Lindsay Lohan Begging, Pleading, Crying

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53 seconds -- that's exactly how long Lindsay Lohan was able to beg for mercy in open court before she started to break down and cry.

Judge Marsha Revel allowed Lohan to address the court just moments ago -- and in between teary-eyed breakdowns ... Lindsay apologized multiple times and tried to explain why she missed alcohol education classes.

So we gotta ask ...

Oksana: I Didn't Leak the Mel Gibson Tape

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Oksana Grigorieva denied under oath that she's the source of the leaked Mel Gibson tape, TMZ has learned.

Mel's lawyer, Stephen Kolodny, took Oksana's deposition Friday. Although it was secret, TMZ has learned Oksana was asked squarely if she leaked the tape -- which she was prohibited from doing by the judge in the custody case.

We're told she emphatically denied being the source of the leak.

Heather Locklear -- Looking Good, Feeling Good

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Heather Locklear spent her July 5th with her daughter in Calabasas -- and if looks are any indication, rehab worked splendidly.

As we first reported, Heather recently completed a 30-day, in-patient rehab program for prescription drugs.

Michael Lohan + Rachel Uchitel = Apocalypse?

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Locusts, floods, famines ... and Michael Lohan and Rachel Uchitel hanging out. No one is safe.

The unlikely duo posed for a pic in the Hamptons this weekend with hair stylist Norma Bouza (top, left) and celebrity manager David Weintraub (top, right).

We're told Rachel was in town to see Too Short (bottom, right) perform at a private event.

Lindsay's New Girl -- Israeli Fighter

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Lindsay Lohan has a new lady in her life who is battlefield ready -- she's a former member of the Israeli Defense Force.

Sources close to the actress tell TMZ, Lindsay and Eilat Anschel -- who completed her mandatory stint in the Israeli army -- met a while ago in L.A. ... but things have been getting pretty serious over the last month.

According to sources, Lindsay started using Eilat as a "shoulder to cry on" during the whole SCRAM thing ... and then things just evolved as they do.

But again for Lindsay ... love may prove elusive. Her friends understate the problem this way: "It's not the healthiest relationship in the world." The friends say Lilo's totally obsessing over the chick.

Who really cares though -- the new girl's SMOKING HOT.

Melissa Etheridge's Ex 'Blindsided' by Breakup

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The world found out on Friday about Melissa Etheridge filing papers to end her domestic partnership with Tammy Lynn Michaels by reading it here on TMZ -- and apparently so did Tammy Lynn.

Tammy Lynn took to her blog to express her shock in the form of some kind of poetry. The post, called "blindsiding," appears to say that Tammy Lynn and Melissa agreed to part ways after Melissa's tour.

As for how she heard the news, Tammy Lynn opines:

her broken promises
told to me by
headlines

You're welcome?

Dave Chappelle Deemed 'Safety Risk' on Private Jet

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A private jet carrying comedian Dave Chappelle made an emergency landing in Pittsburgh last night because the pilot couldn't handle Chappelle's erratic behavior, TMZ has learned.

A source extremely familiar with the incident tells TMZ Chappelle boarded a private jet in New Jersey last night bound for Ohio -- where the actor lives.

During the flight, we're told Dave "freaked out" and refused to put his seat belt on. Then -- according to sources -- Dave repeatedly walked into the cockpit, asking how much longer the flight would be, and started grabbing the pilot's arms.

Sources say the pilot determined Chappelle was a safety risk and diverted the plane to Pittsburgh.

We're told Chappelle then checked into a nearby hotel for the night. Sources at the hotel tell us Dave has been telling hotel employees he wanted to rent a car to drive back to Ohio ... only he couldn't remember where he lived.

Chappelle was spotted wandering out of the hotel early this morning.

A rep for Chappelle explains the incident to TMZ by saying Dave really needed to use the restroom -- he ate something that didn't sit well -- and the bathroom on the plane was "not the kind he needed."

Heather Locklear Successfully Completes Rehab

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TMZ has learned Heather Locklear just completed a 30-day, in-patient rehab program for prescription drugs.

Sources say Locklear successfully completed the program and, as one person familiar with the situation says, "She's doing great."

Although she went to rehab after she was arrested for hit-and-run in April, sources say her decision to seek treatment had nothing to do with the incident.

TMZ broke the story ... someone mowed down a "no parking" sign near Heather's gated community in Westlake Village, CA. Cops determined the car -- registered to Heather and her ex, Richie Sambora -- struck the sign, but authorities could not determine who was driving the vehicle.

Prosecutors rejected the case because of insufficient evidence.

Melissa Etheridge Files to End Relationship

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TMZ has learned ... Melissa Etheridge has just filed legal documents with the court to formally end her relationship with Tammy Lynn Michaels.

Etheridge filed a document called a Petition for Dissolution of Domestic Partnership in L.A. County Superior Court.

Etheridge and Michaels were registered as domestic partners in California. They had a commitment ceremony back in 2003. There were reports they tried to legally marry in 2008 -- during the time when same-sex marriages were permitted in CA -- but they missed the window.

In the docs, Etheridge cites "irreconcilable differences."

Etheridge is asking for joint custody of the couple's two children. Their twins were born in 2006, after Tammy was artificially inseminated by an anonymous donor.

Etheridge's lawyer, Judy Bogen, is also asking the judge to reject any possible bid by Tammy to get financial support.

There are reports the couple split back in April.

Tiger Woods Divorce Elin Nordegren The $100 Million Woman

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TMZ has learned ... Elin Nordegren will walk away from her marriage with Tiger Woods with approximately $100 million.

As one source with direct knowledge of the terms of the divorce tells TMZ, "She'll be getting close to $100,000,000."

There have been reports Elin would score $750 million, but we have confirmed that figure is wrong. Indeed, as we first reported, Tiger is not even worth $750 million. We're told his net worth is somewhere between $500 and $600 million.

The $100 million is way more than Elin would have received under the prenup.

Sources say Elin will receive child support, but we do not know the specific amount.

As for the $100 million figure ... this is not speculation ... it comes from sources with direct knowledge of the property settlement agreement.

To put this in some perspective, Elin will be getting 10 times what Rachel Uchitel scored from Tiger.

Kelsey Grammer's Wife Files for Divorce

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TMZ has learned ... Kelsey Grammer's wife, Camille Grammer has filed for divorce.

The divorce petition was just filed by her lawyer, Neal Hersh. She is seeking joint legal custody and primary physical custody of their children.

Camille -- a member of the cast of "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" -- is citing "irreconcilable differences" and is seeking spousal and child support.

The couple -- pictured above on June 13 at the Tony Awards -- was married in August, 1997 ... they have two kids.

UPDATE 2:42 PM PT: A rep for the couple just released the following statement: "Kelsey and Camille value privacy. They understand that private lives sometimes get played out in public but ask on this occasion that their privacy -- and the privacy of their children -- be respected."

Jeremy London's Mom: I Don't Want to Bury Him

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TMZ has learned Jeremy London's mom will tell the judge this morning ... "I don't want to bury another child."

Jeremy is due in court any minute ... he's going to ask the judge for a restraining order to stop his mom and his brother Jason from yakking to the media.

Mama Debbie thinks talking about Jeremy's problems -- including alleged substance abuse -- will save his life.

We're told everyone is going into chambers ... tempers are so hot, apparently the judge doesn't want to do this in open court.

Debbie's attorney, Tamar Arminak who works for Mark Geragos, tells TMZ they will argue that Debbie and Jason have a right to freedom of speech and a restraining order would violate their First Amendment rights.

Britney Source: Bodyguard's Abuse Claim 'Absurd'

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TMZ has learned a former, part-time security worker for Britney Spears contacted the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services, claiming Britney abused her sons, but his timing raises suspicions.

Sources say Fernando Flores claimed Britney whipped one of her sons with a belt. Flores made other claims that Britney abused both sons. But sources tell us Flores did not utter a peep for more than a month after he was let go.

A source close to Britney and her family tells TMZ, "The allegations made by Fernando Flores are absurd." The source adds, "Flores was never an employee of Britney. He was never an employee of the Spears family. He worked part-time for a security company."

And sources say Children Services investigated -- as they must -- and determined the claim had no merit.

Lil Wayne Sentenced in AZ While Serving in NY

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Lil Wayne finally got some good news -- he won't have to serve any time behind bars in Arizona ... after he finishes his jail stint in New York.

Moments ago, an Arizona judge sentenced the rapper to three years probation for his role in a 2008 drug bust at a U.S. Border Patrol checkpoint. Under the deal, Wayne pleaded guilty to one count of possession of a dangerous drug.

Wayne -- who appeared in court today through a video link from his NY jail -- will begin his sentence after he's released from Rikers Island ... where he's doing time for a gun charge.

As we previously reported, Border Patrol agents claimed they found a ton of drugs inside the rapper's tour bus -- including weed, coke and ecstasy.

Beresford-Redman Cell Phone Extradition Defense

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Sources tell TMZ Bruce Beresford-Redman's cell phone -- the one Mexican authorities confiscated and then abused -- will become part of his extradition defense.

TMZ broke the story ... Mexican cops seized Beresford-Redman's cell phone after his murdered wife's body was found, and ran up an AT&T bill totaling more than $3,800.

Now we've learned the bill was for a one-month period. We're told roaming calls were made to El Salvador and elsewhere. Numerous calls were made to various locations in Mexico.

Sources tell us BBR's lawyer will raise the cell phone abuse issue if Bruce has an extradition hearing. Here's the defense argument: The Mexican police are covering for a crime wave committed at the hotel where Monica Burgos Beresford-Redman was murdered. There were two other suspicious deaths at the hotel and an attempted rape, allegedly by an employee at the Cancun hotel.

The defense has suggested, with tourism plummeting in Mexico, authorities needed a fall guy to prevent further erosion in tourism, and they picked BBR.

If Mexican cops misused evidence in the case -- i.e. BBR's cell phone -- it further compromises their integrity.

Lindsay Lohan's Hired Help -- I Can't Quit You

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Lindsay Lohan's former assistant -- the one who quit earlier this month -- is back doing LiLo's dirty work ... we're guessin' because the Naomi Campbell gig didn't pan out.

TMZ has learned Eleonore -- who was loving life yesterday as she schlepped around town, picking up bags of grub at the Newsroom Cafe in L.A. -- has been re-hired for a one month "trial run" ... because we're told quitters aren't to be trusted in Camp Lohan.

Our sources say Eleonore has been helping Lindsay out for the last six days -- or in Lindsay's world ... FOREVER.