Hook Ups

It's twue, it's twue ... it's reawwy twue ... James Deen's gargantuan penis IS the co-star in the Farrah Abraham sex tape ... at least according to James Deen.

Deen -- a professional porn star -- tells TMZ, "Word travels fast ... it isn't even edited yet. We shot it yesterday."

When asked if the two were dating, based on the fact they were seen holding hands yesterday, Deen said, "Definitely not dating. Got tested together on Friday and then saw her on set. That is my only experience with the lady."

As we first reported, the XXX footage is being shopped around to various porno companies -- including Vivid. We spoke to Vivid honcho Steve Hirsch who tells us he's seen the entire tape and says, "It's amazing ... and I'm doing everything in my power to get the rights to put it out."

Note -- if you don't get the first line in this post, you should really watch "Blazing Saddles."

Farrah Abraham was gettin' super hands on with one of the biggest male porn stars in the biz yesterday ... James Deen ... fueling rumors that he's the co-star in the "Teen Mom" star's sex tape.

Farrah and James -- who, along with having genitals that resemble an elephant trunk, once starred in a mainstream movie with Lindsay Lohan -- were photographed walking into the offices of Vivid Entertainment yesterday.

The two were holding hands ... but it's unclear if they're dating ... or just simply friends with professional benefits.

Farrah previously told TMZ she's AGAINST the release of the tape and is considering legal action to stop the footage from going public.

Prince Michael Jackson was out on a date with a girl who appears to be a princess ... TMZ has learned.

We got these pics of Prince and Remi Alfalah, who we're told is a Kuwaiti princess. They were bowling Wednesday at PINZ in the San Fernando Valley.

A source at the Kuwaiti consulate tells us ... Remi is indeed a princess who is a junior in high school. Michael Jackson's 16-year-old son Prince is also a junior. They attend the same private school.

Remi was dropped off at the bowling alley in a black SUV ... but he drove her home.

After recently getting back together, Hayden Panettiere and her giant boyfriend Wladimir Klitschko continued on their face sucking PDA tour by soaking up the sun -- and each other -- on the beach in Hollywood, Florida on Tuesday.

With rumors speculating they are already engaged, a ringless Hayden showed off her lady curves in a sexy purple fringe bikini, while Wlad bronzed his jacked up boxer's physique by going shirtless.

Magic Johnson's 20-year-old son hit the Sunset Strip, hand in hand with his boyfriend ... and his parents couldn't be happier for their kid.

Earvin Johnson III -- aka EJ -- is one of Magic's 3 kids. The Lakers legend tells TMZ, "Cookie and I love EJ and support him in every way." Magic goes on, "We're very proud of him."

The feeling is mutual ... 'cause EJ told us he's been "hoping and praying" for his dad's team, the Los Angeles Dodgers, ever since Magic and his business partners took over the franchise.

He's also a huge Lakers fan ... obviously.

EJ -- who's a student at NYU -- has a close relationship with his parents. Back in August, Magic tweeted, "Thx to my son EJ for hosting me at NYU. Look forward to taking him to dinner tonight in the city."

In the wake of her DUI arrest ... "Teen Mom" Farrah Abraham swore she's not a party girl -- and proved it by wearing skimpy lingerie, pounding booze, and making out with a chick in a nightclub!

"Teen Mom" star Farrah Abraham is telling people she's not a party girl and she got a DUI last week because of an illness ... a little hard to swallow after looking at these pictures.

The photos were snapped in January at Halo Ultra Lounge in Omaha. The promoter tells TMZ, Halo was hosting a lingerie soiree ... and Farrah showed up with a bunch of slutty-looking girls, all wearing next to nothing.

Then the boozing started ... with Farrah guzzling straight from the bottle.

You'll recall, just one day after Farrah was arrested for DUI last week -- blowing nearly twice the legal limit -- Farrah tweeted, "It's amazing what people believe and make up!"

Farrah says the reason the breathalyzer registered a .147 is because she was coughing a lot and couldn't blow properly.

They've been spotted out getting cozy again lately, but last night Hayden Panettiere and her ex-boyfriend Wladimir Klitschko put all those dating rumors to rest ... by gorging on their tongues in public.

With the entire American Airlines Arena watching, the itty bitty 23-year-old babe and her 6'6" Ukrainian boxing champ lover inhaled each other's mouths at the Miami Heat game in Florida on Sunday.

After previously dating for about two years, Hayden and Wlad ended their relationship back in 2011.

Glad to see they've kissed and made up.

It's official, Britney Spears has a new conservator boyfriend.

Rockin' her best corporate chic ensemble, the unchaperoned 31-year-old mother of two was spotted holding hands in public for the first time with new beau David Lucado at a mall in Thousand Oaks on Friday.

While they've been dating for weeks, this is their first real public display of affection since Brit Brit and 27-year-old David were spotted having dinner together on Valentine's Day.

As we told you ... David has no show biz ties. He's from Atlanta and is out here working for a law firm though not a lawyer. He's a dude of modest means.

If you've ever wondered what an Amanda Bynes mating call sounds like ... wonder no more -- because she is begging Drake to slay her genitals ... to put it delicately.

What Amanda said in a tweet last night was ... "I want Drake to murder my vagina."

Let that soak in.

Amanda has been exhibiting strange behavior since last year when she was charged in a couple of hit-and-run accidents, had her driver's license suspended, and fled Hollywood for NYC.

Drake has yet to respond to Amanda's offer, but he's not the violent type.

Unless you're Chris Brown.

Sorry you creepy weirdos ... Joe Jonas did NOT record a raunchy sex tape with his Swiss model GF ... despite reports to the contrary ... Joe's rep tells TMZ.

Reports have been circulating that Joe -- who once wore a purity ring espousing his virginity -- filmed himself doing the nasty with gf Blanda Eggenschwiler while under the influence of pot and alcohol. The reports claim the sex footage features some crazy BDSM stuff, including paddles and ball gags.

But Joe's rep tells TMZ, it's total BS ... no such tape exists.

The Game tells TMZ, he is NOT schtupping Khloe Kardashian ... despite reports to the contrary.

Photos surfaced today showing Game and Khloe -- who's married to Lamar Odom -- hugging it out in L.A.'s Runyon Canyon Park last month ... where Game's been doing a "60 Days of Fitness" program.

You'll recall, Khloe's brother Rob Kardashian is also doing the program ... and Game tells us, Khloe is too, which is why they were hanging out.

The Game says, "The pictures that they see of us out together are because she is a part of my 60DaysofFitness team."

Michael Fassbender chatted it up with a very pretty blonde girl last night in London, and you gotta wonder what she was thinkin' ... as in, "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just Michael Fassbender."

MF was in London, outside the Groucho club in Soho. The lady seems pretty calm about the whole thing. It's unclear if she recognizes Michael ... after all, he does have his pants on.

Michael is famous for "Shame." He's also famous for his extremely large penis.

When you put them side-by-side, Tiger Woods just can't hold a candle to Elin Nordegren's alleged new boyfriend. In fact, Tiger's is WAY smaller.

Billionaire coal magnate Chris Cline has moored his mega-yacht on Florida's swanky Jupiter Island, directly in front of Tiger's lesser vessel.

It's no contest all the way, with Chris' boat measuring 164 feet, and Tiger's a tidy 155 ft.

Chris does misstep in the name game. His Yacht is called Mine Games. The name of Tiger's boat is more like a plea ... Privacy.

Back to size ... Chris has got Tiger beat by a solid 9.

Macklemore knows ... when you can't find a partner to get you into the Mile High Club, ya gotta take matters into your own hands.

The "Thrift Shop" rapper was on his way to catch a flight at LAX last night when we asked if he'd ever thrown a mid-flight bone ... something that's become harder than ever to pull off these days.

Macklemore admitted he'd never actually done the deed with another person ... but revealed he has performed 1st Class service on himself ... in the lavatory, of course.

Now that he's confirmed he's dating 28-year-old Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn, Tiger Woods has his choice of rooms to make the magic happen in his sick $60 million mega estate.

Tiger's ridiculous waterfront crib on Florida's exclusive Jupiter Island comes with all the bare necessities for an athletic super couple to work up a sweat together ... like a tennis court, diving pool and lap pool, running track, boat slip and the ubiquitous backyard golf course.

Lindsey will no doubt enjoy her time being the mistress of the house.