Simon Cowell's Baby Mama Screw Lawyers ... I Got a Billionaire Divorce Mediator

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Simon Cowell's baby mama Lauren Silverman and her ex won't be settling any future disputes through overpaid lawyers -- they've enlisted a trusted mutual friend to hash out their differences ... a man who also happens to be a famous BILLIONAIRE.

According to the divorce settlement, Lauren and Andrew Silverman have named Sir Philip Green as a mediator. Green is the current CEO of the Arcadia Group, which owns the likes of Topshop, and is worth a reported $5.3 billion.

Under the settlement, Green will be one of two mediators (the other being attorney Martin Edelman) for the next 5 years.

We're told the reason Green was named a mediator is because Lauren, Andrew, and Simon each consider him to be a close friend -- and feel comfortable using Green as a neutral go-between.

How do they all know each other? We're told Green introduced Simon to Andrew and Lauren years ago (while Andrew and Lauren were still together) and all four of them hit it off.

Mariah Carey BLASTS 'AMERICAN IDOL' It Was Like Working In Hell!!!

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Mariah Carey says she HATED being a judge on "American Idol" -- claiming everyday it was like "working in hell with Satan."

Carey never mentioned Nicki Minaj by name during the explosive interview with Hot 97 in NYC yesterday ... but it's clear who she was talking about since their feud was no secret.

Carey -- who made $18 mil for her 1st season on the show -- says she was duped by producers who told her she was going to sit on a 3-person panel ... and when they added Minaj as a 4th judge, things quickly spiraled out of control.

"It was like hell ... going to work every day in hell with Satan," Carey said.

We broke the story ... Minaj and Carey fought right from the start -- and in their most famous spat, the rapper told producers, "I'm not f**kin' putting up with her f**kin' highness over there."

So, guess no Christmas duet??

Brooke Mueller Sued By Ex-Nanny Wants a Cool $10 Mil!

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Brooke Mueller has just been sued by her former nanny who wants up to $10 million -- and get this ... it's a lawsuit for overtime wages!

Norma Lavizzo worked for Brooke within the last 4 years -- we're told for a relatively short period of time -- she claims she regularly worked more than 40 hours a week with ZERO overtime pay.

Sources tell TMZ ... Lavizzo claimed she was on call and therefore worked 24 hours a day, and she couldn't even eat or rest.

Sources connected with Brooke say she made a private demand before filing suit -- asking for $10 million, and get this ... it was primarily based on a 4-day trip to Miami where she says she had to work nonstop. And of course she says she wants the 24/7 OT pay.

The nanny has a couple of problems. First, we're told she signed a release which waives any right to future money. Second, we're told there were multiple nannies in the house so she didn't have to work non-stop.

Baldwin's Accused Stalker Kim Basinger's Got NOTHING On Me

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The woman accused of stalking Alec Baldwin threatened the actor ... that if he didn't pay for her to move to New York to live with him, she would wage a "massive destructive war" worse than his fight with Kim Basinger ... TMZ has learned.

Baldwin's lawyer just submitted a series of crazy emails that Genevieve Sabourin fired off to Alec from 2011 to 2012 ... in which she warns him to call the FBI, because she'll destroy him if she doesn't get what she wants.

In one email, Genevieve writes, "You when [sic] on and on, on a massive destructive war with Kim .. and it will never end between you 2. Do you wishes [sic] to establish the same type of relationship with me?"

Genevieve then lists her demands:

-- Allience in all aspect [sic]
-- a new house in NY and MTL
-- a new wardrobe, car and jewels ... all of what I need to fonction [sic]
-- the best ccm and care to upgrade and maintain my youth, health and beauty
-- travels
-- your fidelity
-- care for my mother (so I could have peace of mind)

In the emails, Genevieve promises Alec that she will "become the most sexy, beautiful and exciting women [sic] you never had."

She also tells Alec that she knows where he lives, works and hangs out ... and that she would take yoga classes with his wife Hilaria to get close to him.

Genevieve says she doesn't want to "hurt you or harm you in any way," but she does want to "straiten your ass out, because you have humiliated me for the last time."

Charlie Sheen Selling Brooke's House I Want That Bitch Out of My Neighborhood!

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Charlie Sheen may be banking on absence making the heart grow fonder, because he's putting the house Brooke Mueller is living in up for sale, and he wants her out so badly he's making the price VERY attractive.

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... Charlie thinks Brooke is poison and does not want her living in his gated community any longer. Charlie owns the house, which he bought for Brooke to live in.

This explains why Brooke was out condo shopping in Bev Hills Monday.

As for the price ... we're told he paid $4.8 million and is willing to sell it for the same amount just to unload it quickly. Sources tell us ... under the terms of their divorce settlement, Brooke will get half of any profit.

We've done the math ... half of zero is zero.

Brooke Mueller I've Already Won the War Charlie Will Pay Out His Ass

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Brooke Mueller is quietly smiling to herself -- because she believes she's already won her custody battle against Charlie Sheen ... all thanks to his self-sabotaging rants ... and it's gonna cost him big.

Sources close to Brooke tell TMZ, they believe Brooke has gained the upper hand in the custody war after Charlie's foul-mouthed blustering against Brooke, the judge, and the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services.

Thanks to the diatribes, we're told DCFS now believes Charlie is off his rocker ... and it's more inclined than ever to give Brooke full custody of twins Bob and Max, which is what DCFS always wanted.

But that's not it -- we're told Brooke isn't just confident she'll get full custody, she believes the judge will now award her even MORE child support from Charlie than she previously received ($55,000 per month).

Ca-ching!

Brooke Mueller On the House Hunt, Leaving Charlie's Orbit

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8:50 AM PT -- Sources close to Brooke tell us, Brooke is looking to move because she believes that's what the court wants. We're told Brooke is under the impression she can't live under the same roof as her children -- and when her brother Scott moves in today with the twins, she feels she's required to find another place to live full-time until her custody rights are fully restored.

Brooke Mueller seems to be subscribing to the adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," because she's got her sights set on moving out of Charlie Sheen's neighborhood.

Brooke was shopping for condos in Bev Hills Monday ... just a day before twins Bob and Max will be living with her full-time, under the watchful eye of Brooke's brother Scott.

Here's what's interesting. Brooke has been living in a house Charlie bought just blocks from where he lives. Things have gotten so bad between the 2, Charlie has been making noises that she's becoming persona non grata, so condo shopping is not surprising.

As for who will end up paying for the condo ... it's likely good ol' Charlie will end up footing the bill. Brooke's child support was sliced in half after losing custody, but now that the kids will be living with her full-time, it's a safe bet Charlie will have to ante up $55k a month, just like in the good ol' days.

Jenna Jameson Old Porn Stuff Being Auctioned Fetish Gear, Used Dildos & More!

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In the market for some used fetish stuff from the '90s? Well you're in luck ... 'cause TMZ has learned a storage locker filled with Jenna Jameson's old porn junk is about to hit the auction block.

That's right ... things like gimp masks, a used monkey rocker dildo (instructions included) and enough leather to supply an entire orgy will soon be up for grabs!!

The items -- most of which were featured in Jenna's movies -- were discovered in a storage locker owned by Jenna's ex husband Jay Grdina, who finally decided the time was right to unload.

Among the highlights ... we're told the metal G-string was worn by Jenna in her classic film, "Janine loves Jenna" -- and Jenna wore the metal and leather garter in "Jenna loves Justin."

Don't worry, the gallery is safe for work.

Unless you work at a church ... or a school ... or pretty much anywhere that doesn't allow you to look at black-barred dildos.

Dina Eastwood Back Anchoring the News!

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Clint Eastwood's soon-to-be ex-wife is looking to make some pocket change ... she's going back to her roots -- figuratively -- TMZ has learned Dina Eastwood is going back to anchoring the news at her old TV station.

People at KSBW in Monterey, CA tell TMZ ... Dina will be anchoring the 5PM newscast beginning today and will appear part-time on the newscasts. The News Director, Lawton Dodd, tells TMZ, Dina will be anchoring daily for the next 2 weeks (SWEEPS!) and will come back from time to time.

Dina was an anchor between 1991 and 1996. She met Clint in 1992, when she interviewed him for the newscast.

Dina filed for divorce last month. There are reports Clint had an iron-clad prenup so ... every little bit helps.

Kardashian Family We Sold Our Bras To Raise $$$ For Vets

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Kim Kardashian's bra is capable of supporting a whole lot more than her boobs ... it's also helping support U.S. military families.

The Kardashians organized the charity yard sale yesterday -- for their reality show, natch -- to raise money for two charities -- the No Kid Hungry Foundation and the Greater L.A. Fisher house -- which provides housing for families of wounded warriors.

Our Kardashian peeps tell us ... the family raised about $6K by selling their old lingerie, clothing, artwork and household goods ... and the family will match the loot so the total take is $12K.

Tim Byk, founder and exec. director of Fisher House, tells us, "They reached out to us, they found us. Maybe they will make it over to the house for a pizza party."

Cash aside ... we're told the Kardashians are also donating all the items that didn't sell yesterday ... to the Fisher House families.

Kinda nice ... for Veterans Day.

Jenna Jameson I'm Doing Porn Again To Feed My Kids

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Five short years after swearing she'd never do porn again, Jenna Jameson is back getting naked on camera for money -- and she tells TMZ, it's all for the sake of her family.

Jenna recently made her return to the adult industry as a webcam model -- stripping and doing sex acts online in exchange for tips -- and she says her kids are a HUGE motivating factor behind locking down a steady paycheck.

As we reported, Jenna's been having money issues. She recently lost her Hollywood Hills home to foreclosure.

But it's all especially shocking -- because back during the AVN Awards in 2008, Jenna swore up and down that she'd "never ever ever spread my legs again in this industry. Ever." It was awkward.

Sarah Palin Levi Johnston is a 'DEADBEAT DAD!'

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Sarah Palin has no love for the daddy of her grandson ... because she just barked out to TMZ that Levi Johnston is a 'deadbeat dad.'

As TMZ previously reported, Levi just filed legal docs asking for 50/50 joint custody of 4-year-old Tripp. He says it's in the boy's best interest.

As for whether Levi should get joint custody ... Palin is incredulous.

But here's the rub ... Levi is roughly $66k behind in child support.

Palin's disdain for Levi is palpable. Watch the video ... you'll see.

Oprah Winfrey I'm Still a CASH COW

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Oprah may be on channel 1527 but it ain't stopping her "Favorite Things" from selling like hotcakes.

TMZ spoke with a bunch of the companies on the 2013 edition of O's famous list and every single one says it's already been huge for biz.

The power of Oprah's "Favorite Things" is nothing new ... but with her channel's problem attracting viewers in their target demo it's pretty impressive.

One company received 170 orders in 24 hours the day after the list was released ... and they haven't even put the magazine issue out yet.

Take that "Shark Tank!"

Ben Affleck Pays $60 For Cup Of Starbucks Coffee

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Ben Affleck needs his morning coffee -- HE NEEDS IT -- and this week, he proved he's willing to take on a $58 parking ticket to get his hands on a quick shot of the dark stuff.

Affleck and his wife Jennifer Garner rolled up to a Starbucks in Brentwood this week -- but couldn't find a spot to park ... so they risked it and put their Lexus in a yellow zone.

Everybody knows .. the yellow zone is for loading and unloading only, 5 minutes max. But the Afflecks went long ... and a vigilant parking enforcement officer slapped the car with a $58 ticket.

But did the Afflecks care? Nope ... 'cause when you're rich and you're jonesing for caffeine, you'd probably pay a helluva lot more than that.

Brooke Mueller Money Changes Everything

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Brooke Mueller loves her kids, but her feelings over custody seem to have a direct correlation to how much money she was getting from Charlie Sheen.

Here's what we know ....

-- Before Brooke lost custody of her kids, she was getting $55,000 a month from Charlie.

-- In May -- after DCFS removed twins Bob and Max from her house and gave them to Denise Richards under a guardianship -- Brooke fought tooth and nail to change the arrangement so that her brother Scott would get the kids. Sources familiar with the situation say Brooke wanted Scott because she'd be less likely to lose her child support if he had them.

-- In June, our sources say Brooke changed her tune with Denise, because there had been no movement to alter child support. We're told Brooke was downright cordial to Denise -- even grateful.

-- Everything changed in July, when Charlie filed legal docs to cut off Brooke's child support. Brooke was fighting Charlie, while Denise watched the kids.

-- In September, the family court judge cut Brooke's child support IN HALF. We're told the judge said Brooke could get the full amount back when she had the kids for a certain number of hours per week. Sources say that's when Brooke declared WAR on Denise, saying she was brainwashing the boys against her and scheming with Charlie to hurt her.

-- In October, it got even worse as it became increasingly obvious the twins had deep psychological problems. Denise was advised to take the kids to a psychologist but Brooke blocked the move. Our sources say it seemed Brooke was afraid the shrink would blame the emotional problems on her, and she would not get increased visitation that would trigger full child support payments.

So we gotta ask ...

'Hatfields & McCoys' Star Sues I Was Bucked Over On Set ... By Crazy Horse

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The guy who played Jim McCoy on the hit History Channel mini-series "Hatfields & McCoys" claims he was bucked off a horse on the set and suffered serious injuries back in 2011 -- and now he's suing, TMZ has learned.

Thomas McKay -- who also stars in "The White Queen" on Starz -- has filed a lawsuit against the producers of "H&M" claiming they lied to his face when they told him he was in good hands with the on-set horse experts.

According to the suit, filed in L.A. County Superior Court, Thomas claims the handlers were not only incompetent -- but they put him on a horse that was ill and out of control.

The result -- Thomas claims his horse became uncontrollable during the filming of a scene, bolted, and "subsequently threw [him] into a tree."

McKay claims he suffered serious and permanent injuries -- which caused "great physical, mental and nervous pain." The exact injuries were not disclosed.

McKay also claims the horses were abused on the set -- which was in Romania.

The 33-year-old actor is suing Hatfield & McCoys Productions, Thinkfactory Media and others for unspecified damages.

Thinkfactory Media had no comment.