Holidaze

Awww yeah ... Pat Sajak is kicking it with Vanna White tonight for Valentine's Day! But hold off on the champagne and fireworks -- his wife and her man will be there too.

Which means 30-plus years working together, and still no ... _ _X.

Love sucks -- at least for supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, who stepped out in L.A. Thursday with what appears to be a GIANT HICKEY on her neck.

Alessandra was with her millionaire businessman fiance Jamie Mazur at the time, so it makes sense. Especially since today is Valentine's Day (sorry for the reminder).

Amy Smart's fired up for Valentine's Day ... of course, she's married ... but if you're single and lonely -- well, who really cares?

Kidding! The real cure for your V.D. blues is -- self pleasure delivery! We should explain ...

If you're disappointed Miley Cyrus didn't show at the Miami South Beach Outdoor Festival on New Year's Day .... you're not alone, because the promoters of that event have filed a lawsuit claiming one of Miley's people took a huge amount of money but never delivered the singer.

A Florida concert promotion company says it sent $125K to a woman claiming to be Miley's booking agent -- a deposit to secure Miley for the shindig. The money was wired to a bank account while the deal was being finalized.

The lawsuit claims the booking agent cleaned out the bank account and on New Year's Day ... no Miley.

The promoters seem to believe they really were dealing with Miley's agent. We spoke with the woman, who says she does NOT work for Miley but was acting as an intermediary. She claims she forwarded the money to Miley's real agents.

Dina Lohan seemed authentically shocked that her lawyer spent New Year's Eve sober as a judge ... and speaking of which ...

Watch the video (1 minute in) ... kinda hysterical -- it seems Dina just can't believe her lawyer didn't hit the bottle. As for her ... she says she stayed home.

Now staying home could still mean she boozed it up, but inside court Dina told the judge in her DWI case she's stone cold sober and is half way through her 12-step program, consistently testing negative for drugs and alcohol.

So Dina's back in court in March, when presumably she'll have completed all 12 steps and the DWI case will be resolved.

Katy Perry made a slew of backstage demands for her New Year's Eve concert in Vegas ... crazier than Mary J. Blige's proviso requiring a new toilet seat for each venue.

TMZ got hold of the deal Katy cut with Caesar's Palace ... and her demands for backstage catering read like a farmer's market shopping list.

-fresh veggies AT ALL TIMES -- including spinach/broccoli/celery/beets/carrots/kale, etc.
-two large baskets of fruit -- one must be tropical.
-dinner must include a vegetarian option ... plus quinoa or couscous.
-ALL meals must be low-fat and health conscious and cannot contain MSG.

Katy's dressing room requirements are even more specific:

-fresh organic grown fruit (including SLICED pineapple, mango, kiwis, etc)
-fresh cut crudites (cucumber, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, snap peas & celery ... plus ranch dip)
-healthy granola
-dried figs
-whole grain tortilla chips
-large bowl hummus
-fresh made guacamole

Katy also likes fermented grapes -- 2 bottles of Pinot Grigio and 1 Argentine Malbec.

Someone needs to tell her ... wine is a gateway to the path of evil ... lined with Cheetos and pizza.

Tori Spelling spent the last day of 2013 re-setting her wedding ring ... back on her finger.

Tori has been out sans ring ... since reports surfaced that hubby Dean McDermott cheated on her with a woman in Canada ... but she clearly decided to send a different message during a New Year's Eve burger run.

Tori has said nothing about the allegations. Tori posted video XMAS morning of her and the kids opening presents ... but Dean was nowhere in sight.

12:25 PM PT -- A short time ago, Tori tweeted a photo of her family -- including Dean -- wishing fans a happy New Year.

"Duck Dynasty" star Willie Robertson rang in the New Year with a VERY interesting and probably insincere statement -- "We all learned a lot."

Willie appeared on FOX News Channel and on the surface made nice with A&E ... not gloating that the network folded like a cheap suit and brought back Phil Robertson after he made those anti-gay comments.

But here's the deal ... the family won outright. They threatened to all leave the show if Phil wasn't reinstated and they got what they wanted and no one has apologized for the comments.

So we gotta ask ...

It sure beat watching Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin hijack New Year's Eve in Times Square .. Alice Cooper, Steven Tyler, Sammy Hagar, Richie Sambora, the Doobie Brothers and
Weird Al Yankovic ... all on stage together in Maui.

The menagerie of rockers appeared on stage together at the Wailea Marriott Hotel ... where guests
forked over 500 bucks apiece to support Cooper's pet charity, the Maui Food Bank.

Sambora was a late addition to the group. He happened to be in Hawaii ... vacationing with his daughter.

Best thing in Hawaii since Don Ho (Google him).

Britney Spears is into 2 things -- her BF and B&D .. and she got to enjoy both at the same time during her Vegas New Year's Eve concert.

Brit dragged David Lucado on stage at Planet Hollywood ... forcing him down on hands and knees, strapping him into a harness and dog collar and then parading him around on a leash.

David seemed to enjoy it enough ... it's one of the fun perks of being with Britney.

T-Boz doesn't want to forget old acquaintance ... in fact, she HATES the whole New Year's Eve song "Auld Lang Syne" ... telling TMZ it's the worst piece of crap she's ever heard.

The TLC member went off on the song at LAX today ... claiming she had never even heard it before our guy sang it for her.

But after she went through the lyrics, she really got mad ... explaining that no authentic NYE song would be complete without the lyrics, "F**k 'dem hoes."

True dat.

This is it ... the last bikini objectification of the year ... and so, we proudly present -- KATIE HOLMES VS. JENNIFER ANISTON!!!!

Katie was out in Miami, flaunting her post-Tom Cruise physique in a hot pink 2-piece.

Jennifer is still in Cabo ... hangin' out with her man Justin Theroux.

Two hot bodies -- but there can only be one winner.

So, we gotta ask ...

Mike Epps wants the world to plunge into darkness ... imploring all good Christians to TAKE DOWN THEIR XMAS LIGHTS!!!

We got the comedian at LAX where he schooled us on yuletide rules ... and just like white shoes after Labor Day subscribes to the unwritten rule on removing Christmas lights.

Paul McCartney did what most celebs do around the holidays -- migrate to a warmer climate and hit up the beach!

McCartney and his wife Nancy Shevell went for a swim Friday while vacationing in St. Barts ... and the 71-year old singer was awfully spry for his age while diving into the water.

Celebs have been peacing out to exotic places around Christmas and New Years for decades ... with St. Barts, Mexico and Hawaii being the choice destinations.

Chad Johnson had a big, bold message printed on his t-shirt for all the little boys and girls at Toys R' Us to see on Christmas Eve ... "CARPE THAT F**KING DIEM" kids!

The former NFL star hit up the toy store in Pembroke Pines, FL to pick up some last minute gifts on Tuesday ... and actually decided to wear a shirt with the word "f**king" written in huge letters on the front.

Of course, the rest of the phrase was written in Latin ... so kids probably wouldn't get the "seize the day" message ... but "f**king" was written in plain English for everyone to enjoy.

We reached out to Chad for comment -- who told us, "I should've went in with no shirt."

Evelyn Lozada got a helluva Christmas gift this morning from Dodgers star Carl Crawford ... a 14.5 carat DIAMOND ENGAGEMENT RING ... and sources tell TMZ the ring's worth $1.4 MILLION!!!

Crawford -- who's in the middle of a $142 million contract -- popped the question this morning ... and the "Basketball Wives" star said YES!

Just like Dwyane Wade, Crawford picked up the ring from go-to celebrity jeweler Jason of Beverly Hills.

For the record, the ring Wade gave to Gabrielle Union was ONLY 8.5 carats ... but size doesn't really matter, right???

Evelyn has been married before -- she tied the knot with Chad Johnson back in 2012 ... but divorced him later that year after the NFL star headbutted her during an argument. Before Johnson, she was engaged to NBA star Antoine Walker (but they never married).

As for her new man, she started dating Crawford earlier this year ... and Evelyn is 7 months pregnant with his child.

Congrats!