protection.

We've learned ... the judge issued a temporary restraining order against Doug, requiring him to keep his distance from the guy -- a whole 5 yards (since they're neighbors, any other distance would essentially require one of the parties to move).

So long crazy F-cups ... Heidi Montag has unveiled her new C-cups after undergoing yet another breast-related medical procedure in October ... this time to REDUCE her breast size.

You'll recall, Montag famously underwent 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day back in 2010 -- including a mini brow lift, liposuction, buttock augmentation, Botox, a nose job, fat injections in her cheeks, nasolabial folds and lips, chin reduction, and increasing her breast size to F-cups.

Montag says she was young and "unstable" when she got the procedures ... and now warns other girls about making the same mistake.

Audrina Patridge dropped a bombshell about her "Hills" co-star slash fake bestie Lauren Conrad! LC hasn't invited Audrina to her wedding yet ... and that means AP is totally pissed!!

Unless, of course, LC just hasn't sent out invitations yet. Then it's totes cool.

12:18 PM PT -- TMZ spoke with a rep for the Evanston Police Department ... who tells us Kristin was initially stopped for speeding early this morning.

During the stop, the officer learned Kristin has been living in the state and driving without a valid IL license, which is against the law in IL.

Cops say Kristin was required to travel to the police station, in her own car, and was ultimately hit with a citation for $120 ... despite the fact that EVERYONE ON THE PLANET knows she splits her time between L.A. and Chicago because she's married to Bears QB Jay Cutler.

Cops say if Kristin wishes to continue driving in the state, she must get a valid IL driver's license.

Kristin Cavallari says she was taken into police custody in Illinois this morning -- and forced to post bail -- and claims it all has to do with her driver's license.

KC went to Twitter moments ago and said, "Who knew having a California driver's license in Illinois was a CRIME to be escorted to the police station to post bail?!! What a morning."

The former MTV star -- who's married to Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler -- is insinuating that she had the same problem Justin Bieber had in L.A. ... when he was cited for not having a valid driver's license.

In Illinois, you are required to have an IL driver's license once you have lived in the state for 90 days ... or you can be cited.

However, KC says she's not a full-time IL resident and therefore shouldn't be subjected to that law. She also tweeted about it saying, "I still have an apartment in LA so I'm a resident of California."

Story developing ...

What did Spencer Pratt do for his 30th birthday? He watched his plastic girlfriend Heidi Montag jump out of a plastic cake at a strip club in Vegas. Woooo adulthood.

Spencer, looking a little fuller these days, celebrated the day of his birth inside the VIP section of famous strip club gentleman's club Crazy Horse III on Saturday along with Heidi and friends.

In the pics Heidi goes all Marilyn Monroe on a giant fake cake. Spencer looks pretty happy about it.