The Kardashians

We kid. Khloe is there because her husband, Lamar Odom, is there with his L.A. Lakers teammates to celebrate their 2009 NBA championship.

The head of the Kardashian clan called 911 on Christmas Eve because a neighbor of his allegedly went nuts outside his house and got into a fight with Pastor Brad -- the guy who married Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom.

When Jenner called 911, he gave this dispatcher his name -- paused for a moment to say "How ya doing?" -- before the dispatcher answered, "I think I've talked to you before."

When your daughters are Kim, Khloe and Kourtney ... it helps to be friends with emergency response teams.

The Kardashian sister that's not Kim or married to Larmar Odom finally popped out her kid on Monday ... and once she regained her strength, all she wanted was a tuna sandwich.

We're told once Kourtney was feeling better, she dispatched sister Kim to Nate 'n Al -- a popular deli in Beverly Hills.

The order: One tuna sandwich and one turkey sandwich for Kourtney and her baby daddy Scott Disick to split.

Talk about a belly full...

Kourtney Kardashian was pregnant, now she isn't.

It's a boy.

The alleged victim claims around 1:00 AM, she walked up to Lamar outside of club Playhouse and told him he was "too young to be married," when Khloe suddenly "pushed me and hit me." The alleged victim immediately called police.

Cops quickly arrived to the scene, and law enforcement sources tell us they interviewed Khloe, Lamar and multiple witnesses -- but no evidence was found that a crime was committed.

We're told an incident report was taken -- but cops left the scene without making any arrests.

After a quickie wedding and a lengthy prenup battle, sources close to the situation tell TMZ the happy couple's marriage license was officially recorded in Orange County at the end of last month.

Now, just as a reminder ... according to the prenup, we're told Lamar's $33 million contract with the Lakers is off limits to Khloe -- but she'll get a lump annual sum plus a number of other perks.

Not that we don't think they'll last or anything.

We're told Lamar wants to move the Manhattan Beach house ASAP, so he cut the realtor a check to get the staging done it to make it more presentable. Lamar and his new wife, Khloe, just threw down a chunk of change on a place in Tarzana -- a cool $3.995 million.

BTW -- the furniture doesn't even come with the house. For $2.39 mil, you'd think he'd throw in a sofa at least.

Yesterday at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, porn star Lisa Ann said she hasn't even met the Kardashian clan yet, because "people don't really bring porn stars around their family" -- and said marriage with the 22-year-old would "never happen."

If a porn star and a Kardashian can't find love ... then who can??

We're told Rob Kardashian has been dating none other than Lisa Ann -- the adult film star who headlined the XXX classic, "Who's Nailin' Paylin?" Rob picked up Lisa Ann at the gym right around the time of Khloe's wedding.

Lisa Ann tells us, "Rob treats me like his little teacher and we have a fun sexual relationship that is simple and carefree. He brings out the total cougar in me and I just like to teach him things."

As the story goes, Khloe picked up her new ride last week and went to hubby Lamar Odom's apartment in Downtown Los Angeles. We're told Khloe gave it to the valet who proceeded to back it into a wall ... right in front of her.

After Kim stopped into NYC's Bourgeoisie Shoes last week and picked up a pair of $1,370 turquoise thigh high boots by Casadei, the store gifted the bootyful diva a $4,000 two karat diamond watch ... just because. Must be nice.

Let's hope she knows how to tell time.

Sources tell TMZ that Khloe and Lamar just bought a house in Tarzana for a cool $3.995 million. It's 8,347 sq. feet with seven bedrooms and nine bathrooms.

It's part of a gated community -- good for keeping the paps at bay for the five minutes a day they don't want to be photographed.

Rob Kardashian tweeted in the wee hours of the morning: "I just got into a fist fight in the bathroom at a club. Wow. I can't feel my face. At least I got mine in. Pu**y didn't wanna step outside."

Above is a shot of Rob we got as he was leaving the club. Looks fine to us.

, who campaigned publicly to get "biblically correct" Carrie booted as Miss California USA, was at Benjamin Steak House in NYC yesterday where she said "I'm looking forward to seeing" Prejean's one woman show.

FYI, perverts, the tape has not been released.

Shanna also apologized for calling Khloe Kardashian a "donkey" -- but the apology definitely seemed half-assed.

After Shanna talked about not being invited to "the donkey's wedding" on Wendy's show, the Twitter-verse exploded -- with Khloe's friend Jonathan Cheban Tweeting Shanna was a "dirty whore" and Khloe chiming "I have no idea who this girl is but I guess she is talking about me. Talk on honey... I can care less LOL."

Like any dependable celebrity these days,

also said sorry via Tweet, saying "you are right. We don't know each other personally and I apologize for my comment this morning."

What a bunch of twits.

A source close to the couple says before Reggie put his house on the market, he took a quick break from dominating in the NFL with the New Orleans Saints to fly to L.A. and go house shopping with his girl in the Hollywood Hills.

Kim's condo is currently going for a cool $1 million while Reggie's bachelor pad is priced at over $5 million ... but here's an adorable detail: They're both sharing the same real estate agent.

And with Khloe all married up and Kourtney all knocked up ... we're guessing Kim's clock is ticking pretty loud.